The other day I got a letter from a reader who wanted to know how I knew my now-husband, Drew, was “the one,” whether I’d had an a-ha moment or something like that. She wanted to know how I knew he was “worth” picking up my life and moving to NYC for and whether I’d had some fear or hesitancy about moving. It was an interesting question to think about because on one hand, I actually don’t really believe in “a-ha” moments when it comes to relationships. I’m not even sure I necessarily believe in “the one.” I think there are potentially lots of ones, and it’s really all a matter of finding the right person at the right time. And though I obviously feel like I did find the right person at the right time, I didn’t always feel that way. And, in fact, there was an a-ha moment when things suddenly came into focus; I realized just how special what I had with Drew was and that our relationship was worth my picking up my life and moving, as scary as that was — and oh, it was scary!
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Our buddies over at YourTango have just about every single base covered when it comes to managing long-distance relationships. Surely, LDR’s aren’t easy. You can’t see each other for long periods of time, you hope the heart grows fonder in the absence of the other, and let’s not even get started on the money you spend on flights to see your one true love. Thankfully, YourTango has help! Whether your jobs put you at opposite ends of the country, your significant other has been deployed to the other side of the world, or you want to find out how to deal with being in an open long-distance relationship, there’s an expert on every issue you can imagine. To peruse their survival strategies, check out the laws of long-distance relationships. Keep reading »
Long-distance love isn’t easy, especially when he wants you to move. We called in expert help … Keep reading »
In Palestine, Basheer Mohammed Nasir wants to marry Amani Kamal Qassab. The couple has known each other for over two years, but they’ve been separated most of that time and it’s not your traditional long-distance thing. She’s in Gaza and he’s in the West Bank. They are divided by a broad swath of Israel, and deterred from reuniting by a deluge of unfinished permit paper work, most of which is out of their hands. In an NPR article, Basheer describes traveling to Gaza in 2006 for the Palestinian elections, where he met Amani and fell in love over a three month courtship. When Basheer returned to the West Bank, he built a home for Amani to come to. Instead, in 2007, the Palestinian political and religious group, Hamas, seized power from the more secular Palestinian group Fatah. Suddenly, permission for Amani to travel became virtually impossible to obtain. Amani says they’re on the phone together all day while they wait to be together, but she laments the “virtual marriage” which has suspended her in a limbo without the house, husband and children she’d planned for. The concepts of Hamas, Fatah and Palestinian geography have always been elusive to me, so this is an excellent but sad lesson to further my understanding. Keep reading »
The discussion of the trials and tribulations of long distance relationships is not a new one. Some swear a couple can survive the distance while others refuse to entertain the possibility that two people can stay connected when there is significant mileage between them. I used to be a bit of a compulsive long distance dater. My first two serious relationships were with British boys, which would soon later develop into a habit of only getting involved with foreign guys. Until recently I never questioned if getting involved in a relationship which is destined to be mostly long distance was a good idea. In my mind, if I was in love it would be sheer madness not to stay together. If true love can overcome death in “The Princess Bride” than of course it can overcome a minor issue such as distance. A few years and broken hearts later, I am not so sure. Keep reading »