Last week I told you about 20 things couples should do before they move in together. Hopefully, you’re clear on what needs to be done before you move in with your sweetie, but you may still be confused about what changes need to happen once you start sharing an address and merging your lives a little more intimately. Let me help clarify things for you. After the jump, 20 things couples should stop doing once they move in together (if they haven’t already). Keep reading »
Moving in with a significant other is a major step in any relationship and one that should never be rushed into. Before you throw caution to the wind, make sure you and your relationship are ready for such a leap. After the jump, 20 things every couple should do before they move in together. Keep reading »
I’m moving to a new city soon. I have a female friend who lives there whom I’ve always had a crush on. I was looking forward to the chance to ask her out, see how she felt about me, and if there was anything between us. However, before I got a chance, she asked if she could move in with me as she was having trouble finding a new apartment. As the request was a bit time sensitive I said yes, not wanting to keep her from having a place to live while I sorted out my feelings. Now I’m not sure what to do. Should I just lay out my feelings and risk freaking her out (and making our soon-to-be living arrangements a bit awkward), should I keep it to myself and see how things work out, or does the sheer fact that she asked to move in with me mean I’m a permanent fixture in the friend zone. — Confused Renter
This November, I’m moving in with my boyfriend, and it will be my third time living with a significant other. Needless to say, the first two times didn’t work out. At 22, my first love moved into my already furnished apartment; we split soon after. Later, at 25, my ex and I signed a lease for a one-bedroom in upper Manhattan. We had basically no furniture, so we embarked on an adventure to the Ikea in Paramus, New Jersey. That was the beginning of our demise. Keep reading »
I’m 20 years old and am a college sophomore in New York. I met my boyfriend, a fellow classmate, during orientation and we’ve been together for a year and four months and things are going really great. The time to pick housing for next year is coming up soon and I’m having trouble deciding things. I go to Columbia, where the administration had just implemented a “gender neutral” housing policy starting next year, as you guys wrote about in one of your previous posts, and I’m trying to decide if I want to live with my boyfriend next year. If we do decide to be roommates, we could get a really nice double with our own kitchen and bathroom, which would put an end to the communal kitchen/bathroom ordeal I’ve had to deal with for the last two years. It’ll be like having our own apartment in New York. But I know that being roommates can bring a lot of other things into the relationship that we never had to deal with before, and I don’t know if we’re ready for that. Also, I’m not sure if I will ever get any work done if I’m living with my boyfriend. But then again, I feel like it would be the perfect arrangement for us, and I’m not really concerned about us breaking up and having to deal with the awkwardness that would ensue. What do you think? — Undecided Roommate
How much space do you need if sharing it with a significant other? If I’m on vacation with my husband, one room in a hotel is fine, but if we’re talking full-time living space, I need at least a one-bedroom apartment with a door to a room I can hole up in and be alone if the mood strikes (or if my dude’s watching sports on TV). I cannot even begin to fathom sharing 175 square feet with my husband and two cats, but that’s exactly what one New York couple is doing. Zaarath and Christopher Prokop live in the smallest apartment in the city in the working-class Manhattan neighborhood of Morningside Heights. The couple bought the “microstudio” for $150,000 three months ago and share it with their two cats (see all the photos here). With no closets, the couple keeps their clothes strategically stashed at various dry cleaners and in their offices. They’ve got a single hot plate, a mini-fridge, two windows, and a queen-sized bed that takes up a third of their living space. They don’t have room for a trash can (“the second something needs to be thrown out, they walk to the chute in the hallway”), but they have a kitchen cabinet full of champagne (“Zaarath’s job allows them to order cases of it”). “We really have everything we need.” says Christopher. Keep reading »
Have you been watching “Hoarders” on A&E? If you’re unfamiliar, each episode documents the lives of two of the estimated three million Americans who are so compulsive about accumulating crap of all kinds that they’ve lost the ability to function normally.
Until I was assigned this story, I didn’t watch it. I like crappy reality shows as much as the next lady, but this one didn’t appeal to me—I’d already lived it. Keep reading »
There are only two reasons why I’d move in and live with another girlfriend. We’re married and determined to fill a sweatshop with our nimble-fingered love critters. Or she cracks me in the head with a shovel, sews my mouth shut, replaces my eyeballs with marbles, and sits my stuffed body in the corner. Whatever you do, don’t move in with your boyfriend. What? It’s too late? Sweet Zeus, Odin, and Quetzalcoatl, winged serpent god of the Aztecs! I hope your cohabitation doesn’t end the way two (two!) of mine did – with helicopters launching off the roof amidst tornadoes of debris and smoke, a single individual hanging off the skids, flipping the bird to the person whose name is on the lease. Keep reading »
I guess it’s time for me to give up the dream that Jillian Harris will realize marrying Ed Swiderski is a BIG mistake and run back into the arms of Reid Rosenthal. In light of a million warning signs, “Bachelorette” Jillian is blindly plodding forward with Ed. Yup. She’s moving into his condo this week. [Insert blood-curdling scream here.] In regards to taking this huge step in their relationship, Jillian says, “I can start [having] a real life again. I’m looking forward to some sort of normalcy –- making dinners, waking up early, cleaning house. It’s perfect.” [People]
Jillian … eek! There is a difference between “leap of faith” and “blind faith.” As those of us who have lived together know, living with Ed is not likely to be the “perfect” arrangement she’s expecting. Even all those cute pillows from Pottery Barn won’t change the fact that Ed is either gay or a two-timer. Sigh. We have to let her make her mistakes. But because I have a soft spot for her, I thought the least I could do is give some advice on how to survive the first week living together. Keep reading »
It’s undeniable that marriage and relationships in general look nothing like they did 40 years ago. What’s happened? Women’s lib, skyrocketing divorce rates, the death of the nuclear family — and that’s just for starters. The whole game has changed. Sometimes I think that each generation exhibits a reactionary trend to their predecessors. I am part of the “divorced parents” era. Although my parents are still married, about 60 percent of all people I meet my age come from broken homes. While this phenomenon didn’t necessarily make us “anti-marriage,” it has certainly made us “marriage cautious” or “marriage disillusioned.” As a modern woman I know the statistics – if I ever do tie the knot, I know it ain’t gonna be all sunshine and roses. And that’s why I plan to be as sure as I can possibly, possibly be. Before I exchange any vows, I’ve made a vow to myself: I MUST live with someone before I marry him. I’m not alone in this thinking. About 70 percent of couples are cohabitating before marriage these days. Keep reading »
