Tag Archives: lindsay lohan

The Most Orange, Crispy Tanning Horror Stories You’ll Ever Read

Dear Dr. Derm, forgive me for what I’m about to say.

So, yeah, “tan me” is way hotter than “pasty-and-pale me.” (And by way hotter, I’m not intimating that I’m incredibly good-looking—or even a little good-looking—it’s about that little bit of bronze that balances out my sometimes ruddy skin, makes my hair look blonder without the $250 highlighting bill and let’s me walk out of the house with some Aquaphor on as lip gloss and nothing else). But, since tanning is universally known to cause bad stuff (hi, cancer), I refrain and instead hit the bottle.

Either way you go, the bottle tan or the UV-ray real thing, getting bronzed often produces the most brutal (and totally hilar) stories. To wit…
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Star Couplings: Sarah Michelle Gellar Is Expecting!

  • Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. are expecting! [DListed] — I can see the reality show now — “When Two C-Listers Have A Baby!”
  • Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are planning on getting married fo’ realz on the series finale of “The Hills.” [Perez Hilton] — Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice — well, shame on you again.
  • In addition to going back to red, Lindsay Lohan also got a post-breakup tattoo. [People] — Of Sam Ronson’s face?!
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    Quickies!: Pete Wentz Parties With Strippers While Ashlee Is Stuck With The Baby

  • When Ashlee is away, Pete will play! [Dlisted] — With bikini wearing skanks that is.
  • Nerve’s guy blogger has a list of his favorite feminist icons. We love guy feminists! [Nerve]
  • Sam Ronson won’t be bring a restraining order against Lindsay. [Celebitchy]
  • What? Cancer survivor Christina Applegate was spotted smoking. [Oh No They Didn’t]
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    Lindsay Lohan And Samantha Ronson Get Post-Breakup Hairstyles

    Both Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have changed their hair since breaking up this week. You know, a new hairstyle can be rather cathartic, as Amelia can attest to. Sam went a little shorter than her normal pixie, while Lindsay left the scissors alone for now and chose to go back to her ginger roots. But you can probably expect LiLo to have a head shaving incident any day now.

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    Lindsay Lohan Teaches Us How Not To Break Up

    Lindsay Lohan is messier than eating a burrito in the back of a school bus. She just can’t keep it together! She’s been chasing SamRo around town, allegedly stalking her beat makin’ bro Mark, tried to crash her twin sister Charlotte’s fashion party, and now the fam is considering filing a restraining order. Seriously, stick a fork in these love birds because they’re done cooking! But from loss comes lessons — here’s what we can, and Lindsay should, learn about how to handle a breakup.

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    Who Should Samantha Ronson Date Next?

    If you ask Lindsay Lohan, she and her GF Sam Ronson are on a break. But if you talk to the DJ’s mama, Ann Dexter Jones, SamRo’s one step away from filing a restraining order against Lohan, who had to be physically removed by security when she tried to crash Charlotte Ronson’s big fashion party this weekend. Well, whatever is actually going on, one thing is clear: Sam needs a new lady to love. And we’re here to play matchmaker:

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    Star Couplings: Lindsay Lohan Is Losing Her Mind!

  • Lindsay Lohan opened up to Us Weekly about the split between her and Sam Ronson. She said she’s in “absolute hell,” but friends’ fears about suicide are unfounded. Something tells me dishing to a tabloid isn’t the way to get Sam back, LiLo. [Us Weekly]
  • Meanwhile, Lindz was spotted drinking copious amounts of vodka at a club Monday night, and her mother, who was present, did nothing to stop her. [Perez Hilton]
  • Charlie Sheen’s twin baby Max has been released from the hospital now that he’s gained an adequate amount of weight. We’re sure brother Bob missed him. [OK! Magazine]
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    Quickies!: Sam Ronson Sure Knows How To Celebrate A Birthday/Breakup

  • Sam Ronson gets over Lindsay by celebrating her departure with a cocaine themed cake. [Dlisted]
  • Where’d her rack go? Supposedly bony, diet loving, macrobiotic Gwyneth Paltrow is to blame for Scarlett’s less curvy body. [Defamer]
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    What Can Lindsay Lohan Do To Save Her Career?

    Lindsay Lohan, who is virtually bankrupt and recently split with sugar mama Sam Ronson, is expanding her 6126 leggings line with pantyhose. This just sounds like a last ditch effort to make some money. I mean, pantyhose are just plain boring. What’s next, tube socks? Since hosiery generally goes for less than $20, we came up with some ideas for Lindsay to save her career and help her stay relevant, you know, because occasionally appearing on magazine covers and endorsing products doesn’t a lasting career make. Keep reading »

    Star Couplings: The Ronsons Are Really Sick Of Lindsay Lohan

  • The Ronsons are reportedly seeking a restraining order against Lindsay Lohan, who has been making some rather embarrassing accusations against ex Sam Ronson on Twitter. [OK! Magazine]
  • Chris Brown surprisingly pleaded not guilty yesterday. Many thought he’d have a different plea since he’s reportedly trying to work out a deal with the prosecutor. [Dlisted]
  • Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox have entered back into the “on again” phase of their relationship. They were spotted house hunting in Santa Monica at the end of March. [Perez Hilton]
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