What’s the kindest thing you can do for someone who’s getting married? Keep your mouth shut. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. If you’re asked for advice? Give it, judiciously. If you’re not? Please, please, please for the love of cummerbunds, hold your tongue. That goes for anyone, whether we’re talking parents of the happy couple or third cousins or that drunk dude at the bar.
When Patrick and I planned our wedding, which I will always remember fondly as being one of the most stressful times in my life, we were blessed with hands-off families and beer-in-hand friends who took their roles as sounding boards very seriously. The strangers, really, were the ones who gave us the most grief — the guy at the pub who wanted to know when we were having kids, the florist who couldn’t imagine a world without corsages, the saleswoman who told me I wouldn’t feel like a princess in a tea-length wedding dress.
What I wish I’d had then, and what I’m giving y’all now, is a handy list of phrases to keep in your back pocket for those moments when you’re so floored by a suggestion or bit of (bad) advice that you’re tempted to take it just to shut someone up. They’re all wedding-focused, of course, but I like to think they’ll work for anyone on the receiving end of a busybody’s interest. Keep reading »
Shane Snow of the start-up Contently tackles the age-old question of how to properly greet a female colleague over at Medium yesterday, inspiring lively debate on the topic of hugs versus handshakes. Which is the least creepy, least offensive, most effective way to convey conviviality and mutual respect? A brief survey of The Frisky staff proved that neither is appropriate. Handshakes are stilted, formal affairs, appropriate only for job interviews. Hugs are more nebulous, usually based on a split second decision — the impulse to hug is a signal, a current present in the space between two people. The panic in this piece is palpable. Shane, let me help you. Let me save you from the “toilet of anxiety” into which you are spiraling. After the jump, find eight wonderful non-verbal options to greet women when a hug or a handshake just won’t do. Keep reading »
Maybe it’s because I’m a Virgo, or because I’m a hundred years old, or both, but seriously? People have zero manners or respect anymore. There are the people who don’t understand “quiet voice,” the jerks at the coffee shop who never say thank you, the asshats who insist on making other people clean up after them. These people are terrible. You don’t want to be these people, right? Good. That’s why we’ve assembled 24 easy-to-remember tips to ensure that you’re part of the solution and not part of the problem.
Click through to read.
Keep reading »
Okay, I’m pretty sure that the UK’s Daily Mail just makes shit up. But I am fairly sure that chivalry died one morning a month ago, when a man shoved me out of the way at the subway station to run up the stairs ahead of me. So even if this Daily Mail piece claiming “research” suggests women are suspicious of chivalrous men because our manners have coarsened so much is bullshit, I’m included to believe there’s an element of truth to it. Keep reading »
A few weeks ago, I had to have an awkward conversation with O’Boyfriend about appropriate versus inappropriate times to grab my butt, or as the Irish call it, my “bum.”
“I like it when you grab my butt in bed, cuddling or playful moments that feels like foreplay,” I told him. “I don’t like it when you do it at completely unsexy moments, like when I’m covering up a pimple or flossing my teeth. Then it’s just weird and awkward and annoying.”
He seemed to get the point. Playful bum-grabbing: good. Annoying bum-grabbing: bad.
If only this poor woman who wrote Dear Prudence about her boyfriend’s face-licking problem was as lucky! Keep reading »
We’ve all been in that situation: you’re having a conversation with someone, ask an innocent question, and the next thing you know, everyone either thinks you’re an idiot or a jerk. Well, not only are you not alone, but Reddit is here to make you feel infinitely better about yourself as a human being. Thanks to Reddit’s thread on socially unacceptable questions, you’ll be able to breath a sigh of relief knowing that you haven’t pondered half of these things. But maybe you have! So in that case, congratulations, you’re one among many.
Here are 14 questions people are scared to ask in a social setting. Enter at your own risk. Read more…
Update: 4p.m. Well, that was quick. State Senator
Mary Marty Golden’s website has canceled the event. I guess you’ll have to learn your feminine wiles elsewhere. [New York Observer]
Please tell me this is a joke. This is a joke, right?
The office of a Republican politician in Brooklyn, New York, will be offering a class for women in his district about “Posture, Deportment, and Feminine Presence.” Ostensibly this is a career development event about etiquette, but the packaging is really, really WTF. Keep reading »
On Friday night, I had an online date that really fizzled. Everything was going just fine over chips and guac until he majorly stuck his foot in his mouth. He started talking about his ex-girlfriends (always a red flag!) and mentioned that several were depressed. He ended up giving much more than he got back in these relationships, he said. Women with depression are way too needy. He won’t date one again.
Well then, I thought to myself. I guess we should just get the check! I tried to be polite about what he was telling me. I suggested perhaps women with depression are attractive to him in some way, seeing how the pattern has repeated itself many times. I said that people with mental illness need to take care of themselves first, not be taken care of by anyone else, and maybe he might want to look into why he dates women who turn out to be “needy.” And then when I shared with him that I, actually, have had depression for years, he got very uncomfortable and embarrassed. Keep reading »
All I wanted to do on Sunday was get a mani/pedi so my nails didn’t look so chipped and busted. Kicking back with a crinkled copy of Allure while Top 40 radio blares overhead is the closet thing modern women have to bliss. But instead of being a zen experience, my local nail salon was railroaded by a horribly rude woman causing drama. Rude Woman apparently needed to have ONLY non-scented lotion used on her skin. Yet, despite it apparently being so important, she didn’t bring any of her own along with her.
Instead, Rude Woman got really snotty with all the employees about whether their lotion was scented or non-scented; she repeatedly talked down to them about whether they had it and why they didn’t. The way Rude Woman was talking — loud, accusatory — seemed to imply these nail salon folks either didn’t understand a lick of English (not true) or were intentionally trying to ruin her day. Other customers and I kept making eye contact during her repeated rants, like, “Can you believe this woman?”
Look. I’m sympathetic to her frustration, sort of. A lot of nail salons will say anything to you to get you to use their services — my favorite is saying it will just be a five minute wait when it is really more like 20. But Rude Woman was just plain condescending. I was embarrassed for her. I was embarrassed for the employees.
So, Rude Woman, I hope you don’t read The Frisky. But just in case you do, I’ve penned a handy, dandy guide about how not to be awful at the nail salon. Keep reading »
His teeny little profile picture was cute. He was the right age range and city. But when I opened the online dating message from this random dude, this is what he said:
Isn’t feminism a little obsolete? Men and women are equal nowadays. In fact, the balance is tipped in your favor.
Of all the things for a man to comment upon in my profile, he chose to kinda-insulted me by calling my belief system “obsolete”? I rolled my eyes. I hit delete. Another one bites the dust.
I’d been “negged.” Keep reading »