Put down the self-help books, singletons looking for love. Unsubscribe to Dear Abby. Tell Steve Harvey to slow his roll. I have all the relationship advice you’ll ever need. Go get a pen, and write this down: quit trying.
I don’t mean quit dating, or quit looking for people to spend your life with. I mean that once you bang someone or date them and it feels weird, or they do something that kind of irks you or they’re not treating you how you want to be treated, stop dating that person. If you think communicating with them is more awkward or intimidating than you’d like it to be, or they won’t give you what you reasonably like in bed, or if they make you think you need to look, act or dress differently, stop dating that person.
Stop dating that person immediately and move on to the next person. Keep reading »
Whether he’s the one can’t be known, argued twice-married writer, Christopher Hitchens. Hitchens passed away this week at the age of 62.
There are some lessons that can’t be transmitted down the generations, and the most conspicuous of these is the choice of your life partner.
There’s no damn heritability. In fact, this is a case where you can’t even profit by other people’s mistakes. Which of us has not seen a friend whose parents didn’t get along make the very same blunder? Which of us has not seen a person from a happy family ignore her mother’s fine example? Which of us has not known a couple, contentedly living in sin, fly apart as soon as they tie the legal knot? All I have learned, from absorbing moisture on both shoulders, is that what you find out about others is almost never what you would have expected. And as for yourself… Keep reading »
Whether your summer breakup still stings, your fall heartbreak feels fresh, or your holiday heartache has yet to happen, one thing’s for sure. The holiday season is here and dealing with a broken heart can be especially tough during these “feel good” months. After all, there are holiday gatherings to attend, mistletoe to stand under (GASP – alone!), and happy couples cozying up to one another wherever you turn.
Even with your broken heart, you can still enjoy the holidays this year. Here are some tried and true tips for surviving and thriving the holiday season following a breakup. Read more…
“Don’t look at other couples and think they have it all together while you and your mate don’t. That’ll just make you feel bad about your relationship and drag you down. Those smiling people who look like they have it all do have it all — including problems. You just have no idea what they are. And don’t look at individuals you’re not with and think you could have a better relationship with them. It’s easy to fantasize that the sexy acquaintance with whom you have a buzzy rapport with would make a hot, fun, trouble-free girlfriend, but she’s just someone whose problems you don’t know yet. Love the one you’re with, and work through the problems you know.”
I am not married (obvs), but I found TIME‘s “How To Get And Stay Married,” written by journalist/novelist Toure, to be wonderfully sane and wise advice for all couples, regardless of their matrimonial status. Check out the other four tips in the piece at the link. [TIME]
Around this time of year, a lot of single people start complaining about the fact that they’re single and don’t have anyone special to exchange presents with or kiss when the ball drops. But single people should stop being sad and start exercising the wonderful opportunity they have for picking up dates during the holiday season! Or so says Joseph Matthews, the author The Art of Approaching, who specializes in teaching men how to meet the women of their dreams. He has some ideas for doing that during the holidays, and we don’t think they’re guy exclusive, so let’s take a look… Keep reading »
After spending more than a decade writing about relationships and yacking about them on the radio, I’ve decided to try and make money doing something I’ve been doing for friends for years: writing and editing online dating profiles! Keep reading »
If a guy doesn’t check you out on Facebook before your first date, he definitely will afterwards. While your profile and posting habits aren’t a be-all end-all, they can push a man who’s teetering toward calling it quits. After polling several men, we found six common Facebook faux pas that will cause a dude to re-evaluate the relationship and redirect his affection elsewhere.
1. You bash your ex. Relegate all man-hating to girls-only nights. Comments about ex-boyfriends and bad dates make you look petty, immature and hung up the past. Plus, guys simply hate whiners. Keep reading »
“Does he call you less than when you first started dating?” “Does he make an effort to get to know you?” “When you think of him, do you smile or want to grab the vodka?”
I’m being bombarded with questions about the guy I’m currently seeing — important ones that I should be answering honestly — but they’re not coming from my best friend (or my mom, who’s always been my own personal relationship guru). They’re being fired at me in quick succession from my iPhone. Keep reading »
We aren’t psychic: there’s no absolute way to predict whether a first date will lead to a second. But if any of the following things happen on your date, the chances of seeing each other again are pretty good… Keep reading »