Tag Archives: love tip

Ask A Married Guy: “Why Is My Boyfriend So … In-Between?”

Commitment Kryptonite?
Ask A Married Guy: "Am I Destined To Be Kryptonite For Commitment?"
Tom has advice for a woman whose relationships don't last. Read More »
Married Guy: Brazilians
ask a married guy
A reader asks: Should I get a Brazilian wax? Read More »
Married Guy: Players
Ask A Married Guy: "Did I Just Get Played By The Player-Of-All-Players?"
"Did I just get played by the player of all players?!" Read More »
Ask A Married Guy: "Why Is My Boyfriend So ... In-Between?"

I’ve been dating a guy for seven months. He’s in the middle of an easy divorce (no kids, no assets). I’m going through a divorce too (I have kids). We were head over heels for each other in the first few months. He had no issues with me having kids. He would always ask to see me, and we did tons of fun stuff together. I had a toothbrush at his house, and even had dinners with his parents. Great, right? But in the past few weeks, he’s distant, not making an effort to see me. He makes excuses about work, and when I ask him about it he says I’m overreacting, that sometimes life gets in the way and there’s nothing wrong with our relationship. I’ve been making all the effort, rearranging my schedule to spend time with him, and he doesn’t seem to appreciate it. He has a very lax, “ehhh I’ll see you when I see you” attitude. He says he’s not looking to remarry any time soon and I’m honestly not either, but there has to be an in-between phase, right? We can be in a relationship and take it easy, but I don’t get the 180-degree change in behavior. Why is he so in-between? – Danielle

It could be a lot of things. He could be dealing with a lot of pain. Maybe he’s not that into you anymore. Or he could in truth, be really busy with work and life and all that complicated stuff. But here’s the point: IT DOESN’T MATTER. His deal is his deal. Focus on yourself. Keep reading »

Ask A Married Guy: “Am I Destined To Be Kryptonite For Commitment?”

Ask A Married Guy: "Am I Destined To Be Kryptonite For Commitment?"

I am an attractive writer, divorced for almost four years. For as long as I can remember, I have never been at a loss for male attention. Since my separation, I have dated plenty of guys. But, the only guys I seem to attract who are not paralyzed by the idea of even commitment-lite are already married to someone else!

For my entire dating life, I have shied away from appearing needy, bitter, or desperate because those three qualities make my skin crawl. I have had a good number of great first dates where we seem to click on many levels. Yet, at some point, same guy will shift to texts and phone calls, evading a second or maybe third meet.

I am not ready to give up. I enjoy the company of men. And I do really want to be in a loving relationship with someone available. Especially since I had a 15 year marriage of convenience — for timing and “appropriateness” more than affection, sex, or love.

So, am I destined to be Kryptonite for commitment? Or can I change my game plan of appearing independent? – Beth

Beth, your email contains equal parts heartbreak and hope. In that order.

Commitment is the tragic ambition of all humans. We seek it constantly. We yearn for unconditional love. But when the wrong person asks it of US? Eww. Gross. Go away. Why the fuck do we do this to each other? Why do we take the risk of breaking our hearts, and those of others, over and over again, looking for this ineffable thing called commitment? Keep reading »

Ask A Married Guy: “Is Mr. Nice Just Stringing Me Along?”

Married Guy: Lies
Ask A Married Guy: "I Can't Forget That My New Boyfriend Lied To Me At The Beginning Of Our Relationship"
"I can't forget that my new BF lied at the beginning of our relationship." Read More »
Married Guy: Brazilians
ask a married guy
A reader asks: Should I get a Brazilian wax? Read More »
Married Guy: Players
Ask A Married Guy: "Did I Just Get Played By The Player-Of-All-Players?"
"Did I just get played by the player of all players?!" Read More »

This is our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email him at friskymarriedguy@gmail.com! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested.

Mr. Nice and I met in 2012. Our first date lasted 13 hours: incredible, as was every date after that. We’re both divorced: he’s 52 and I’m 46, each with two kids (his in college, mine in high school). We’ve kept the kids out of it, so neither has been to the others’ home.

