Tag Archives: lottery

World’s Greatest Fortune Cookie Contained Winning Powerball Numbers

Apparently I have not been eating enough Chinese food. But if anything can inspire me to to starting loading up on lo mien noodles, it’s the promise of my fortune cookie bringing me actual fortune … and not just “in bed.” Keep reading »

10 Times Winning The Lottery Was A Curse

Theoretically, winning the lottery should be a wonderful thing. Who wouldn’t want $100 million in their pocket right now? But time and time again it’s been proven that all those millies can ruin even the best-intentioned, most giving, God-loving folk. And also the ones who blow their jackpot on cocaine and prostitutes. And everyone else between. Here are ten incredibly sad, more-tragic-than-Shakespeare stories where people went from gutter to glory to gutter again. Many of them went on to say (if they even survived to tell the tale), “I wish I never would have won.” Which means you there, dear reader, are one lucky sonofabitch for losing the Lottery.

Vagina Tree Predicts Winning Lotto Numbers!

I’ve never been a big fan of the lottery. I think it’s because of that Shirley Jackson short story where the “winner” gets stoned to death, which seems to be what metaphorically happens when someone suddenly comes into a lot of money. But if there were any way to know that the lotto was fixed and you were guaranteed a win, I could maybe risk those fears. Perhaps that’s why villagers in northern Thailand have been consulting the magical vagina tree for clues? Keep reading »

Female Math Professor Wins Lottery 4 Times

Texas woman Joan Ginther may just be the luckiest woman in the world. She has won the lottery four times. The chances of doing this are just one in 18 septillion. In case you (understandably) didn’t know—18 septillion is 18 with 24 zeros. And yet Ginther won $11 million in 1993, $2 million in 2006, $3 million in 2008 and $10 million last month. Keep reading »

Psychic Predicts Woman’s Lottery Win—Kind Of

Do you believe in psychics? Forty-one-year-old hairdresser Susan Herdman most certainly does. The U.K. woman decided to see a tarot card reader to see what 2010 might bring for her. The psychic’s prediction? Wealth and good fortune in 2010. Sounds a little vague to me … but Susan, a believer, was confident that the prophecy would come to fruition. Two weeks ago, she even updated her Facebook status to read, “I’m going to win the lottery!” I’m imagining her friends’ reactions: “Ha! Keep on dreaming you crazy bat!” But Susan is the one laughing now, all the way to the bank. This past Saturday, Susan hit it rich when she matched all six lotto numbers, scoring herself a cool million. “I felt shocked for a moment, but it’s all sunk in quite quickly because I always believed I would win,” said Susan. Now she plans to go on vacation, pay off her mortgage, and maybe pick up a new BMW. I plan to go see a tarot card reader and force them to predict that I too will win the lottery. Do you think that will work? [Daily Mail] Keep reading »

A Lottery Winner’s Dream: Women Wrestling In Not Much Clothing


Here’s more proof that people who can’t order a beer shouldn’t be able to win the lottery. Three years ago, Jay Vargas became the youngest Powerball winner in history and banked $17 million smackeroos at age 19. The South Carolina native swore he’d use the money wisely. “I [don't] have the temptation to go out and buy 15 cars or 50 houses, or a big mansion with 50-plus rooms,” he said. No, he wanted to use the money for good. To follow a dream. So he packed up, moved to Florida and founded Wrestilicious, a wrestling league for scantily-clad women. So far, Jay has shot the promo above and made a pilot episode. Now all he needs is a network to pick it up. I hope it works out, ’cause I want to see who’d win—Draculator or Malibu McKenzie. [Asylum] Keep reading »

Woman Who Won The Lotto At 16 Is Now Broke At 22

Callie Rogers won a £1.9 million lottery jackpot at the tender age of 16. Now, six years later, she’s attempted suicide twice, has moved back in with her mom, and is working three jobs to survive. The 22-year-old believes that winning the lottery ruined her life. “My life is a shambles,” she said. “[Winning the lottery] brought me nothing but unhappiness. It’s ruined my life. I’ve just wanted to make people happy by spending money on them. But it hasn’t made me happy. It just made me anxious that people are only after me for my money.” [Daily Mail]

Um, how do you blow through over $3 million in six years? Apparently, with a little help from your friends … and deadbeat boyfriend. Keep reading »

Man Who Let Girlfriend Stay In Bathroom For Two Years Wins Lottery, Twice

Back in March, we told you about a guy whose girlfriend wouldn’t come out of his bathroom for two years. Her skin eventually grew over the toilet seat, and she was attached to it when police found her. Well, in July, Kory McFarren received six months of probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor mistreatment of a dependent adult. But McFarren’s year hasn’t been all bad. The San Francisco Gate reports that the Kansas man won $20,000 in the state lottery…for the second time this year. Maybe he’ll use a little bit of the money to redecorate his bathroom — or at least buy a new toilet seat. [SF Gate] Keep reading »

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