Some say a woman should never say “I love you” first. Now, research shows that might be a good idea, seeing as it turns out guys say “I love you” first more often than women do. Want to know why? Find out! [Lemondrop]

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year. I love her, for so many reasons, and she’s very attractive (intellectually and physically). For the first six months of dating, I couldn’t think of anybody but her, and if I did start to think of anyone else, I just shut that part of me down. As soon as the six-month mark hit, though, I found myself attracted to other girls. It wasn’t just physical attraction — I’m a guy, I imagine every attractive woman I see bouncing on the end of my d**k — but the kind of attraction that, were I not with my girlfriend, would make me try to pick these girls up. And I don’t know if it bothered me because I didn’t want to be attracted to anybody but her, or if I was bothered by the fact that I wanted to flirt with these other girls — almost all of whom are part of my girlfriend’s social circle. Well, I told my girlfriend and at first she reassured me that it was normal for people to be attracted to others, even if they’re in relationships (though she’s never told me about anyone she was attracted to; what’s up with that?). But now, a year into our relationship, she’s turned a bit into that “crazy/jealous girlfriend” stereotype. At social gatherings, I can’t help but want to be around these other girls, and my girlfriend glares at me occasionally, or joins in our conversations (not rudely, but she is there). I’m open and honest with her, and tell her who I like and why. And now she just cries. What am I supposed to do? Lie? —Horn Dog

Last night I was thrown for a loop when I ran into a long-ago ex at a party that he had no business (that I could fathom) attending. I was not happy to see him. In fact, over the past ten or so years, I’ve made it a point to avoid being anywhere he might be. I haven’t been pining; he’s someone I actively avoid because he’s psychotic and I had no idea what he—or I—would do if we ever crossed paths again. I’m not a violent person, but the thought of stabbing him in the eye is not an unpleasant one.

When you’ve tracked as many laps around the block as I have, you’re bound to run into the occasional ex—even the ones you’d rather forget. As the rage disappeared along with the tequila in my glass, I got to thinking about how just the random act of running into someone can ruin, or make, your day.

Phew, we can all breathe a sigh of relief. This month Glamour magazine lets us know that guys are into us even if we aren’t perfect and that we don’t have to change ourselves for their benefit! Need convincing? They have seven wonderful reasons guys love us “just the way we are.” Check them out after the jump.

My boyfriend is still (pretty good) friends with his ex-girlfriends. Not just one of them, but a few. One in particular I have a problem with. They broke up at the end of last year after having dated for four years, and at the beginning of our relationship, he was still unsure if they should try dating again. I hung out with the two of them (plus others) before we had started dating and she gave off this super-fake vibe, so that naturally put me off. They still talk from time to time via GChat, and they’ve hung out a few times—like twice since we started dating five months ago. My problem is that she completely screwed him over on multiple occasions in their relationship, and seems to just cause drama, so I just can’t fathom why he still wants to maintain a friendship. She recently asked him to hang out soon, but he was busy until the following week and she freaked out on him.  As a girl, that screams ‘ulterior motive’ to me. As far as he and I are concerned, we’re great. We laugh often and have very open communication. So I’m secure in our relationship, but seeing as they have such a history and I’ve gotten such bad vibes from her (and his friends have expressed their dislike for her), I’m not comfortable with their hanging out. I’ve tried to explain to him how I feel, but he’s not getting it.  Do you have any suggestions as to what I could say to try to discourage it? I’m trying to be a cool girlfriend here. — CG

Reader Marianne snapped this in the library at Brooklyn College. It reads, “Sex is overrated. Love is not.”

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com.

After about 1.5 years of dating (four months of it long distance), my boyfriend, Tom, and I have decided to split so we can focus on our careers/degree. I said I was fine with seeing each other when we could and staying in each other’s lives under one condition: that he sees me in his life when he moves back to NY in a year and half. He said he wasn’t sure because, “I’ve always been bothered by who you have slept with before me.”  Tom and I are four years apart but attended the same schools growing up, and therefore have a lot of mutual friends/family friends/neighbors, etc.  One in particular is John, whom I had a relationship with and slept with when I was 16 years old. We had a dumb high school relationship that lasted all of 4 months. Five years later, John’s brother married Tom’s sister, and now Tom and John are, well, kind of related. This creeps Tom out. I was 16. It was nine years ago. I guess if Tom were once madly in love with my sister-in-law, I could see it being uncomfortable, but a random high school relationship? He told me, that for guys, learning your ex had SEX with a friend of theirs is the equivalent to how a girl feels when she finds out her ex was in LOVE with one of your friends. Is this true? Could it really be such a big deal for him? I didn’t even know Tom when I was with John! I want to make it work for us, but this is just something I can’t change. — Haunted By My Past

