Tag Archives: marriage

Life After Dating: First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes … None Of Your Business

Life After Dating: First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes ... None Of Your Business

Being the youngest in a large family has its advantages: My siblings provided plenty of grandchildren already, so there’s no pressure on me to make more. (Christmas presents are expensive, y’all.) My family has also known since I was 19 — when I fainted while watching my older sister have a sonogram because it grossed me out so much — that I’m not sure this childbirth thing is for me. So, even after being married for 10 months now, no one in my family has broached the subject of bringing a Bogdanovs-Wakeman into the world.

That being said, minding-one’s-own-beeswax doesn’t hold true with outsiders — as I found out this weekend when a trip to the laundromat turned into more than I’d bargained for. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: My Boobs Are Not A Threat To Your Marriage

Frisky Rant: My Boobs Are Not A Threat To Your Marriage

Recently blogger Lauren of Apples and Band-Aids caused an uproar among bloggers when she wrote a post claiming that racy social media images by sexy female strangers were a threat to her marriage. To wit:

When your bare shoulders and stretchmark-less bellies and tanned legs pop up, I not only worry if my husband will linger over your picture. I worry how he will compare me to you.

As I wrap myself into his arms at night, I wonder if he is seeing you there instead of my mess of a body left over from pregnancy. I wonder if he thinks I’m lazy and that I don’t take good care of myself. I wonder if he wishes I looked more like you than who I really am.

And then the insecurity monster comes back to bite at our relationship again … me, begging for affirmation, and him tiring from saying the same thing over and over.

Keep reading »

Newsflash: Divorce Doesn’t Always Work Out Well For Women

Disclose Your Divorce
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... and other facts you should be open about on your online dating profile. Read More »
Let's Talk Divorce
Should marriage be a renewable contract? Read More »
Housework & Divorce
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Wait, what? Housework equality can lead to a higher divorce rate. Read More »
Newsflash: Divorce Doesn't Always Work Out Well For Women

So here’s a thing that is making my eye twitch: There is a (fringe) group of people — mostly men — who believe that divorce is, basically, a feminist conspiracy meant not to empower women to live autonomous lives (y’know, the whole “pursuit of happiness” thing) but to allow women to destroy men’s lives.

This is largely a product of the Red Pill community. For the vast numbers of people who live in blessed ignorance of Red Pill, it’s a group of people (again, mostly men) who believe that they’ve “taken the red pill” (à la “The Matrix”) and embraced the painful reality that our society is increasingly being set up to disadvantage men. Not that this is an actual reality: They believe that “involuntary celibacy” exists, i.e. they are having celibacy forced on them; they are disadvantaged for being virgins; their entire identity is wrapped up in having or not having sex. They’re the notorious believers in pick-up artistry, a concept that posits that since all women are brainless automatons, there’s a magical formula of actions and behaviors you can adopt to manipulate women into sleeping with you. They’re so obsessed with false rape accusations that they practically never actually validate the fact that women in America are raped (and then, if she was, of course, she probably deserved it). They buy into the “alpha/beta” social theory (because humans are dogs!). They talk about women in terms of monetary value. They believe they are buying their “partners.”

And they hate divorce, because in the Red Pill community’s minds divorce is a system set up to allow women to vacuum money out of men’s bank accounts and steal children away from their fathers. They believe men should be able to divorce women for even spurious reasons, but women should be shamed for getting divorced (by the way, read all of these links at the risk of your sanity). Keep reading »

It’s Time To Cry: Bride’s Favorite Mascot Walks Her Down The Aisle After She Loses Her Father

Bride And Mascot
So Sweet

When Jennifer Sullivan unexpectedly lost her father to a heart attack six months before her wedding, she brought in her favorite mascot to walk her down the aisle. “I knew that I would be thinking about him the entire time,” Sullivan told WSVN News. “I knew I needed to do something really special to take my mind off of it and make the moment as lighthearted as possible.” Sullivan is a hardcore University of Miami fan, and a former employee of the school’s athletics department. Sebastian, the Miami Hurricanes mascot, was all too happy to step in on her special day, wearing a jersey with her late father’s nickname, Big Walt, on the back. It couldn’t have been a more fitting tribute. [CosmopolitanWSVN News]

