When most girls (or guys) hear the phrase “long distance relationship,” the words that come to mind are: miserable, horrific, sad, heartbreaking, not worth it—did I mention miserable? Permanent long distance relationships can be difficult and painful, but I can tell you from experience, a little separation isn’t always a bad thing. As long as you and your guy can get together every few weeks, long distance can absolutely rock. After the jump—20 reasons why it does.
Are you starting to wonder if whoever coined the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder” was ever involved in a long-distance relationship? The truth is, when many miles separate you and your honey, keeping your connection strong is tough regardless of your fondness for each other. In the wonderful new film “Like Crazy,” Jacob, an American, and Anna, a British exchange, fall in love at school in LA. The couple is forced to try to maintain their relationship from a great distance when she is banned from the U.S. after overstaying her visa. Keep reading »
“The long distance kind of petered us out. When you date someone else who’s in the industry, someone has to make the sacrifices. And if no one’s willing to, then you just have to be friends.”
—January Jones is on the cover of the June issue of Allure, and inside the magazine talks about why her relationship with Jason Sudeikis didn’t work out. We say big boo to that. We were rooting for those two. [Allure]
Then again, January says dating someone out of the industry has complications, too. Her thought on that after the jump. Keep reading »
Chers amis,
It’s been a while since we last chatted. Last time, I was saying farewell to my 365 Days in Paris blog. Ending the blog was a tough choice especially because so much good stuff was going on in my life—I’d finished up my first year in Paris, was heading onto the next, and had finally met an amazing guy, “Henri.” But I just had a feeling that because things were going well that it was time to live my life offline. I so enjoyed hearing your advice and comments each week, and was pleasantly surprised to hear from Amelia that some of you had actually been asking about me. Moi? I’m touched. So, here’s my update for you.
I’ll start with the end: I’m not in Paris anymore. Keep reading »
This month, I turned 22. Young, I know, but for me the birthday served as another float in the parade of reality that my graduation day is marching closer with each passing moment. Instead of the usual array of fun and frivolous gifts wrapped in brightly colored paper, far too many people chose to get me “work clothes” for my birthday this year.
I am graduating from New York University in May. And it’s not just others who are preparing me for the life change that’s about to happen. Each morning, I wake up and remind myself that I need to get a job—and not of the smoothie shop variety. I’ve spent more time than I care to admit contemplating how to craft the perfect employer-alluring business card and website. And if all this worrying, wondering and work wardrobing wasn’t enough, almost every conversation I have had with someone 25+ over the past five months has turned into a mental probing of my potential to deal with “the future.” Keep reading »
It was over a year ago, last January, when my boyfriend of almost four years said, “So I have something to tell you” over a Friday night dinner in Chinatown. My appetite instantly evaporated and my stomach suddenly ached with anticipation over what would follow those words. Immediately I thought, This is the break-up dinner, and my mind whirled into a frenzy of what could be wrong when I thought we were so happy. We caught a cab and went back to his Brooklyn apartment, quickly saying hi to his roommates and disappearing into his room to talk.
Sitting on his bed, I prepared myself for the worst. Did he cheat on me? Did he lose his job? Just looking at him, I couldn’t tell. He wasn’t mad, but he wasn’t happy either. He’s usually calm, but at that moment he was nervous.
“So, I’m moving to Hong Kong for work,” was the next thing I heard. Keep reading »
Last month my husband received a friend request on Facebook from a childhood friend he hasn’t seen or spoken to in 10 years. She wrote him a couple of messages and they texted over the holidays. I figured this was a case of old friends catching up and didn’t think much of it. Last week, he unlocked his iPhone to show me a picture and his call log was open. I saw that there were about eight calls to and from his friend in a span of three days. He doesn’t even call me that much! My phone bill came this week and there were over 100 texts to and from this “friend” in a matter of three days. I asked about the messages and he admitted that he deleted them because I would have gotten angry. I have explained to him that I think it’s disrespectful for a random woman to be repeatedly calling my husband (they were friends TEN years ago!) and I think he is disrespecting me by having so much contact with her behind my back. He says that I am crazy, jealous and overreacting. He has been very opposed to my having close male friends, so I think he is being a hypocrite. I had no reason to not trust him until he started hiding things from me. Do you think I’m really being overly jealous or is he just trying to make me feel guilty because he knows he’s wrong? — The “Crazy” Wife
I’m in school in the UK and my wonderful boyfriend is in school in Michigan. I’m coming to stay with him for a couple weeks over New Year’s (one week in the middle, when he’s in classes, I’ll go to see my parents in NC), but there’s a problem: he wants to go to NYC for NYE where all his friends from undergrad will be and he wants me to pay for our flights and he’ll pay me back for both when he gets money he’s owed in January. I worry that if I pay for the tickets now, it will put me in a very tight money situation for the next few weeks until he pays me, and who knows if he’ll even be able to pay me promptly?! I get very nervous with money and budgeting, and he is very lax about “I owe you” and I worry it may be months or more before I’m paid back. I know when our relationship gets more serious we will have to talk about finances and how we handle money together, but this is hitting me in the face, and I feel unprepared. We were planning to go to Chicago for New Year’s — just the two of us — which would be a lot cheaper than going to NYC ($450 cheaper!), but he’d be upset about not being with his friends. At the end of the day, I’m sure I’ll be just really happy to be with him wherever we are, as I haven’t seen him in three months, but here I am fretting about money and I can’t help myself. What do you think I should do? — Pay it Forward?
I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, the last three months of which have been long distance as I had to move for grad school. We only live three hours apart, so we still get to see each other a couple times a month. For most of the last three months, we have been fine — I felt happy, secure, and more fulfilled in a relationship then I ever had been before. However, for the last two or three weeks I just plain feel like I don’t have a boyfriend. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to spend time together recently. Our conversations have not been particularly interesting and I feel like he isn’t putting in a lot of effort. He hardly ever compliments me or returns it when I compliment him, his idea of sympathy is saying “that’s too bad,” and he’s even reticent to return my dirty texts. I feel bad, because he’s not particularly verbally expressive and I feel like I’m being too needy, but I don’t feel content, fulfilled, or even particularly happy right now. I’ve stopped trying because I’m tired of nagging him to be more affectionate and to take initiative. I feel like it would be better if we were actually in the same area code, but moving is not financially possible for him, and there are no graduate programs close to him that I could transfer to. Is there anything I can do or should I just MOA? — Up against a wall
I have been talking to this guy for a few months now. We were good friends in college and reconnected via Facebook and upgraded our flirtatious banter to texting and phone calls. He lives about four hours away from me (I realize this is not really that long distance considering you moved across the country for a guy). We have each visited each other once in the last two months. Both of us have spoken candidly about wanting to date but it’s always under the pretext of “if you lived here.” He’s asked me to move in with him numerous times, and while I know I wouldn’t do that on a whim, I would be willing to do long-distance for a little while to see how compatible we are and then in, like, a year revisit the idea of moving. Should I give up and move on? Or should I try to talk to him about it? I can’t imagine losing anything by telling him how I feel, even if he says absolutely no to long-distance, then I’ll know for sure that we should stop talking, right? – Feeling Lost
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