Tag Archives: lord of the rings

Characters From Middle Earth That I Would Let Get It, Ranked

Characters From Middle Earth That I Would Let Get It, Ranked

I was out of town when the final installment in “The Hobbit” film trilogy was released, which is good, because watching it all by myself in 3-D IMAX in an empty theater was probably for the best given just how often I yelled out “Oh my god, I think I just came.” Which maybe seems weird (it’s not), but have you seen a dwarf in battle? If you haven’t, go ahead, I’ll wait the 18 hours it’ll take you to watch all six “Lord of the Rings” and “The Hobbit” films.

Okay, so. Unlike most die-hard Tolkien fans, I’ve never actually read the books. When Scholastic offered our school a field trip to go watch “The Fellowship of the Ring,” I signed up solely so I could skip both geometry and biology class, and get in a nice nap. Stadium seating was new at the time, and quite the luxury in 2001, you know? But then Viggo Mortensen happened, and here I am, extolling to anyone and everyone I’ve met how the movies are amazing, and drunkenly trying to get “Then it was a good dream” tattooed on my body in Elvish during the Super Bowl. Sure I can tell you all the reasons the storytelling is fantastic, the mythology is more entrenched than one might imagine, and the cinematography is far more excellent than any modern-day action film of our time, but let’s call a spade a spade: everyone in Middle Earth was hot as fuck. Keep reading »

My Top 5 Formative Geek Crushes

Literary Crushes
14 fictional people from books we are crushing on IRL. Read More »

The wonderful thing about a hefty amount of geek/nerd culture is that it is super-optimistic. John Green, author of A Fault In Our Stars, says that nerds are basically people who are “unironically enthusiastic … too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness.” Which is awesome!

The first time I hung out with my now-boyfriend, I totally melted over the fact that he got really, really jazzed pantomiming a stack that extended from hip-height to chin-height to illustrate how many books you can get for ten dollars at library book sales. As a little geekling, I learned to love guys like this by the examples that cartoons, TV shows, video games, movies, and books made for me of enthusiastic, caring dudes. Without further ado, my top five formative geek crushes…

This Fake “Lord Of The Rings” Subway Service Advisory Poster Isn’t All That Far From The Truth

"Lord of the Rings" fake subway service advisory

Relying on the New York City subway system is sometimes like relying on a three-legged, one-eyed horse for all of your transportation needs. Trying to get from my apartment off the G train to a friend’s apartment off the L train on a Saturday evening is a trip that should theoretically take 20 minutes, but instead involves a half-mile walk and piling onto a shuttle bus packed with 200 other miserable, sweaty hipsters shouting at the sad-looking old people who happen to be standing by the doors. In particular, ever since Hurricane Sandy hit a year ago, trying to get from one place to another has been like trying to get to fucking Mordor. Keep reading »

Do Not Want: Tree Bark Suit

Do Not Want: Molting Boots
Pretty sure these boots are shedding their exoskeleton. Read More »
Do Not Want: Sunglasses
Patriotic? Maybe. Ridiculous? Definitely. Read More »
Do Not Want: Picnic Pants
Now you can eat potato salad off your crotch! Read More »
Do Not Want: Wang Fur Boots
Ugh, these boots are terrible. Read More »

At first glance, I would assume this was a role-playing costume for people who wanted to dress up as those giant talking trees from “Lord Of The Rings” (“They’re called Ents, dumbass.” — Email I’m going to get from my brother as soon as this is published), but it’s actually a vintage skirt suit that’s being sold for $832. I’m not sure what the going rate is for an Ent costume these days, so who knows, that might actually be a good deal. Even so, I think I’ll pass. [Farfetch]

One Cardigan To Rule Them All

Swing Coats!
10 retro pieces of outerwear to keep you warm. Read More »

How awesome is this Lord of the Rings cardigan? Unfortunately it’s not actually for sale, just a “pseudo design” from the sweater fanatics over at We Have Cardigans, but I’m planning to gather up some nerdy friends and fabric markers to bring this baby to life. Make no mistake: the battle for a DIY Middle Earth cardigan is about to begin…. [Via We Have Cardigans]

Guess That Fan Fiction, Win Nerd Respect!

My best friend once made the mistake of telling me that she had written “Buffy” fan fiction when she was younger and I mercilessly teased her for years, even though it was that nerdy center that endeared her to me in the first place. Some of you may not be familiar with the steamy underground world of fan fiction where devoted fans think up (often sexy) scenarios for their favorite characters. For fun, we’ve rounded up six fanfic excerpts and taken out the nouns so you can guess which show/book/movie they are based on. Guess all six correctly and win … dork credibility? Keep reading »

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