Even in the throes of her video-making, bong-throwing, wig-wearing, Twitter insulting breakdown, somebody still wants to marry Amanda Bynes. Melissa the Great (aka The Love Vault) of Tilicum, Washington, posted an impassioned Craigslist ad proposing her hand in “gay marriage” to Amanda:
“I have seen you since I was a young folk in high school 9th Grade, 10th Grade, you took me away with your show. You are so deep and you allowed me to feel things about myself, like how I can talk to myself and answer myself. Its a road less traveled dear Amanda but you pulled it off and allowed me to relax to be who I was — a costume loving, creative goofball with a camera just like you!!
Amanda I would take your hand in gay marriage, but lets not be so fast with our approach. Nothing breaks my heart worse than the shattering glass of the bong from way up high… and you, to me, are way up high! Pieces of the bong scattered like pieces of my heart, And I want you to help me pick them up!! … I want to move you here to my house Amanda Bynes. I got half an acre we can buy dogs, horses, whatever. I want to take you every where like a young girl takes a raggedy ann…You can fly over, I got a dad, a good dad and we can share him if you do not have a father figure.”
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National Proposal Day — a made up holiday encouraging boyfriends and girlfriends everywhere to stop getting the milk for free and actually buy the horse or whatever. Created by somebody named John Michael O’Loughlin, “Proposal Day is not meant to be used to propose marriage to a person you don’t know very well,” he cautions. “In fact, the relationship should be so close, long-standing, and emotionally intimate that your marriage proposal will not be a total shock to the person being proposed to — it’ll feel like a natural progression of the relationship to them!”
Phewwwwwww...I’m glad we cleared that up.
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Here are seven signs your boyfriend will not be popping the question anytime soon:
1. No introductions. He has not introduced you to hisfamily members and you have been dating for over a year.
2. No planning.
He does not include you in his future plans (such as work, where he is moving, his travel
3. Silence. He doesn’t talk about marriage or having a family at all. Read more…
If you want advice on how to propose, gentlemen, this is how to do it: a lovely walk at twilight (nature’s perfect lighting!), solemnly down on one knee, in private. The fact that a photographer just happened to secretly spot the proposal in an Austin, Texas, park just makes it all the more beautiful. What a lucky couple that one of the most romantic moments of their lives was captured like this. [Laughing Squid]
Drew met Chelsea when his band, Drew and the Medicinal Pen, came through Perth, Australia. Chelsea wasn’t supposed to be working that night, and she had just broken up with a long-term boyfriend that day, but the connection between the two was clear. After years of writing letters and swapping tapes, Chelsea moved to Brooklyn to be with Drew. And earlier this summer, Drew risked death to write a graffiti proposal to Chelsea on a billboard overlooking the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. To find out what she said, and how it all went down, you need to listen to New York Stories’ awesome radio tale. [Mary E. Harris]
This is the perfect marriage proposal for a taco lover. Is that pork and shrimp in there? And hopefully a ring? All you have to do is take a bite if your answer is yes. Oh, and it’s probably best to propose when she’s hungry. [Neatorama]
If my marriage proposal involved video games in any way, I would cry tears of despair. This chick, April, however, cried tears of joy when her boyfriend proposed to her after decking out their apartment like a Super Mario Brothers game. (This video is a year old, but sorry, it’s adorable!) Maybe when April gets knocked up her hubby can get her a Super Mario Brothers nursery, too. [SayOMG.com] Keep reading »