Posts tagged "life after dating"

Life After Dating: Loving A Grad Student Without Going Insane

“Be prepared for a breakup about three weeks from now.” That was the relationship advice I got from a girl in her second year of my boyfriend’s graduate program, just before he started the first semester of his MFA in creative writing.

She had reason to be cynical: grad school means a convoluted…

By: Camille Guillot / December 16, 2014

Life After Dating: Splitting The Holidays

My parents separated during my senior year of high school. That was bad enough, not because I was upset at the time about them separating, but because that first holiday season was weird — my dad was there, but only begrudgingly on my mom’s part — and once the divorce proceedings started and things got…

By: Rebecca Vipond Brink / November 17, 2014

Life After Dating: Is Relationship Advice A Waste Of Time?

I live for good advice, and sometimes I spend a little too much energy attempting to absorb others’ hard-learned lessons into my own life. When I graduated from college, my attempts to gather as much advice as I could from everyone who’d already done it left me so overwhelmed with information that I went o…

By: Claire Hannum / November 11, 2014

Life After Dating: Writing While Coupled

Over the weekend, my boyfriend Michael visited his mom and his sister, who was home from school for the weekend, out in the burbs. He told them he was going to propose to me soon, and his sister said she already knew that because she reads my work. Whoops! I’m so glad I don’t talk…

By: Rebecca Vipond Brink / November 3, 2014

Life After Dating: Sorry, But Sometimes I Just Want A Man To Take Care Of Me

Growing up, I saw singledom as the “default” way to live. My first impression of my (divorced) parents were as singles, and they were carrying on just fine, so I figured that was just the way things were. I managed to remain pretty oblivious to the society-wide pressure to marry longer than most kids, and…

By: Claire Hannum / October 20, 2014

Life After Dating: Moving On From The Past

Yesterday, while I was getting ready to go to CostCo with my boyfriend, Michael, I told him a story a friend had told me about how much her dad hated her grandfather. I said, “I wonder what it’s like to have parents who you really deep-down hate.” Then I paused and thought about it, and…

By: Rebecca Vipond Brink / October 6, 2014

Life After Dating: We Are Family

When you marry someone and sponsor him for immigration, you declare loud and clear for the government, your employers, and your loved ones all to hear that you have created a new family. You gain legal rights and spousal privileges. Your credit ratings affect each other. Your taxes change. You send thank you cards that you both…

By: Jessica Wakeman / September 22, 2014

Life After Dating: Is It Bad That I Keep Nudging My Boyfriend To Propose?

In March, Michael and I met up with my friend and her boyfriend for a double-date. I already knew that they’d gone to look at rings, but their big news that night was that he had gone ahead and bought it, and already talked to her mom and dad about proposing to her. I wa…

By: Rebecca Vipond Brink / September 15, 2014

Life After Dating: My Husband’s Best Friends Are Women & I Think It’s Great

Last week, our new dude dating columnist Dater XY wrote a provocative piece about how his best friend is a woman and some ladies he meets online dating can’t handle that. With a few exceptions, commenters on that piece agreed Dater XY is shit outta luck. “I don’t see a way out of this. I…

By: Jessica Wakeman / September 8, 2014

Life After Dating: Marriage For Introverts

Pretty much everything about Kale and I getting married was untraditional. But we were actually quite traditional by not moving in together until a few days before our wedding.

Kale and I certainly weren’t opposed to premarital cohabitation on principle: both of us had lived with exes in long-term relationships before. We simply…

By: Jessica Wakeman / August 27, 2014

Life After Dating: Trusting A Feeling, Taking A Leap

My boyfriend and I moved in together last July. At the time, we had been dating for just shy of six months.

If a friend had planned to do what I did, and had asked me for advice, I would have told her that it was too soon. “What’s the rush?” I would…

By: Jana Pollack / August 18, 2014

Life After Dating: What’s The Matter With Sleeping In Separate Bedrooms?

I once had a friend whose mom and dad didn’t just sleep in separate beds — they had entirely separately bedrooms in the same apartment. It seemed weird to me when I learned of it, despite the fact I knew nothing about their private relationship. When the parents eventually divorced, I assumed sleeping in separate…

By: Jessica Wakeman / August 11, 2014

Life After Dating: My Relationship Works Because We Ignore Each Other Half The Time

I met Michael six months after I left my previous relationship and was, I think, understandably not eager to get into anything super-committed. It turned out I had good reason to be wary: I was still trying to figure out my sense of what “myself” or “Rebecca” was as an individual after being in a…

By: Rebecca Vipond Brink / August 4, 2014

Life After Dating: First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes … None Of Your Business

Being the youngest in a large family has its advantages: My siblings provided plenty of grandchildren already, so there’s no pressure on me to make more. (Christmas presents are expensive, y’all.) My family has also known since I was 19 — when I fainted while watching my older sister have a sonogram because it grossed…

By: Jessica Wakeman / July 28, 2014

Life After Dating: When Your Partner Is Unemployed

Growing up, my parents were able to provide a stable middle-class upbringing for me, my three sisters and my brother. I can understand now how fortunate we were not to worry about hunger, housing, or medical bills. Although my Mom made a point to show us how privileged we were  — I’m from Fairfield County,…

By: Jessica Wakeman / July 21, 2014

Life After Dating: The Case For Living Separately

My boyfriend Max and I don’t live together, but since it takes about two minutes to walk from my place to his, I sometimes feel like we do. When I first started thinking about moving to his neighborhood, the idea had been to move in with him (we’ve been together two years), but when a…

By: Claire Hannum / July 14, 2014

Life After Dating: Marriage Has Changed My Relationship To Feminism — And That’s OK

My husband and I met  and got married all within five months. Kale had been visiting from Australia on a year-long tourist visa when we fell in love. Marrying not only kept us together, but launched us into a lifetime side-by-side. It didn’t really feel like a choice or a decision; it was obvious to…

By: Jessica Wakeman / July 7, 2014

Life After Dating: What Relationships Can Teach Us That Being Single Can’t (And Vice Versa)

After being in a relationship for 10 years, Nick and I have gotten pretty damn good at dealing with relationship-related issues. We are still learning, of course, and probably always will be, but when it comes to the challenges that arise from sharing a life with someone, we’ve got a solid handle on it. Balancing…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / June 30, 2014

Life After Dating: The Beauty Of Doing Your Own Thing

Here’s a situation most people in long-term relationships have experienced at one time or another:

You really want to do something. Say, a challenging hike that ends at an idyllic waterfall. And you really want your partner to do it with you, because you love spending time with them, don’t want to do it…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / June 23, 2014

Life After Dating: Compromising On Compromise

Yesterday evening, Nick and I were trying to hang up some pictures on a blank wall in the living room, and things were getting tense.

“I think that blue frame should go about a quarter inch to the right.”

“I think it’s fine where it is.”

“But the bottom…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / June 16, 2014
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