First, there was Lindsay Lohan and her preposterous line of leggings. Then came mom Dina Lohan and her “Shoe-han” shoe line. SHOE-HAN? In internet-speak, I say: WTF? Now, some anonymous individual has taken it upon himself/herself to pen a faux-Dina shoe blog featuring some wackadoddle styles that would be just perfect for the 2010 Shoe-han collection set to debut on Mother’s Day. There are the Denise Richards “It’s Complicated” gold pumps, the garbage can stripper shoes, and the My Pretty Pony patent leather heels. I hope we aren’t limited to one pair. I WANT THEM ALL. [Shoehans]

• More out-of-control Lindsay Lohan behavior: this time, she apparently tried to scam clothes during a recent Kitson appearance. [Fox News]—Another day, another cry for help from La Lohan. Poor dear.
• Test your knowledge of Victorian era sexual slang. [TresSugar]—You’ll learn just how “gay” the Gay ‘90s were.
• A German model was charged with trying to extort $100,000 from Cindy Crawford and her husband after threatening to release a stolen photo to the tabloids. [L.A. Times]

“Lindsay Lohan’s collaboration was a disaster. I am furious but I can’t do anything about it. That happens to a lot of designers. We were the creators and patrons, responsible for the creation and destiny of our houses. But when we gave up our houses, we gave up our souls.”

—Emanuel Ungaro, founder of the legendary French couture house, discusses his, er, slight disappointment over what’s become of his eponymous fashion line and Lindsay’s involvement in it. [Independent]

Well, this could explain some things if it’s true. RadarOnline has obtained recordings of phone calls between Lindsay Lohan’s parents in which her mother, Dina, claims that Lindsay was secretly dating Heath Ledger when he died early last year. In the recordings, which have been made public by Lindsay’s fame-whorin’ pops who conveniently has deleted all of his dialogue, Dina says that Lindsay needs someone with her at all times to protect her from herself so she won’t die the way Ledger did. “When she’s drunk or takes an Adderall with it she will do something like Heath Ledger did in a second without thinking.” She goes on to reveal that Lindsay had a secret relationship with Ledger at the time of his death. “She was dating Heath when he died. I don’t know if you know that, but I know cause I would drop her off and they were friends very, very close, ok?” She said the sudden and tragic death really ” “f**ked her up.” It seems having Michael as a dad has probably done way more damage to Lindsay. At one point in the call, Dina even claimed: “She cannot be alone. When she sleeps here she sleeps with me ... she has fears from being little and what you did to us.” Someone get this girl some help! [via RadarOnline]

Michael Lohan is so freaking douchey that he makes me wish every day were Father’s Day so I can tell my own dad how amazing he is. After sounding off in the press about Lindsay‘s love life and saying that she has a serious prescription drug problem, Michael has stooped to a new low, releasing embarrassing phone conversations to Radar Online. Hear the first call here—it’s supposedly Lindsay crying to him, though his part of the conversation is conveniently missing and it doesn’t even sound like her. Listen to the second tape, allegedly of Dina talking to Michael about Lindsay. Even worse—Michael’s calling himself a saint for doing this, claiming that this is about publicly pressuring her to go to rehab. Ever since these tapes were released, Lindsay and her dad have been having a public war of words.

We gave you a sneak peek at Lindsay Lohan‘s Spring 2010 collection of 6126 Leggings earlier this month. Well, a few more ad campaign photos have hit the web, and we have to say we’re really disappointed. There’s only so much you can do with a pair of leggings, but briefs-exposure shouldn’t be one of them, right? Well, we’ll give her credit for not jumping on the sequined-leggings bandwagon, for now. After the jump, check out two more photos from the ad campaign shot by celebrity photographers Markus Klinko and Indrani and styled by GK Reid, who will star in Bravo’s new reality show “Double Exposure.”

We’re all relieved that Rachel Bilson may soon get her jeans back—I just don’t know if she’ll want them now that they’ve been worn by someone else. We’re also glad that Paris Hilton has already picked up of big chunk of the $2 million-worth of jewelry stolen from her home. In September, we reported that 18-year-old Nicholas Prugo had been arrested on suspicion that he took part in the burglaries of Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Partridge’s cribs, and we speculated on how long before he turned in his well-accessorized conspirators. Well, now the jig is up for Prugo’s fantastically dressed teen gang. Four teens have been charged in the robberies, and police expect to charge three more.