“I was dating a guy recently for a little over a month. Things were going great - we went on dates every weekend, occasionally hung out during the week and we had started to meet each other’s friends. We were definitely progressing towards a relationship. But suddenly, from one day to the next, he didn’t make plans to see me. I made a last effort to contact him—we talked on the phone and I let him know that I did want to see him. He had said definitely and that he would call… but, as you can guess, that was our last conversation as he never called. I am very hurt and confused. I’ve been left in the pouring rain. Why do guys disappear? Why don’t they have the decency to tell us that it isn’t working out instead of pulling the disappearing act and pretending we didn’t matter at all? Especially when things were going fantastic?” — Left in the Rain

Reader Alexis snapped this in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com.

I’m a Libra with a Cancer boyfriend. We’ve been together four years now. Currently, we’re going to college in different states a couple hours apart. The problem is, I want a chance to be single before I can consider getting married (which is definitely the path we’re headed down). The thought of talking to him about it pains me so much and I’ve been avoiding it. I love him, and I would never, EVER want to hurt him. Not to mention our lives are so intertwined, being not-completely-together would probably cause much awkwardness back home. To complicate matters, I have a Libra friend who apparently has serious feelings for me, and after a great deal of self-denial, I’ve realized I am extremely attracted to him. There’s a chemistry there that I lack with my boyfriend, BUT I think my boyfriend and I have the compatibility to one day make a great marriage. I am just nervous about settling down for life with someone I’ve been with since I was barely old enough to drive. What should I do? Risk the long-term with my boyfriend for youthful freedom, or stay committed to something that’s most likely a sure thing? —Indecisive Libra

My boyfriend and I currently rent the downstairs portion of his sisters house and she’s CRAZY so we’re wanting to move out. We had this proposition to move in with some friends of ours and I really don’t want to but he REALLY does. I don’t think it’s realistic for us to be living with other people and we need to start our independence as a couple but he’s excited because he’ll have friends around all the time and having friends is something that is really important to him and the rent would be cheaper for us. There are many pros to moving out with the friends but there are and equal amount of cons (if not more). How do I get him to see my side? —Two’s Enough

I realize it might seem a little early to start talking about the holidays, but as my local drugstore pulled out the tinsel and Santa hats before they’d even had time to put away the slutty nurse costumes and plastic pumpkins, I figured I’d get a jump on the season.

Whether you’re a sassy single lady or one-half of a love muffin; if you go home for them, holidays are a very special kind of hell. This week we’ll tackle some of the issues you might face and how you might deal with them without resorting to pie-throwing or sneaking off to the basement with the bottle of cooking sherry.

My new tall, dark and handsome boyfriend was standing across the room looking so fine in his shirt; I couldn’t take my eyes off him. It was my pal’s birthday party and the first time I had ever dragged my latest man-friend out with my buddies. I wasn’t sure how it would go, yet there he was, charming the pants off them all by himself, busting out his A-material small talk with some friends in a corner. He was doing his best to impress. It was very sexy. He was going all out for me.

Meanwhile, I was at the snack table and before I could curse myself for leaving him to go in for another cheesy cracker, I was accosted by a buddy’s wife I barely knew, a bitch named Sue. “How old is he?” she pried.

Earlier today, we shared with you OK! magazine’s report that Angelina Jolie is adopting a seventh child, this time from Syria. Behind Brad Pitt‘s back. The story has yet to be confirmed and it sounds kinda far-fetched to me, but if it does turn out to be true, it’s interesting for two reasons. First, why does Angelina think she needs to adopt the whole world? And second, adopting a kid is something you absolutely, 100 percent completely need to have your spouse’s approval on before you go and do it. Similarly, on last night’s episode of “The Hills,” Spencer went to go get a vasectomy without telling Heidi. Luckily (or unluckily), he got scared off when the doc explained the procedure.

