Tag Archives: lottery

The Emotional Life Cycle Of Playing The Lottery (In GIFs)

The Emotional Life Cycle Of Playing The Lottery (In GIFs)

Guess what? I didn’t win the New York Lotto AGAIN. For some reason, my family is fascinated with the Lotto. Not Vegas style gambling, just your average convenience store lottery. Since my early childhood, I remember them purchasing tickets but never winning anything significant. As an adult, I find myself getting sucked in.  I know the chances of winning are less than slim, but whenever I attempt to resist, someone says, “You’ve got to be in it to win it.”

If you have ever purchased a Mega Millions, Powerball, Sweet Millions, or state Lotto, you have experienced the following. Keep reading »

World’s Greatest Fortune Cookie Contained Winning Powerball Numbers

Apparently I have not been eating enough Chinese food. But if anything can inspire me to to starting loading up on lo mien noodles, it’s the promise of my fortune cookie bringing me actual fortune … and not just “in bed.” Keep reading »

10 Times Winning The Lottery Was A Curse

Theoretically, winning the lottery should be a wonderful thing. Who wouldn’t want $100 million in their pocket right now? But time and time again it’s been proven that all those millies can ruin even the best-intentioned, most giving, God-loving folk. And also the ones who blow their jackpot on cocaine and prostitutes. And everyone else between. Here are ten incredibly sad, more-tragic-than-Shakespeare stories where people went from gutter to glory to gutter again. Many of them went on to say (if they even survived to tell the tale), “I wish I never would have won.” Which means you there, dear reader, are one lucky sonofabitch for losing the Lottery.

Vagina Tree Predicts Winning Lotto Numbers!

I’ve never been a big fan of the lottery. I think it’s because of that Shirley Jackson short story where the “winner” gets stoned to death, which seems to be what metaphorically happens when someone suddenly comes into a lot of money. But if there were any way to know that the lotto was fixed and you were guaranteed a win, I could maybe risk those fears. Perhaps that’s why villagers in northern Thailand have been consulting the magical vagina tree for clues? Keep reading »

Female Math Professor Wins Lottery 4 Times

Texas woman Joan Ginther may just be the luckiest woman in the world. She has won the lottery four times. The chances of doing this are just one in 18 septillion. In case you (understandably) didn’t know—18 septillion is 18 with 24 zeros. And yet Ginther won $11 million in 1993, $2 million in 2006, $3 million in 2008 and $10 million last month. Keep reading »

Psychic Predicts Woman’s Lottery Win—Kind Of

Do you believe in psychics? Forty-one-year-old hairdresser Susan Herdman most certainly does. The U.K. woman decided to see a tarot card reader to see what 2010 might bring for her. The psychic’s prediction? Wealth and good fortune in 2010. Sounds a little vague to me … but Susan, a believer, was confident that the prophecy would come to fruition. Two weeks ago, she even updated her Facebook status to read, “I’m going to win the lottery!” I’m imagining her friends’ reactions: “Ha! Keep on dreaming you crazy bat!” But Susan is the one laughing now, all the way to the bank. This past Saturday, Susan hit it rich when she matched all six lotto numbers, scoring herself a cool million. “I felt shocked for a moment, but it’s all sunk in quite quickly because I always believed I would win,” said Susan. Now she plans to go on vacation, pay off her mortgage, and maybe pick up a new BMW. I plan to go see a tarot card reader and force them to predict that I too will win the lottery. Do you think that will work? [Daily Mail] Keep reading »

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