Over the summer, I had a first date with an attractive, smart guy who emailed me over an online dating site. C— was Harvard-educated, a lawyer, and a dead ringer for the actor Terrance Howard (i.e. super hot). We had a lovely conversation and was a total gentleman until the end of the date: he paid for our drinks, walked me to the train, and kissed me on the lips before telling me he wanted to see me again soon.
I texted him the next day to say “thank you for drinks!” I never heard back. Not a single peep. I got “ghosted.”
Well, I never heard back for three months, anyway. One afternoon, I randomly received this text message from C—:
Hey Jess, it’s C—. I don’t have a great excuse for why I fell off the planet. I got really busy and things got messy with an ex that I didn’t want to be bothered with while pursuing something new. If you are still interested, I’d like to see you. Keep reading »
The Internets are all aflutter this week after a few emails a British woman named Carolyn Bourne sent to her future daughter-in-law Heidi Withers went viral. The crux of the emails? Withers apparently visited Bourne’s home with her fiance Freddie and the visit went terribly awry, so Bourne took it upon herself to write Withers a scathing message, counting all the ways in which her behavior was inappropriate, rude or uncouth. Now the world has pegged Bourne as the worst mother-in-law ever, and there’s no doubt that her own letter to Withers ironically lacked compassion, kindness and empathy. But! I happen to agree with pretty much every thing Bourne has to say about manners.
Check out her letter after the jump. Keep reading »
Perfectly good sex can be ruined by really bad manners. There is an unwritten code of sex conduct. Follow it, and your partner will likely be a repeat customer. Break it, and you may screw the likelihood of boning again. After the jump, some examples of bad manners in the bedroom that will get you kicked to the curb. Keep reading »
Karma’s a bitch, dude. This morning, I was frolicking through Starbucks, smiling to myself about how awesome my life has gotten. On Friday, I’m moving out of my parents’ house and into my own apartment. Today I woke up next to my new Gentleman Caller the night after we decided to date each other exclusively. The sun is shining. The birds were trilling. Tra la la la la la la!
And then I ran into the woman whose ex-boyfriend cheated on her with me two years ago. A woman who didn’t respond to my multiple apologetic emails because, let’s be honest, she probably hates my putrid guts. Keep reading »
Most of us would like to think that if we saw a pregnant, elderly or handicapped person on the train or subway, we would offer up our seat in a jiffy. But a nifty social experiment done on the New York City subway by Elizabeth Carey Smith of Brooklyn, New York, during her recent pregnancy found that while she was offered a seat the majority of the time, good manners were not guaranteed. Keep reading »
It’s Women’s History Month, sisters, but you wouldn’t know it based on one women’s group’s plans. The Network of Enlightened Women, a conservative group, is hosting its annual Gentleman’s Showcase on college campuses during the month of March. The Gentleman’s Showcase seeks to honor young men who “behave like gentlemen” based on a set of criteria — both general and specific — explained on NEW’s web site. Young men have been nominated in the past by women because they carried groceries, shoveled snow, opened doors and other so-called “gentlemanly” behavior. There is no prize, per se, but the accolades of conservative women everywhere!
While I don’t know why NEW has to co-opt Women’s History Month for their Gentleman’s Showcase, nor do I agree that traditional gender roles should be enforced on anyone, I don’t inherently think the idea of positively acknowledging “nice guys” on college campuses is a terrible idea. Keep reading »
My freshman year of college, I went on a date with a guy to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan. It was the kind of place with a white tablecloth, where a busboy scraped the crumbs off the table with a comb once your plates were removed and the maitre’d pulled out women’s chairs for them. That’s where I made my big statement: the maitre’d pulled out a chair for me and I walked around to the other chair, pulled it out for myself and sat down. I wasn’t just being rude; I thought I was making a point about how I — and by extension all women — didn’t need to be treated with chivalry. Keep reading »
Ah, Thanksgiving. When you’re a kid it’s all about the mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. When you’re an adult, it’s all about rude inquisitions from your nosy aunts and your dad getting horrifically, embarassingly wasted. I don’t know anything about stuffing a bird or making a perfect cranberry sauce. But I do know a thing or two about dealing with family, seeing as I have a huge, colorful one. Gather ’round, children, and take in my wisdom from awkward family holidays past! (Also, I’m a full-blooded WASP, so take my stiff-upper-lip swamp Yankee suggestions with a grain of salt. Maybe in other parts of the country, you solve problems differently!) Keep reading »
Teacher Cord Ivanyi, a Latin instructor at Gilbert Classical Academy, was tired of seeing boys physically push aside girls as they rushed through the classroom door. So at the beginning of this school year, Ivanyi told his students the new classroom rules about chivalry: boys would hold doors for girls; boys would ask girls if they would like to be seated; boys would offer to take girls’ backpacks before they sit down; boys would stand if a girl leaves the room; and girls would be served first if food is in the classroom.
“All boys will understand chivalry,” Ivanyi told The Arizona Republic. “It’s teaching them social grace. It’s things they should know when they do go out on dates.” All the students, boys and girls, were reportedly awkward about the mandated chivalry at first. But Ivanyi, as well as girls quoted by various media outlets, say girls seem to be enjoying the chivalry and some chivalrous behavior is even extending beyond the classroom.
Mandated chivalry may be a well-intentioned idea. And it may well have taught some kids to be conscious of the basic concept of good manners, which is to be considerate of others’ well-being. But mandating chivalry in the classroom could not be a more misguided set of rules. Keep reading »
Thanksgiving is a time to spend with family and friends. Sometimes this family event may have an unexpected guest: a cute, single guy. When such a treat comes your way, seize the moment in a feminine, ladylike fashion.
Seating. Right away, you will want to be seated next to this hottie; however, this is a bad idea. A major part of flirting is conversation and body language. Both of these are difficult to display if you’re sitting side by side. Try positioning yourself across from him for the best effect.
Introductions. If introductions have not been made before reaching the table, take this as an opportunity to place yourself on his radar. Before you take your seat, introduce yourself and offer him your hand to shake. When he shakes your hand, hold his gaze and smile. You should disengage from the handshake first so you don’t come on too strong (a girl who won’t let go is creepy). Glance down as you take your seat, then back up again at him with a slight smile on your lips and in your eyes. Keep reading »