About eight months in, he started to become withdrawn, calling less frequently in the evening. We were still going out several times a week (dinners, movies, etc.), but it was not the same.

I finally inquired, and he gave me this response: he moved a deceased friend’s wife and four kids into his house. The friend’s wife was going through cancer treatment, unable to work, had no family, and was on the verge of homelessness. He felt he had no option but to help. He went on to say there wasn’t anything going on between them (he volunteered info), and that he hadn’t it shared with me because he didn’t know how I would respond. He said he adored where we were relationship-wise and wanted to continue. (Eight months into dating, we weren’t having sex. Lots of heavy kissing and cuddling, even a few weekend get-aways in a shared bed, but no sex). We both agreed early on that sex complicates things and we really wanted to take it slow. Keep reading »

Ask A Married Guy: “I Can’t Forget That My New Boyfriend Lied To Me At The Beginning Of Our Relationship”

Ask A Married Guy: "I Can't Forget That My New Boyfriend Lied To Me At The Beginning Of Our Relationship"

This is our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email him at friskymarriedguy@gmail.com! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested.

I met my current boyfriend about 10 months ago. After I broke up with my last boyfriend in April, my current BF would invite me to dinners and tell me he liked me a lot, but never proposed entering into a relationship with me. Whenever I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he would get reluctant and change the topic. When I went on a trip in May, he made it clear he didn’t want me to be seeing another person. Then when I moved away for a two-month internship, he told me he loved me. Then he disappeared for a few days saying he was upset because he saw me flirting on Facebook with another guy.

I came back home and found out he had a girlfriend all this time, and that he went to Malaysia with her during his mysterious disappearance. I confronted him. He said they were almost over by the time they went on the trip and swore he didn’t have sex with her at that time. But I went through his email and found out that wasn’t true, and that he was being extremely sweet to her. But then he asked for a second chance and I gave it to him.

We have been dating for two months now, but I can’t bear the thought that he deceived me.  What should I do?

So this guy is a confessed liar and a cheat, and you wonder what I think you should do?

You should run a mile from him. And deep down, you already know that. Let’s run down the rap sheet of this confessed relationship criminal, shall we? Keep reading »

Ask A Married Guy: “Did I Just Get Played By The Player-Of-All-Players?”

Ask A Married Guy: "Did I Just Get Played By The Player-Of-All-Players?"

This is our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email him at friskymarriedguy@gmail.com! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested.

So I’ve been a friend of this good guy for over 10 years.  We’ve always had sexual tension, but I never really gave a thought to it nor did I think we were going to act on it. On a total random drunken night, we had sex.  So we decided to go on a date, and it really was no different from any other time we’ve hung out.  He said stupid things to me all night like “You’re my dream girl,” and to be honest, I loved it and had a great time.  I didn’t realized how much I actually like this guy, until one day – he just stopped calling. He’d make plans, and cancel last minute, which is unlike him. We’ve always been close, and I’ve known FOR YEARS that he is a commitment-phobe.  All the years that we’ve been friends, he’s never had a single date. Is this guy genuinely scared of me/relationships or did I just get played by the player-of-all-players? — Alisa

You did not get played. You got “manned.”

Let me tell you something about men. Their deepest, darkest fear is being trapped.  It’s constant. They fear it even when there are no traps in sight. Put a man in a wide-open emotional space, with nothing but happy meadows and tweeting birds for miles around, and he’ll still be terrified of some girl popping up yelling, “I’m pregnant and it’s yours!” Keep reading »

Your “Significant Other Is Returning From A Business Trip” Check List!

Your "Significant Other Is Returning From A Business Trip" Check List!

Those of us with significant others who travel for work often spend days and weeks at a time alone. This solitude can be wonderful — control of the TV, a bed to yourself, tons of quality “me time.” What inevitably happens to us non-traveling partners is laziness. With no one watching, you end up forgetting to do some of the basics. Never fear, your jet-setting lover never has to know! Keep reading »

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