I am not sure why Lindsay Lohan was photographed for The Sunday Times style mag, but it certainly wasn’t to class up her image! [Egotastic]

Lindsay Lohan has finally been un-banned from Avenue, the club where she famously (?) accused Justin Timberlake of cheating on Jessica Biel via Twitter. She went back to the club twice this week after she, as the New York Post reported, “besieged the management with calls and e-mails to let her back in, and she promised to be on her best behavior.” The behavior management includes abstaining from alcohol—she’s going so far as to send back drinks bought by other guests. [NY Post]

Celebs really have a knack for warming people’s hearts with their charisma and giant heads, but every once in a while, celebs get banned. Dun dun dun.

Is it a headband? A bow-tie? Whatever the case may be, I give this jauntily styled forehead hair bow thing a thumbs-down. You? [New York City, 10/19/09]

• Lindsay Lohan‘s probation extension request has been granted by a Los Angeles Superior Court judge. Supposedly, Lindz has been too busy “working” to complete her substance treatment program. [NY Times]—I couldn’t resist the urge to use that photo again because it’s priceless, and I didn’t want any of you to miss it.
• Maria Shriver has apologized for breaking California’s law forbidding driving and talking on a cell phone without a hands-free device. [McClatchy]—She’s probably more sorry she was caught on camera.
• TLC is suing Jon Gosselin for breaching his “Jon and Kate Plus 8” contract. “The network alleges Gosselin ignored his obligations as an exclusive employee and profited by making unauthorized appearances on other TV programs.” [PopEater]—It’s true, no one would have given a rat’s ass about Jon’s separation from Kate if he didn’t have a TV show.

Lindsay looks a little, er, out of it in court, as she updates the judge on her progress since her 2007 drunk driving incident. [Us Weekly]

We’re scratching our heads after reading an article in today’s WWD titled “Emanuel Ungaro and Lindsay Lohan: Cut From the Same Cloth?” Would this actually be a defense of the star’s widely disliked design debut? It would seem that after Ungaro’s spring/summer 2010 collection showing in Paris, the fashion world had come to a general consensus about Lohan‘s influence: ghastly. Those who weren’t laughing at the gaudy heart-shaped pasties and sequined jackets were reeling from the insensitivity of a high-fashion house selling out so obviously.

Yet, fashion news bible WWD is posing a counter-argument, written like a perfect debate team rebuttal.

Lindsay Lohan posted these tweets, seemingly to explain why she and Samantha Ronson aren’t seen together so much these days. Thank God, because we were so wondering.

I’m starting to think it was a fluke that Lindsay Lohan‘s line of leggings did so well, especially after the failure of the Emanuel Ungaro runway show she influenced and her well-documented, epic fashion disasters. I mean you can’t really mess up a pair of leggings, can you? Now, mom Dina has caught the design bug because, you know, she’s so fashionable. Dina is creating a line of “designer” shoes called Shoe-Han. Can you even design designer shoes if you’re not a designer? Anyway, if you’re seriously interested, then the shoes should be released around Mother’s Day 2010 and will be sold at LoveMyShoes.com, a “popular” retailer on Long Island where the Lohans are from.

“You know why Lindsay’s not acting in feature films right now? Because she can’t. Because the girl with all the talent is hidden and buried deep inside this fungus that’s grown because of the prescription drugs. She can’t be herself. When you hug her she’s like, vacant inside. When she kisses or holds me I get chills, and not in a good way—in a bad way.”

— Michael Lohan discusses daughter Lindsay in an interview with RadarOnline.com. Not to make light of what may very well be a serious drug addiction, but I have a hard time imagining any father getting chills “in a good way” when his daughter “kisses and holds” him. Ew.

• If you’re trying out for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show tomorrow at Yankee Stadium, make sure you bring a bikini, heels and two forms of identification! [The Cut]
• Isaac Mizrahi just opened a new shop in New York because, umm, his psychic told him to. [WWD]
• Want to learn how to recreate the terrifying and cool eye makeup from Balenciaga’s Paris runway show? Makeup artist Pat McGrath dishes. [Style.com]
• Apparently, beer is semi-chic now. Would you wear a gold Budweiser charm? [NYLON]