File this under WTF. The intimates line K. Lynn, which has chain stores in the Middle East, has placed lingerie place mats—you know, for eating on—at cafes in the region so that otherwise fully garbed Muslim women can imagine how they would look if they were sitting down in a pair of sexy stockings and garters. I have no commentary to offer other than this is really weird. [Copyranter]

The only good reason I can come up with for GPS panties is if they had a little pocket where you could store your little baggie of diamonds or other valuables. That way, if you left the panties somewhere and needed to find them again, the GPS would be able to help. But that is not the reason Panchira Corp. created Forget-Me-Not Panties! No, their reasons are far more stalker-y. Their motto is “protect her privates,” and the panties are for dudes to give as gifts to the women in their lives—when they suspect they could be cheating or coming home late at night. The GPS transmits the info to a cell phone and can even measure heart rate and temperature levels. That way these freaky, suspicious dudes can know when their girlfriends are hot and horny. If all that’s not creepy enough, check out the two testimonials on the site, after the jump.

The Daily Mail reports that conical bras, made popular by ‘50s icons Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell and then again by Madonna in the ‘80s, are making a big comeback. Not only did the bras make appearances on recent catwalk collections, sales have had a huge increase, with some styles selling as much as 33 percent more than this time last year. The economy, of course, is being credited for the resurgence of the pointy bra, just as it is for shorter skirts, red lipstick, bigger hair, and just about any other cyclical fashion trend that’s reappeared in the last year or so. A spokesperson for a department store in London said: “Throughout the last century the trend for feminine pointy shaped bras experienced a renaissance following times of a toughened economy, marking a return of unabashed femininity as women seek to have more fun with fashion as a form of escapism.” What, no mention of “Mad Men”? Personally, I think Joan Holloway and the other ladies of the hit TV show may have a greater impact on the sales of nostalgic lingerie than the economy; how about you? And would you wear a conical bra yourself? [Daily Mail]

Here’s a first look at Sonia Rykiel‘s upcoming H&M collection, featuring some mighty interesting lingerie. At first, we glanced at the French designer’s signature rose details and those little mesh boy shorts and thought, Not bad! But then we realized that these might be the least logical pieces of underwear. Ever. Unless you enjoy the lumpy, supersized nipple look under your t-shirt.

Rykiel’s line comes out in early December ... does this look like the kind of thing you’d buy just to wear in the bedroom? Or if you’re going to put down for a designer collab, would you rather put your money towards something a bit more functional? [StyleCaster.com]

Here it is only three days away from Halloween and I still have no idea what I’m going to dress up as. I suppose if I wanted to go the sexy route — which I don’t think I do — I could always skip the costume altogether and don this glow-in-the-dark lingerie in a private party for two. The bra and briefs set, called the “Boudoir Collection,” was created by Australian company, Luminglow. The designer, 55-year-old Jan Hawley, said the idea came from her two grown sons. Naturally! Don’t most designers get their ideas for racy lingerie from their kids? “I have to laugh discussing knickers and bras with my sons and asking them what they like and think looks good. It’s hilarious. I can only say its been an illuminating experience from beginning to end.” Hawley says. The bra sells for about $46, the lace briefs for about $26. [via Daily Mail]

Pretty much the worst idea for an undergarment ever. [Mademoiselle Quincampoix]

Halloween is right around the corner, and I’ll readily admit that my costume has yet to be decided. Agent Provocateur must be counting on the fact that girls all over will not only wait until the last minute to decide their alter ego for the night, but also on the idea that Halloween is an excuse to dress as slutty as possible. The undies brand launched their newest superhero-inspired collection just in time for the holiday celebration. Sexy Tarantula? Check. Racy Reptile? Also there.

