I got married very quickly: we had only been dating for five months. I didn’t doubt that I’d found the man I wanted to spend my life with, but I did feel confused in the weeks and months after we’d gotten hitched what marriage was supposed to mean and if so, how should we make it work? We knew why we got married romantically and we knew why we got married legally — but was that all there was to it? In an upcoming HBO documentary airing on Monday, June 30th, a documentary filmmaker who pays his bills by doing wedding videography, seeks to explain the secrets of wedded bliss. In “112 Weddings,” Doug Block went back and interviewed former clients whose weddings he filmed to check in on how matrimony turned out. Some explain how they’ve kept a relationship alive all this time; others explain how their nuptials lead to divorce. Sounds like a film to watch with the husband, yes?
It has become abundantly clear to me over the past couple of months that people don’t know much about sponsoring someone for immigration. That makes sense, of course, because the majority of us will never do it. But insofar as people do know about the process, they know it involves getting a green card and having “an interview” with immigration officials. While true, but the interview and green card (hopefully) don’t come until the very end of an expensive, months-long process.
As I’ve explained before, sponsoring my husband, Kale, involved filling out a lot of paperwork. He had to do things like get a checkup and we had to gather documentation proving we like together, like bills and a bank account we both are listed on. We also submitted pics — most of them culled from my at-times cringeworthy Instagram account — of ourselves together since we started dating and from our wedding day. We also had to write affidavits about each other explaining why we wanted to be together and our best friends wrote affidavits for us, too. It wasn’t hard work, but it was a lot to get done, especially for two people who are otherwise occupied being schmoopy newlyweds. Keep reading »
Trophy wives may be nothing but a myth perpetuated by sexist research, according to a new study. Researcher Elizabeth Aura McClintock of Notre Dame reviewed the data from a large set of young adult heterosexual couples, looking to find out how people really choose their partners. She looked into two different reasons that drive pairing up – matching and exchange. Matching is a search for a partner who is similar in education levels, looks and other traits. Exchange is more the more “trophy wife”-style notion of a person trading their looks or status for a partner who has something they don’t.
Surprisingly, she found that in the past people have misinterpreted the evidence of exchange relationships. In examining couples, researchers only looked at the women’s appearance and the men’s status and disregarded data on women’s status or men’s attractiveness. They were so certain they’d find a specific result (in this case, proof of exchange relationships) that the studies were skewed. More problematic to the skewed data is the fact that rich people are more likely to be good-looking, and vice-versa. (The reasons for that correlation open a whole other can of worms about whether being pretty makes it easier to get rich in the first place, but that’s another post for another day). Keep reading »
Two years ago, I met my husband at a Foreigner concert. So far, being married has been amazing … except I have to remind myself to call him my “fiancé.”
Officially, our wedding isn’t until Halloween. See, my husband is an independent contractor and has a physical job, so he needs full coverage due to his high risk of injury. My job provides excellent insurance. Even though the Affordable Care Act dramatically cut his out of pocket costs, we could save another five grand with him on my insurance. It was a no brainer decision – we were getting married, anyway, so we might as well save some money and make it legal sooner.
So, I will experience both eloping and having a big wedding. Now that I’m in the thick of planning the big wedding part, I can see why people intentionally elope. We are too far along in wedding mode to turn back now, but I would definitely say from my experience I would have reconsidered five months ago.
From my experience, here’s what I have discovered about the best of both options: Keep reading »
A wife bringing home the bacon isn’t the death knoll of a relationship that it has been made out to be. According to a new survey of 1,000 married couples over age 25 by MONEY magazine, husbands are actually happier when on equal financial footing with their wives. Keep reading »
So it turns out 55 percent of Americans now support gay marriage. I suppose my little queer heart ought to be delighted that we’re slowly stumbling into being treated “just like everyone else.” Instead, if I’m honest, I feel disappointed in the gay rights movement. Keep reading »
Today In Things That Maybe Should Have Been Ironed Out Before He Got Married:
TMZ claims that Sherri Shepherd’s estranged husband Lamar Sally asked to add an amendment to the couple’s prenup with these alleged heady requests:
- “It is my joy to submit to my husband as a way to honor God. Even if my husband doesn’t respond the way I’d like, I will respect him and be loyal to him. I will walk in his shoes and seek to understand his perspective.”
- “I respect my husband’s opinions and recognize him as the leader of our home. I will always speak well of my husband.”
- “I enjoy having sex with my husband. I crave intimacy with him and want to be uninhibited and free in our lovemaking.”
- “MY BODY IS IMPORTANT TO ME. I STRIVE TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY BODY WEIGHT AND EXERCISE AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK.”
You can read the full alleged amendment to the prenup here. Sherri, not surprisingly, would not sign it. Keep reading »
Hey, guess what? I’m here with good news! Stop worrying about getting married.
I know this seems sudden. It’s only a normal Friday in May and you’re probably just living your own life. But let’s be honest with ourselves. We think about getting hitched all the time. We think about marriage with awe and a sense of wonder, the way we look at marriage on Pinterest; and the pretty lace, peonies with twine around them, engagement pictures with your honey gazing at you like he NEVER has before. We also think about marriage in a state of terror and panic. When is it going to happen to me? Why are engagements popping up everywhere on Facebook but avoiding my life like the modern-day plague? Read more on College Candy…
There’s been one movie everyone has been telling me to see all year, recommended so many times that I’ve genuinely lost count of the suggestions. It didn’t win the Academy Award for Best Picture. It doesn’t feature actors that I particularly like. But I’ve been told that “The Proposal,” starring Sandra Bullock as a Canadian working in New York City who needs her underling, played by Ryan Reynolds, to marry her so that she can stay in the country, like, so closely resembles my life or something.
So I finally hunkered down this weekend to watch “The Proposal.” And I’m sorry to report that just about everything in it— from the green card legalese, to the immigration official who crashes the wedding, to the lightening quick timeframe — is unrealistic. I can’t blame anyone, though, for accepting Hollywood’s interpretation of a marriage between an American and a foreigner as how immigration works. Over the past year, I’ve come to realize that most people don’t understand it (precisely because of movies like “The Proposal,” probably). Keep reading »
In case there weren’t enough findings already being used to perpetuate female insecurity, a University of Michigan study has found that older couples are more likely to divorce when the wife gets sick.
Hoping to learn how heart disease, cancer, stroke and other diseases impact relationships, UMich researchers analyzed data on 2,717 married couples. It appears that every couple in the study was heterosexual, and at least one of the spouses in each marriage was over 50. It was found that 31 percent of the marriages ended in divorce. Even more sobering was the finding that even though the men were more likely to get sick than their wives, the marriages at highest risk for divorce were those in which the female partner fell seriously ill. Keep reading »