Tag Archives: lifetime

Wait, Why Did No One Tell Me Tony Goldwyn Is Playing Warren Jeffs In A Lifetime Original Movie?

tony goldwyn warren jeffs
"Do You Feel God?"

There’s no joy quite like the elation of finding out 1) there’s a trashy new Lifetime original movie about fundamentalist Mormons coming out, 2) it stars one of the hot guys in your spank bank, and 3) it’s airing this weekend when you just so happen to have no plans. Introducing “Outlaw Prophet: Warren Jeffs,” a Lifetime original movie debuting this Saturday night. Tony Goldwyn, who plays Fitz on “Scandal,” stars as the fundamentalist polygamist Mormon/cult leader who believes he is a “prophet” and forces the marriages of adult men to underage girls. I’m sure Lifetime will have all sorts of lawyered-up language — “Inspired by true events!” —  but will be accurate enough in a TV movie sorta way. One thing is for sure, I’ll be watching. [My Lifetime]

Lifetime Will Air TV Movie About Behind-The-Scenes On “Saved By The Bell”

  • Well, this is interesting/exciting/strange/cool: Lifetime is airing an TV movie about behind-the-scenes drama on the ’90s TV show “Saved By The Bell.” They’ve even cast six actors who look just like Elizabeth Berkley, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Mario Lopez, and the other kids. You’ll have to wait until Labor Day for it to air! [BuzzFeed, Variety]
  • Take this with a grain of salt because it’s from The National Enquirer, but Orlando Bloom is supposedly pursuing Taylor Swift (even though he had a fling in the past with her friend Selena Gomez, while she was briefly broken up with Justin Bieber — so complicated!). [Celebitchy] Keep reading »

Yaya DaCosta To Star As Whitney Houston In Lifetime Original Movie

  • Former “America’s Top Model” contestant Yaya DaCosta has been cast as the late Whitney Houston in an upcoming Lifetime biopic. “I Will Always Love You: The Whitney Houston Story” will be directed by Angela Bassett, who was Houston’s co-star in “Waiting To Exhale.” [US Weekly]
  • Lil Kim gave birth today to a little girl named Royal Reign. Mazel tov! [VIBE]
  • The special effects guy for “Game Of Thrones” is posting gory pics from the set’s makeup department online. [The AV Club]
  • On young adult literature and reader-shaming. (With bonus book list!) [The Hairpin] Keep reading »

The Incest Vibes Continue In “Petals On The Wind,” Lifetime’s Sequel To “Flowers In The Attic”

The Incest Vibes Continue In "Petals On The Wind," Lifetime's Sequel To "Flowers In The Attic"
Ahhh, Family!

Huzzah! A week from today, I’ll be sleeping in thanks to the Memorial Day holiday and anticipating the premiere of “Petals On The Wind,” Lifetime’s followup to the hugely successful TV movie adaptation of V.C. Andrews’ “Flowers In The Attic.” Rose McIver replaces Kiernan Shipka as now-grown Cathy, and Wyatt Nash plays her manly brother Christopher, but Heather Graham and Ellen Burstyn return as their wicked mother and grandmother. In this sequel, Cathy and Christopher return to Dollanganger Manor and come to face to face with their sordid past — but will they be able to resist temptation as the memories of their time in the attic come rushing back? You’ll have to watch on Monday, May 26 at 9 p.m. to find out! (Or just reread your dogeared copy of the book on the beach this weekend!)

Lifetime Already Planning “Flowers In The Attic” Sequel

Don't Do It, Sally Draper!

Lifetime’s TV movie adaptation of V.C. Andrews’ classic trashy read Flowers in the Attic has not even aired yet, but the network must be confident that incestuous romances are ratings gold, because they’re already planning to produce a sequel. Petals on the Wind is the second book in Andrews’ Dollanganger family series and follows the three remaining children after their escape from their evil grandmother’s attic and their mother’s attempts to poison them. Don’t worry! There’s still plenty of incestuous feelings, creepy old men, and a return to Foxworth Hall, as Cathy (Kiernan Shipka) plots to enact revenge against her mother and grandmother. I can only pray that every other pervert like me, who spent hours locked in their bedrooms, dog-earing the pages of V.C.’s books, actually tunes in for both these films, because I would personally love to see the third and fourth books adapted as well. And then the Casteel family series should be next! I could totally envision Lindsay Lohan as Heaven…

Anyway, “Flowers in the Attic” premiere January 18. Check out the extended trailer above! [Hollywood Reporter]

The Trailer For The Lizzie Borden Lifetime Movie Starring Christina Ricci Has Arrived

SUSPENSE!

In case you were wondering, Christina Ricci is still — somehow — utterly ageless. As as for her Lifetime original movie, “Lizze Bordon Took An Ax,”  well, I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions. [The Mary Sue]

[UPDATE] OMG, The “Flowers In The Attic” Trailer Is Here

trailer park
flowers in the attic
Don't Do It, Sally Draper!