Life After Dating: When Your Partner Is Unemployed

life after dating unemployed

Growing up, my parents were able to provide a stable middle-class upbringing for me, my three sisters and my brother. I can understand now how fortunate we were not to worry about hunger, housing, or medical bills. Although my Mom made a point to show us how privileged we were  — I’m from Fairfield County, Connecticut, where the “wealth gap” between rich and poor is top in the nation — I lived securely inside a wealthy suburban bubble in the booming ’90s. As I graduated from high school, went to college and began my working life, I still managed to have financial security, even when the economy tanked in 2008. Some friends, recent college graduates like myself, lost their jobs or just plain could not get hired. But me, I still got to stay inside a safe little bubble.

Then I did something that probably didn’t make sense to some people, especially those from the background that I come from: I married someone who was unemployed Keep reading »

In Hong Kong, You Can Realize Your Dream Of Getting Married At McDonald’s

Getting married at McDonald’s would have been my wildest dream around age five. Apparently some couples in Hong Kong never let go of that dream and are actually getting married with Ronald McDonald as a witness.

The wedding program at Hong Kong McDonald’s locations has become so popular that the website has a special page for nuptial planning, complete with golden arches shaped into a heart. It reads, “Thinking about throwing a really special party for your wedding, engagement, anniversary or bridal shower? Think McDonald’s.” Keep reading »

Study: Maybe Millennials Aren’t Into The Whole Marriage And Babies Thing

single woman cat

Millennials aren’t exactly lining up to tie the knot, according to a new report from the Pew Research Center.

Researchers asked people of every generation whether they believe society is better off if people prioritize marriage and children. Of all the participants combined, 46 percent said society would be better off, while 50 percent thought society will do just as well if people have priorities other than marriage and babymaking (the remaining participants were either undecided or refused to respond). But what is especially notable here is that among 18- to 29-year-olds,  only 29 percent said society would be better off with marriage and kids at the forefront. Keep reading »

Life After Dating: Marriage Has Changed My Relationship To Feminism — And That’s OK

LAD feminism

My husband and I met  and got married all within five months. Kale had been visiting from Australia on a year-long tourist visa when we fell in love. Marrying not only kept us together, but launched us into a lifetime side-by-side. It didn’t really feel like a choice or a decision; it was obvious to both of us what we were going to do. And that means that I put just about zero forethought into what our marriage would “mean” for me as a woman or for us as a couple.

I’d thought about marriage long before I got married, sure. As a little girl I played house, pretending to be married to my teddy bear (his name is Gregory and I still have him). I had a serious relationship in my 20s with a man — Ex-Mr. Jessica — who I’d thought I would marry and have children with. While dating Ex-Mr. J, most of my thinking had been around the work/career balance and justifying to myself how I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, if possible, for a time. However, I hadn’t put too much thought into how the day-to-day drudgery of marriage would go. It seemed so far off. Keep reading »

Study: Office Sexism Starts In The Guy’s Marriage

Study: Office Sexism Starts In The Guy's Marriage

According to new research by the University of North Carolina, men with stay-at-home wives are more likely to have a negative outlook on women in the workforce. Five studies were carried out on almost 1,000 married heterosexual men, and even with the use of varying types of research methods and samples, results were grimly consistent. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: Please Stop Bragging About Your Husband On Facebook

Frisky Rant: Please Stop Bragging About Your Husband On Facebook

When women brag on Facebook about having the “best hubby in the world,” I want to buy advance tickets and popcorn to their inevitable divorce. If you really and truly love your husband and you’re actually that happy, why do you need to show off? Is Facebook your own personal delusion billboard?

Like when did husbanding (as opposed to husbandry, something else entirely) become a competition in which your husband is suddenly The Greatest Of All Husbands simply because he exchanged paper money for shiny baubles or, I don’t know, fixed the shower head? And why do you need to send out a massive brag to your “friends”? If it’s such a big deal, can’t you just tell them over the phone or in person? Keep reading »

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