Tag Archives: long distance relationships

Dear Wendy: “Should I Move For My Boyfriend?

Wendy AtterberryApril 8, 2010 //

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now. We are both 25 and have lots of love and respect for one another. I am currently working in L.A. at a job I really like. He’s graduating soon with his Ph.D. in Economics and is deciding to go back to school again for a second Ph.D. at Columbia where he just got accepted. Although I think it’s great that my boyfriend is so academic and ambitious, I am struggling with the idea that he is moving 3000 miles away! He says that when he goes, he would like me to quit my job, get married and move there with him. My issue is that I’m afraid if I do move to New York with him, I’ll regret quitting my job if it doesn’t work out but I’m also afraid that if I don’t go with him, I might miss out on a future with him. I’m not too fond of long distance relationships so this is really putting a strain on me because either way I feel as though I have to give something up in order for this relationship to continue. We have discussed options of him finding a job and staying in California, but since the job market has been extremely tough this year he believes that going back to school will put him ahead of the pack once the economy picks back up. What should I do? Any advice would help! — Torn

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Dear Wendy: “Should I Stay With My Boyfriend Or Move Back Home?”

Wendy AtterberryMarch 9, 2010 //

I moved out east for grad school, and I happened upon a great guy — he saw me through the rough transition of living here, helped while I was a foster parent for a year, and is overall the best guy I’ve ever dated. Here’s the issue: he’ll be moving to a nearby city for a new job soon, and I’ll be graduating in a few months and I don’t know whether to move with him or head back out west. Here, I have him, but a place I do NOT like. Also, we’re both on the shy side, so building a social network will take some time. Out west, I have friends, family, much better career options, and cities that I LOVE. I may never meet another guy like him, and I love him so much. But I also can see myself angrily saying that “I gave up everything for you,” and that would eat away at our relationship. He feels much the same about staying here as I do about returning home. This is the most mature, loving relationship I’ve ever had the privilege to be in; I want to maintain it. But I think staying here might destroy it. — Homeward Bound

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Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Managing A Long-Distance Relationship

Susannah BreslinJanuary 27, 2010 //

Our buddies over at YourTango have just about every single base covered when it comes to managing long-distance relationships. Surely, LDR’s aren’t easy. You can’t see each other for long periods of time, you hope the heart grows fonder in the absence of the other, and let’s not even get started on the money you spend on flights to see your one true love. Thankfully, YourTango has help! Whether your jobs put you at opposite ends of the country, your significant other has been deployed to the other side of the world, or you want to find out how to deal with being in an open long-distance relationship, there’s an expert on every issue you can imagine. To peruse their survival strategies, check out the laws of long-distance relationships. Keep reading »

Should I Move 3,000 Miles To Be With Him?

YourTango.comOctober 4, 2009 //

Long-distance love isn’t easy, especially when he wants you to move. We called in expert help … Keep reading »

We Hope This Couple Gets To Reunite Soon

Jessica GoldbergSeptember 16, 2009 //

In Palestine, Basheer Mohammed Nasir wants to marry Amani Kamal Qassab. The couple has known each other for over two years, but they’ve been separated most of that time and it’s not your traditional long-distance thing. She’s in Gaza and he’s in the West Bank. They are divided by a broad swath of Israel, and deterred from reuniting by a deluge of unfinished permit paper work, most of which is out of their hands. In an NPR article, Basheer describes traveling to Gaza in 2006 for the Palestinian elections, where he met Amani and fell in love over a three month courtship. When Basheer returned to the West Bank, he built a home for Amani to come to. Instead, in 2007, the Palestinian political and religious group, Hamas, seized power from the more secular Palestinian group Fatah. Suddenly, permission for Amani to travel became virtually impossible to obtain. Amani says they’re on the phone together all day while they wait to be together, but she laments the “virtual marriage” which has suspended her in a limbo without the house, husband and children she’d planned for. The concepts of Hamas, Fatah and Palestinian geography have always been elusive to me, so this is an excellent but sad lesson to further my understanding. Keep reading »

How Smart Is It To Get Into A Long Distance Relationship?

Ali JawinJuly 9, 2009 //
Doing An LDR?
Here are 7 tips you need to read! Read More »
Got A BF Out Of Town?
Here is some advice to follow when visiting your man. Read More »
Managing An LDR
How to deal with a long-distance relationship. Read More »

The discussion of the trials and tribulations of long distance relationships is not a new one. Some swear a couple can survive the distance while others refuse to entertain the possibility that two people can stay connected when there is significant mileage between them. I used to be a bit of a compulsive long distance dater. My first two serious relationships were with British boys, which would soon later develop into a habit of only getting involved with foreign guys. Until recently I never questioned if getting involved in a relationship which is destined to be mostly long distance was a good idea. In my mind, if I was in love it would be sheer madness not to stay together. If true love can overcome death in “The Princess Bride” than of course it can overcome a minor issue such as distance. A few years and broken hearts later, I am not so sure. Keep reading »

How To Embrace A Long-Distance Relationship

YourTango.comJune 17, 2009 //

“I took a job in another city, which will cause me to be away from my husband for long periods of time. What can we do to make our long-distance relationship work?” Phoebe, New York

Want more? Visit YourTango.com or check these out:

  • How To Woo Him With Your Phone Voice
  • How To Make Long-Distance Love Work
  • The Economics of Long-Distance Love Keep reading »

    • Kiss Across The Miles With A KissPhone

    Wendy AtterberryApril 27, 2009 //

    If reaching out and beaming someone isn’t exactly up your alley, there’s another new invention that may help keep your long distance relationship intimate. The KissPhone, created by French freelance inventor Georges Koussouros, is designed with a “huge pair of lips that is able to measure the pressure, percussion speed, temperature, and sucking force of your mouth, sending those parameters to the remote user’s KissPhone.” So, basically, if you and your partner both have a KissPhone, you can kiss the “huge lips,” and your partner will experience the sensation of being kissed on the other end of the call. The concept seems interesting, but if you thought drunk calling and texting was bad, just imagine how embarrassed you’d be if you drunk “kissed” the wrong person. On the other hand, at least you won’t get mono. [via ubergizmo] Keep reading »

    Dating Drama: Is He The One?

    Rachel Kramer BusselNovember 17, 2008 //

    Right now, I’m in the most serious relationship I’ve ever been in; as in, even though I live in New York and he lives in San Francisco, we’ve talked about where and when we could live together — and how soon. He’s met my uncle; I’ve gone to his family’s cabin, and I’m joining them for Thanksgiving. His mom sends me emails, and my grandmother sends me clippings urging him to stop smoking. We talk almost every night and end most calls with “I love you.” Keep reading »

    Nine Negative Effects Of Dating Locally

    Wendy AtterberryOctober 27, 2008 //

    Before I left Chicago last fall and moved in with my long-distance boyfriend in New York, I thought a lot about all the benefits such a lifestyle change could create. I fantasized about Sunday mornings with my boyfriend when neither of us would have to worry about rushing off to catch a flight. I thought about mundane weekday evenings, too, making dinner and hanging out after work, something we’d never experienced together before. And I thought about the career opportunities, culture, and new friendships, not to mention fabulous shopping that awaited me in the world’s finest city. What I didn’t think about, however, was the benefit my move would have on the environment, something a recent article on Slate suggests all LDR couples should consider.

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