[Update, 5:45p.m.: Damn, the trailer has been removed from the Internet!  Trust us, it was good.]  God bless Lifetime and their trashy, trashy movies. The trailer for the January 2014 remake of “Flowers In The Attic” is here and it’ll give you the heebies-jeebies in only the way a V.C. Andrews erotica about incestuous teenagers locked in an attic by their sadistic grandmother can. Lucky for us, the icky plot is leveled out with some real stars in the cast: “Mad Men”‘s Kiernan Shipka plays Cathy, the sister who falls in love with her brother, Heather Graham plays their troubled mother, and Ellen Burstyn is their psycho grandmother. This looks intense. You know we’re going to watch. [YouTube]

Christina Ricci To Play An Axe Murderer For Lifetime Biopic

Anna Nicole On Lifetime
Agnes Bruckner plays Anna Nicole Smith in Lifetime's movie.
Lifetime's Anna Nicole Smith movie looks bananas. Read More »
"Liz & Dick" Trailer
Lifetime's trailer for "Liz & Dick" is finally here! Read More »
Lifetime For The GOP
Lifetime movies for Republicans who don't understand rape. Read More »
  • Christina Ricci will play the iconic axe murderess Lizzie Borden in an upcoming biopic for Lifetime — which is not the same Lizzie Borden biopic that Chloe Sevigny will star in for HBO. Cable TV needs two axe murderess biopics, apparently! [Contact Music]
  • The Los Angeles D.A. might charge Chris Brown over his fight last January with Frank Ocean. I won’t hold my breath. [TMZ]
  • Never one to keep his mouth shut, Karl Lagerfeld  has trashed Audrey Tatou’s portrayal of Coco Chanel in the 2009 biopic “Coco Before Chanel,” sniffing that Tatou “played it like women’s lib, like Simone de Beauvoir 30 years before The Second Sex.” [NYmag.com]
  • “Trash the dress” photography is a new (batshit insane) theme for wedding photos where the bride and groom ruin her fancy white dress by jumping in a lake or rolling in the mud. [Racked] Keep reading »

Lifetime’s Anna Nicole Smith Movie Looks Bananas

Agnes Bruckner plays Anna Nicole Smith in Lifetime's movie.
Well, This Looks Tragic
Anna Nicole Opera
Somebody made an opera out of Anna Nicole's life. Read More »

I didn’t say it looked good necessarily. This is no “Behind the Candelabra.” But how did Lifetime manage to get real actors like Adam Goldberg and Martin Landeau to appear in their version of the pinup’s life (she’s been dead since 2007)? Oh hell, who am I kidding? I’ll totally be watching on June 29, if only for the scene where Anna Nicole (played by Agnes Bruckner) puts on the clown makeup…

The 8 Best/Worst Moments From “Liz & Dick”

"Liz & Dick" Trailer
Lifetime's trailer for "Liz & Dick" is finally here! Read More »
Lindsay's TV Movie
Lindsay Lohan won the Elizabeth Taylor role for a Lifetime TV movie. Read More »
Lindsay As Liz Taylor
Look at that hair! Lindsay Lohan pulls off 80's-era Liz Taylor. Read More »

So, did everyone watch Lifetime’s sure-to-be-a-classic original movie “Liz & Dick,” starring Lindsay Lohan as Dame Elizabeth Taylor and Grant Bowler as Richard Burton, last night? I did. In fact, I watched it twice, it was that horrifically yet entertainingly bad. Where to begin? Lindsay Lohan’s performance was abominable. It was like she didn’t even try to channel Elizabeth Taylor in the slightest, she just showed up to read some lines in between smoke breaks. She could only maintain Elizabeth’s British accent for half sentences at most, and instead of delivering her lines with Taylor’s trademark bravado, Lohan sounded like she was casually shooting the shit with her weed dealer. Now, the hair and makeup were fabulous, but I could never get past the fact that 26-year-old Lohan was supposed to be playing late-20s/early-30s Liz for most of the film, but that she seemed so much older, thanks to her worn-out raspy voice. Really, the film was unofficially sponsored by Marlboro Reds. Lohan was at her most convincing in the last few moments of the movie, playing ’80s era Liz, which I hope prompts Lifetime to do a sequel called “Liz & Larry,” about Taylor’s relationship with Larry Fortensky.

For the record, the plot could be summed up as follows: Liz and Dick fall in love, Liz and Dick fight, Liz throws a vase at the wall and takes some pills, Liz and Dick make up, Liz and Dick fight again, Liz throws a vase at a wall again, Liz and Dick make up, etc. etc. These scenes are broken up with lovely moments where Liz and Dick talk to the audience from beyonnnnnd the graaaaave — i.e. wearing all black, sitting in director’s chairs and smoking cigs — giving us their “perspective” on what drew them to each other. Spoiler alert: you will not understand a thing about either of these two iconic actors by the end of this film.

For those of you who didn’t get a chance to watch the movie, allow me to review — with clips! — the movie’s best/worst moments. Keep reading »

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