Something no one tells you about sex? A good romp in the sack can be dangerous. No, I’m not talking about potentially deadly sexually transmitted diseases and infections, like HIV. (Although those are dangerous too, obviously.) I’m talking about the rug burn, pulled hair, and the overzealous nipple bite (ow!) that every woman needs to watch out for. And no, a hickey doesn’t count as an “injury.” Keep reading »
For all the sex positive writing that I do, I’d never actually talked with someone who worked in the adult entertainment industry for a living. Like a lot of people, I just assumed they all were failed actresses and cokeheads.
That was unfair of me.
Over the summer, I met up with Ryan Keely, an adult film star, Penthouse Pet and Penthouse advice columnist, and an erotic dancer. Ryan, who is originally from Seattle, is as smart as she is beautiful; it’s clear from spending time with her that her heart lies in bringing the joy of sexuality and sensuality to others. Recently, Ryan has been teaching seminars for Porn Star Sex Life, co-founded with Josh Rosenberg, a pick-up artist who created UpYourAttraction.com. I was a little skeptical, too, of Porn Star Sex Life classes. Generally speaking, I think porn gives us stupid role models. The actors and actresses fake great sex and know how to make it look really awesome on screen. Why would we want to emulate that? But Ryan is an approachable educator: she’s had a lot of sex with a lot of partners, both men and women, both onscreen and off, and she is ashamed of nothing. “What it takes to be a porn star is you want to explore your sexuality,” she told me. “The people that are in this industry for the right reasons are people are want to take sex to the next level. We’re sexual athletes.”
I walked away from an afternoon of cake and milk with Ryan thinking, “Damn, I want this girl to be my best friend and I want to sleep with her.” After the jump, Ryan opens up about why missionary is the best sex position for women, her stance on sex positive feminism, why she hates KY Jelly, and her one-woman campaign to bust sexual taboos! Keep reading »
I once asked a sex shop proprietress for the best sex advice she could give to couples and she immediately waxed poetic about lube. Her arguments were so compelling, it made me wonder how anyone ever has sex without some lubricant at their bedside.
Venturing into yet another sex shop, Babeland, I then drilled the store clerk about the best lubes — for any bedroom. She sent me home with some advice and three of the best lubes in Babeland. Read more … Keep reading »
I had to stare at this lube ad (see a larger version here) for a long time before I FINALLY understood it. So, this chick, her pooper hurts so bad from unlubed action that she can’t/won’t sit down, despite there being tons of available seats. As well as being gross, this ad is just way too subtle to be effective. One of my coworkers even thought it was potentially selling lube to rapists, since the perspective is creepy and voyeuristic. [Copyranter] Keep reading »
A letter in this week’s Time Out New York’s sex column, Get Naked, reminded me that sometimes it’s the simplest things that can boggle a mind. A woman writes to columnist Jamie Bufalino:
I like dry sex with my husband, but it only happens a few times per month. I assume hormones are at work, but is there anything I can do to sustain this? Dehydration? I just feel so much more when everything is dry and not ruined by wetness.
At first, I thought, Oh, she likes dry humping with her husband … like they’re a couple of teenagers … that’s kinda cute, I guess … But I continued reading and realized, Oh she means actual dry sex, like with a dry vagina. Um, ew! I’ve never heard of this, have you? I mean, as far as fetishes or sexual preferences, or whatever, go, it’s decidedly tame, but, still, a dry vagina? Really? I mean, wouldn’t that feel … horrible? Bufalino isn’t even a woman and he thinks so — his response to the letter writer after the jump. Keep reading »
If you go through a bottle of lube like it’s going out of style, might want to check out Astroglide’s video contest for its new product, “Natural.” Simply upload a video response to the question, “How do you go green in the bedroom?” Uh, soy candles? Recycled, biodegradable, edible body paint? The grand prize winner will receive baskets and baskets of Astroglide lube! What you always wanted, right? [Astroglide.com
] Keep reading »