You call yourselves “just friends,” but you know as well as everyone else does that you’re more than that. You know where he is when he’s not with you. You spend your weekends together. You travel together. You go to Ikea together. You say “we” a lot, and all of your other friends know who “we” is.
You are dating without benefits. You are serving all of the functions of life partner for each other, without, you know, any of the good stuff — romance, commitment, and sex. (Though any of these elements might sneak in and out of the relationship on occasion, usually aided by alcohol.) You are a substitute boyfriend or girlfriend, and this, my friend, could drag on for years, especially if neither of you meets someone else — someone you can call your actual boyfriend or girlfriend. This is not great news. Keep reading »
So, the other day I was talking with a dude friend of mine who’s going through a breakup. He and I dated a zillion years ago, and remained good buddies, and we often go to one another when we’re going through current relationship traumas. Breakups are universally terrible, whether you’re a girl, a dude, or something in between. But if my dude friend — and the anonymous crap dude blogger over at XOJane – are any proof, we’re given different messages about how to process our heartbreak. Take the crap dude XOJane blogger, for instance, whose friends seem to be telling him that the best way to get over his ex is to bang a zillion anonymous girls. In sum, the most ideal way to heal your heart is to treat someone else’s like crap.
We don’t really abide by that. And we think it’s about time that we help our boy friends out by offering our own tips and tricks for getting over a breakup. Remember — being a jerk begets more jerkish behavior in the world. And nobody wants that. Keep reading »
You think he’s an idiot. He thinks you’re a nut case. You insist he doesn’t understand you. He insists you’re a nut case. You get angry and maybe even cry. He shrugs his shoulders, assumes it’s a personal problem that has nothing to do with him, and chalks all it up to you being an overly emotional irrational nut case.
Sound painfully familiar? Keep reading »
When a relationship shifts into the living-together phase, it can be difficult to maintain the exciting spark that exists in the beginning. There’s a tendency to treat each other as roommates instead of romantic partners, but a few simple tweaks to your everyday routine can help to amp up the chemistry and strengthen your bond. Worried that you might get a little toocomfortable with each other? Follow these five tips to keep the flirty, sexy vibes alive:
1. Meet after work. There’s something to be said for seeing each other across a crowded restaurant — rather than, say, getting ready together in the bathroom. Read more…
Anything worthwhile in life needs regular, positive attention. This includes relationships. If you want your most important relationships to grow and thrive, you need to care for them.
At this time of year, when the weather is warming up and we’re living in an energy of newness, try a little “spring cleaning” with these four easy tips that will bring fresh energy into any relationship. Read more…
I received over 600+ messages from men while registered with OKCupid and PlentyOfFish. I have a fair amount of horror stories, possibly enough to include in an HBO series called “Internet Dating Tales From The Crypt.” I am not saying that there aren’t a good deal of great guys looking to meet great girls online, but when you aren’t expecting to be bombarded with messages from creeps, freaks, jerks and everything in between, the online dating world can be a bit shocking — and not the sexy man popping out of a birthday cake kind, either. In any case, even my bad online dating experiences can be learned from. Afterall, creepo internet dudes can be avoided if you know what to look out for. Here are the six types of guys you should definitely steer clear of while man hunting online. Keep reading »
Hey Frisky readers! Cool news: tomorrow morning, I’m going to be a guest on Elvis Duran’s radio show giving relationship advice. I’ll be specifically talking about “spring cleaning” your relationship — and I would love to get your questions! So, are YOU thinking about spring cleaning your love life? Think it’s time to kick that bum girlfriend/boyfriend to the curb? Considering taking your ex back? Need tips on how to build the perfect online dating profile? Post your question in the comments or, if you would prefer, email me firstname.lastname@example.org (SUBJECT: Question For Elvis Duran Show) with your question and I’ll try to answer it on-air this Wednesday! (To find a station near you that broadcasts Elvis Duran’s Show, click here.)
I have been a vegetarian for almost 20 years. It’s something that is just as me as being blonde or Italian or snorting when I laugh. Really, really fortunately, my boyfriend is really supportive about it. He loves vegetarian food — he doesn’t even bring meat into our apartment. (I tell him he can!) He eats it when he is out, which gives him a nice balance. But there have definitely been people in my life who gave me a hard time, tried to change me, or tried to make me feel bad. None of those things were good ideas because I never caved. I never ate the “just one!” chicken wing. I just got … annoyed.
Food is love. It’s life — it’s so important. It can take over your relationship if you’re butting heads about your eating habits with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Don’t let it! Think about these rules. They are mine — not everyone’s. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend who doesn’t eat meat (or gluten, or orange-colored foods, or whatever), talk about it. Figure it out. Then it will never be an awkward thing or cause resentment or passive aggressiveness. Then you can dig in. Yes! Nommmnomnomnomnom… Keep reading »
I’ve talked about my often-disastrous relationships in a number of my columns, and every time I do, I get dozens of messages from people asking me to elaborate. Not that I’m an expert — it’s more like how you see a guy come screaming out of the woods covered in bees and you ask him where he found the hive, so you can avoid it.
So, the most common question I get (besides “Will you please stop sending me pictures of your penis?”) is “How do I know if this is the one?” which I think is a stealth way of asking me, “How can I avoid the hellish divorce that haunts your memories?”
Well, if you want to avoid the bees, I say you should always keep in mind … Keep reading »
Besides just giving up meat on Fridays (or pretending to when your parents ask), Lent is a great time to break bad habits. Just like the hose down Bourbon Street gets at midnight at the end of each Fat Tuesday, you too can use this as an opportunity to purge yourself of poor choices. Sure, it’s not quite the act of self-sacrifice the Pope would want from you, but it’s a change for good. And what religious figurehead wouldn’t want that? Keep reading »