I know, guys. You’ve been hurt. You’ve been frustrated — terrified, even — by the behavior of some of the women you’ve been with. Some of it has been legitimately bad behavior — invasions of privacy, violence, manipulation — but rarely has it come from nowhere. Which is exactly what the label “psycho” implies.
When we call a woman “psycho,” we dismiss her completely and suggest that she has no grounds for her emotions and behavior. Let’s be honest — seven times out of 10, the guy did something. Whether or not we view a woman’s reaction as appropriate to the offense, a woman freaking out “for no reason” is a lot less frequent than we pretend it is.
For example, here are six behaviors often labeled “psycho” that are just as often justified. Keep reading »
Any old talk show psychologist can give you the business about date nights and fetish gear to keep the spark alive. That’s Talk Show Psychologist Tips For Romance 101. But it takes a ballsy renegade to have the guts to let you know that saving a relationship might be about imagining the most romantic solutions possible — then doing the opposite. That ballsy renegade is us.
#5. Spend Less Time Together: So it’s been a long week at work, both of you are stressed out and when you do see each other, you end up fighting like rabid monkeys. But now it’s the weekend! You can relax and spend your free time playing tennis (which he loves) and taking pictures of each other with ironic finger mustaches (which she loves). But you have to do these things together because you are a couple, dammit, and you love each other. Read more… Keep reading »
I think of myself as a fairly laid-back person — usually it takes a lot to really irritate me. (Maybe it’s because I grew up in California and all the secondhand pot smoke has made me permanently mellow, or something?) That said, there are a few things that really chap my ass that I find kind of fun to bitch about. After the jump, five relatively minor things that bug the crap out of me — share your peculiar irritations in the comments! It’s Friday — let’s purge! Keep reading »
When legendary sex symbol Bo Derek appeared on Oprah a few months ago, Oprah kept pressing her to tell the world something profound about being a beautiful woman, and Bo kept brushing off the questions, saying, “It’s just about the way the bones line up.” That felt pretty profound to me. In our culture, the standard of beauty is narrow, and every day we face countless reminders of the ways we fall short. When it comes down it, though, our society’s definition of beauty is simple and unromantic: it’s high cheekbones and a button nose and long legs and a small waist and so on and so on. We can only congratulate or punish ourselves so many times for the way our bones line up. Here are 50 vastly different definitions of beauty that I know to be true… Keep reading »
For the last few years, I’ve been a mentor to a former student of mine from my days as a junior high school teacher. Now that she is out of college, we have become friends, or more like older sister/ younger sister, or somewhere between parent and peer. I met her when she was 15. Now she’s 22. The other evening she was telling me about this guy she’s been dating on and off. In short, I do not approve of him. Listening to her talk, I remembered how when I was her age, I was in a very similar dating situation. I wanted to shake her and say, “Dump his ass now!” But that wouldn’t be right. If someone had said that to me, I would have laughed at them and then told them to f**k off. I wanted to spare her all of the pain, all of the mistakes I made myself. But I suppose I can’t. Sigh. Such is life. People learn in their own time. Instead, I offer my unsolicited advice about what I wish I knew about dating when I was 22 and hope that she reads it and figures it out for herself. Add your dating wisdom nuggets in the comments. Keep reading »
Ladies, I’m sure you have experienced this before. You are having a perfectly good flirtation session with a perfectly hot guy when all of a sudden … he ruins everything. The other night, I was at a party, talking with a guy I found extremely attractive and cool. We were wrapping up the conversation, about to exchange contact info, when he made a serious misstep. He reached down underneath his chair and pulled out a giant bicycle helmet and PUT IT ON. He looked so ridiculous that I couldn’t take him seriously. I fully support bicycle riding, especially with the proper safety precautions, but couldn’t he have waited until we parted ways to put the stupid thing on? Sigh. Foiled by a bicycle helmet. After the jump some more flirtation killers sure to spoil a good vibe. Add yours in the comments. Keep reading »