We totally love cheesy, awesome, dancey R&B songs, especially when we listen closely to the lyrics and crack up. Usher’s “Love In This Club” provided much joy with the line, “I want to bag you like some groceries,” but it’s time to call attention to some other poetic words of love and lust from R&B MCs. Here are five of our favorite lines…
5. “Now your body’s got me feelin’ like spending/With a backroom I could come to live in/And your hair weave looking kind of pretty/The way you back it up on me baby/Lord have mercy.” — R. Kelly, “Feelin’ On Yo Booty”, TP-2.com
R. Kelly has a thing for big butts, especially on the dance floor. This particular lady has a butt that R. Kelly would like to move into. It doesn’t hurt that her hair weave is looking nice too. If I was this woman, I would be concerned, because we have all heard about what R. Kelly likes to do with butts he likes. Just sayin’.
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This morning Catherine and I were talking about Gossip Girl and how we find the guy who plays Dan really unattractive due to his annoying mouth and weird walk. Then we started going off about all the seemingly “hot” guys out there that everyone oohs and ahhs over that we really think are gross and came up with a short list of ones we agreed upon.
5. Orlando Bloom Have you ever seen him in Troy, that atrocious Brad Pitt movie? He plays the biggest wimpy turd. Honestly, thinking about him in the role, and how convincing he was, makes my stomach turn. Plus, look at that pube ‘stache. Barf.
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Maxim just released their latest Hot 100 list and swimsuit model Marissa Miller grabbed the top spot. All in all, the list was filled with the usual suspects — Christina Aguilera, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan — and some surprisingly cool women we’re proud of Maxim for pickings — Zooey Deschanel, America Ferrara, and Kat Von D. But we did have some suggestions for who we would have included — and who we would have have dropped. The Top Five Additions (and Subtractions) after the jump… Keep reading »
The website AltPenis.com compiled a list of the ten greatest penises of all time, but instead of depending on size as the end all, be all criteria for determining the list, the focus was on the myth and lore of the piece itself. Howard Stern (known for being very, very average), Jonah Falcon (known for being very, very large), and John Holmes (just very, very well-known) make an appearance. Can you guess the others? [AltPenis.com] (Link is NSFW if you consider a big weiner in a jar to be racy.) Keep reading »
Sex can do a lot of things. It can get you knocked up, give you an STD, or make you feel glorious, and doctors and researchers just love spouting off the benefits of having a healthy sex life. Some of us, however, don’t have that going for us. Whether you’re just having a dry spell or you’re saving yourself for marriage, here’s how to get the same benefits you would if you were boning.
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