First they take our children, and now they are after our pets. The SEX EVERYTHING UP industry has struck again, and this time they’re marketing lingerie for dogs. Metro Paws sells what they call “Negligee T-Shirts,” which are “made from fine lingerie lace and the same stretchy nylons used in fine undergarments.” OK, true story time. Yesterday I had to take my dog Lucca to the vet because she has abscessed anal glands and they needed to be “expressed.” Anything that needs its ass drained should not be wearing “fine lingerie lace.” Ugh. (For the record, she is fine now.) [Urlesque]

Any lingerie with garter straps becomes sexier in multiples. Luckily, a sex kitten like you doesn’t need to curl up to sleep in the poorhouse! Make your man’s tongue hit the floor with this Forever 21 polka dot onesie with satin-y bows and ruffles that you’ve snapped to your foxiest thigh-highs. It’s sweet and sexy, which is hard to pull off! And hey, no one has to know you’re wearing cheap lingerie ... unless you want them to. [$17.80, Forever 21]

Growing up during a time when “Baby Got Back” by Sir-Mix-A-Lot was an anthem could give a gal with a pancake butt a bit of a complex. But have no fear my flapjack-assed sisters! Booty Pop Panties, which are padded just so, will make your tush pop with the lusciousness you’ve only dreamed about! Check out the commercial above. Who wants to put this product to the test?

For some, thongs are a natural staple, either for their sexiness or utilitarian panty-line reduction value. The rest of us can’t stand butt floss, but make our cracks endure it when need be. The latter may want to check out this solution: seamless boyshorts by Fashion First Aid. With heat-sealed seams and some sort of vague-but-impressive-sounding “laser technology,” the panties give your bum full coverage but won’t produce VPLs. They come in black for everyday wear, as well as nude for the more complicated garments. Interestingly, Fashion First Aid also makes a thong variety of these invisible underpants. For the overly protective perhaps? [$16.50, My-Wardrobe.com]

When I came across this Sportmax bodysuit, it brought back memories of my Grandma Betty: watching her in the bathroom as she’d primp, taking drags off her Benson & Hedges cigarette in between showering her bouffant in V05 hairspray and coating her lips in shimmery orange. Of course, she’d do this all in a bodysuit, usually an unsexy nude undergarment, as well as nude stockings.

Of course, I’m sure many of you have some full-body variety. Although it’s probably more for “special occasions” and not so much for everyday wear. Here’s what you might call a “fashion bodysuit” as it’s both an undergarment and a top. Would you (or do you) wear something like this? Or are panty-tops for Grams only? [My-Wardrobe.com]

There's a multi-bajillion dollar industry dedicated to sewing together tiny scraps of flimsy fabric, calling it a fancy French word, and selling it to women -- so why shouldn't there be a lingerie market for men? Oh, but wait! There is! (Albeit a less lucrative one.) Manties are, you guessed it, "panties" for men that mimic the lacy, frilly, girly, and frothy ideal of lingerie for women. I'm pretty sure you know someone (though you may not know you know) who wears them. Without giving away specifics, I have known of one in my own life, possibly two -- a former colleague and, I suspect, a family member as well, had a drawer full of lacy underthings that he either wore or sniffed. So, after you've gotten over the shock of seeing such atrocious undergarments for men (and the fact that they appear so cheap and flammable), fess up in our poll.

The women in comic books have a tendency to be scantily clad, buxom babes (i.e., Barbarella). Lingerie brand Agent Provocateur is capitalizing on this rule of thumb by creating its own graphic novel with characters that wear the label’s skimpy bedroom clothes while saving the world from extinction. (According to the plot line, the ladies have lived without men for centuries, but now they’re out of semen and on the brink of extinction.)

Do you think it’s clever when brands do more than buy ads in magazines to get people to buy their wares? Or is this catalog in the form of a comic book a total waste of Agent Provocateur’s money? [Agent Provocateur via View On Fashion]

Crazy expensive, bejeweled bras are nothing new. Heidi Klum freakin’ wears one in every Victoria’s Secret runway show. But why should Heidi have all the spendy chest candy to herself? Here’s something different and dedicated to a great cause: Luxury lingerie company Di Murini has developed a Swarovski-studded mastectomy bra that weighs in at $1,931.58, with 50 percent of the profits going to the charity Against Breast Cancer. It’s a pretty cool addition to all the Breast Cancer Awareness Month fund-raising products, no? [Lussorian]

Pinup icon Dita Von Teese shows the rest of us how to work it, work it at the London launch of her eponymous lingerie line for Wonderbra. [9/23/09, London]

Designer Liz Franco created this hilarious send-up of this iconic British WWII poster. [Via Fraying]

To celebrate the launch of their “New World Order” line of lingerie, Agent Provocateur deposited a fleet of underwear models wearing leather, thigh-high boots in front of the department store Selfridges and managed to literally stop traffic. Wonder why? [9/16/09, London]