Here are 20 things you should discuss with your partner first.

A few years before I met my long-time boyfriend, he was with a woman he met in high school. They dated for about a year and got engaged, but it didn’t last very long. She had schizophrenia and the stress caused a long list of serious problems that lead to their eventual breakup. For years after, even into the first few months of our relationship, she would leave notes and threaten suicide. She dated his friend for a while and had two abortions, and after the second one she committed suicide. This was about two years ago now, and my problem is that he still has all of her letters and notes. I found them recently in our office; I even found a few referring to a pregnancy she may or may not of actually had terminated, if she was even pregnant (she was known for having hysterical pregnancies). I don’t want to be insensitive and ask him about the notes, which I probably shouldn’t have read, but we’re thinking of getting married next fall and I feel kind of strange having all of these notes from her in our home. I know it’s up to him to be ready to get rid of her letters, but is it wrong for me to ask him to get rid of them? —Haunted

Reader Amanda sent us this deep thought-filled graffiti. When we searched the phrase to see if it was a famous quote, we found that someone else had posted a photo on Flickr of the same spray-painting in Amsterdam.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com.

I’m dating a guy I met on the internet. We have never met but we text all day, and every night we talk on the phone and so far it’s been great. He’s really nice, very attentive and we have even said ‘I love you.’ But the problem is that he is bisexual and cross-dresses a few times a month. I’m kind of confused, but at least he is honest — we have talked about it and he has tried to calm me down and explain it to me. But I’m actually scared and I don’t know if I should run or accept him for who he is, have fun with the situation, and trust that he is going to be faithful and that he really loves me, because at the end of the day he is nicer than most guys I have dated. I really don’t know what to do, and I have to decide fast because he is coming to see me soon. Should I run? Do bi guys cross-dress or is that something only gay guys do? — Internet Girlfriend

My birthday is 1/29/89 and his is 7/20/88. We’ve been dating for four months, which I know is only a short while, but I’m falling for him.  He has most of the qualities I want in a guy: goal-oriented, attractive, and smart. People have said that if a guy is not looking for anything serious, you won’t have access to his life away from you. I assume he likes me because he always invites me to his house, around his family (which is huge), his friends, and even invited me to his basketball games with his homeboys. Good signs of better things to come? However, he refuses to meet my family and only makes the effort to come to my house when no one is there.  He’s a quiet person, but does express things that he never told anyone before. He can be so passionate, wanting to spend time with me, but other times I don’t hear from him for days. Just recently, he expressed to me that he feels as though I “don’t think” about him, because I don’t call him that often. I’m not the bug-a-boo type. I know that being an Aquarius, I have the tendency of being aloof at times, but I don’t think I am wishy-washy like he is.  Hopefully, I am clear on what my problem is because, honestly, I am confused as to what to make of his actions.  What do you think?  Is this something worth holding onto?  Am I trippin’? —K-Ball

Last year I went to Italy for my best friend’s wedding and ended up sleeping with her husband’s best friend at the reception. I was sure I would never see him again, but he hunted me down the next night and ended up driving me to the airport for my departure the next morning. We connected on Facebook and wrote emails to each other regularly. I decided to return to Italy for two months, and while I was living in Florence our love affair continued and intensified. When it came time for me to leave Italy, I cried uncontrollably all the way to my connection in Paris!  When I got home I confessed my love for him via email. He responded that he also loved me but he wasn’t sure it was in the “same way.” In the year since then we email each other and he occasionally professes his love and how much he misses me, which sends me reeling. He came to visit me in August and we spent almost three weeks together in Colorado and out east. I daydream about moving back to Italy just to see if he is The One. I can’t discern my feelings for him anymore. Am I in love with him or am I in love with our romantic unreal experience? How do I really know if I love this man? — Is That Amore?

“Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person? That’s the advice I would give to women: Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn’t know. And, more important, how does he treat you? When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole. And if you’re in that relationship and you’re dating, then my advice is, don’t get married.”

— Michelle Obama speaks with Katie Couric in an interview for Glamour magazine, which just named her Woman of the Year. Single women need to print this quote, stick it to their bathroom mirror and read it every morning.