We’d like to think we’re bra burning feminists that would be repulsed by songs that refer to a woman’s body parts or her sensual essence, but we’re not. In fact, we’re not even ashamed to admit that sometimes clever lyrics or a banging beat or melody trump our feminist ideals, especially in the club. So we put together a list of songs that objectify women, but are totally on playlists in our iPods. Don’t get mad that we’re not disgusted by these songs, just sit back and let the music move you.

For most, the onset of puberty is coupled with an obsession with sex. From that point on, it’s all about the V-Card. How are you gonna lose it? Who will be your lucky swiper? When and where will it happen? My personal experience involved my high school boyfriend’s bed, some candles, and Dave Matthews playing in the background. For others, it’s a tree in the woods, a pool table at a frat party, the bathroom of a pizza parlor. Clearly, the cherry-popping event inspires. In that spirit, we’ve got 10 songs about losing it. 

We’ve all been through a breakup at some point, and oftentimes, there’s one song that gets you through the crying spells or fits of anger. Since listening to a sappy, sad “Take Me Back” song is not productive, we’ve compiled a list of 15 breakup songs that actually empower women. And contrary to intern Leigh’s advice on How To Save Face During A Breakup, only one threatens violence. We even have a classic told from the perspective of a man being kicked out. Tell us your favorite breakup songs in the comments section.

The music industry is dominated by men, so it’s no wonder there’s about 10 bazillion songs all about wiener and not so many about vagina. But I found 11 amazing songs that truly spew pure poetry about patsy, yoni, punani, dew flaps, sugar basin, jam cookie, or whatever else you wanna call it.

This is by no means the end all, be all list of sexually-charged food metaphors in popular music, but it is a list of our favorites. Please add any others you can think of in the comments! So, anyone hungry for, say, some hot peas and butter?

10. “B-Boy, where the f**k you at?/I been looking for your ass since a quarter past/Hot peas and butter, baby, come and get your supper/Before I make you suffer/That’s when you had enough/Can I get hot when you hit the jackpot?/Surely I can, if you the man/I get loose and produce large amounts of juice.” – “Keep On Keepin’ On”, MC Lyte

Yesterday we were cheering on our flat-chested sisters for refusing to go under the knife, but we didn’t want you to think we were worshipping at the alter of thin either. Like The Music Nerd in yesterday’s “Thoughts From Guys On Our IM”, having a little junk in the trunk, as the rappers would say, is something to celebrate too. Even small-buseted Cameron Diaz recently said, “I want a big bum!” Oh, and speaking of rappers, hip-hop has been, uh, enthusiastically celebrating the rear end since it’s first beat—that’s why we’ve compiled this list of song lyrics about big booty shakin’. But not to be showed up, a few rock bands and a old-timey band leader (below) make an appearance as well.

10. “Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your mouth/Blowing down the backroads headin’ south/Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth/You’re an idiot, babe/It’s a wonder that you still know how to breathe.”—Bob Dylan, “Idiot Wind”

Girls making out, faux lesbianism, Girls Gone Wild spectacles are kind of de rigeur it seems like, but it’s harder than you’d think to find actual songs about girls hooking up that aren’t written by lesbian musicians like The Indigo Girls. I delved deep into the interweb in search of the most salacious lyrics about ladies being hot for other ladies. The top five starts off with:

5. “I kissed a girl/Her lips were sweet/She was just like kissing me/Kissed a girl won’t change the world/But I’m so glad/I kissed a girl!”—Jill Sobule, “Kissed A Girl”
Was this pre-Girls Gone Wild? I’m not sure, but either way, the song is rather carefree and fun, though I swear I cannot tell Jill from her mid-90s counterparts Tracy Bonham and Joan Osbourne. Anyway, is kissing a girl really like making out with yourself? I don’t think so. My one experience kissing a girl was terrible though, so what do I know?

5. “My man gives real loving that’s why I call him Killer/He’s not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, he’s a thriller/He takes his time and does everything right/Knocks me out with one shot for the rest of the night/He’s a real smooth brother, never in a rush/And he gives me goose pimples with every single touch”—Salt ‘N’ Pepa featuring En Vogue, “Whatta Man”, Very Necessary
This is, like, the ultimate man objectification song. Remember how awesome the video was, with Pepa in the bathtub? I wish Salt could get it together so there could be a real reunion.