Here’s the conundrum: the person who you love most in the world wants to talk about an issue. You’re honored, of course, that they’re coming to you with their dilemma, but at the same time, it’s challenging because you know them so well that you can cut straight through the BS and tell them that this isn’t really about their boss, it’s about their control issues with their father and they better address those first. But you can’t say that because they’ll probably want to punch your in the face for being so right. Being right — rather than empathetic — can be awfully annoying when your partner is having a vulnerable moment. But they need your input. What to do? Tread lightly and carry a tiny stick. Meaning, it’s all in the delivery. Here are some tips to help you master one of the most important relationship skills: how to give your SO guidance without pissing them off. Keep reading »
Winnie The Pooh turns 87 today! 87 long years of Pooh and honey and you know what it made me realize? I want to be five again. Five was the perfect age. Anything looked good on you, and you were basically forced to take naps. What more could a person want out of life?
When you are five you learn most of life’s lessons from cartoons and public programming. You’re taught that sharing is caring and a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. Some of the best advice I’ve ever received came from my childhood heroes. Read more on College Candy…
It was recently brought to my attention that age 28 is often a big, crazy, life-changing year for people. Reasons range from Saturn return to cell turnover to psychological development to societal expectations, but I’m not as interested in the specific explanation as I am in people’s unique experiences at this age. The vast majority of my friends tell me 28 marked a huge shift in their lives, their relationships, their careers, living situations, etc. A very unscientific Twitter poll I conducted yielded similar responses. Anecdotally, at least, it seems that 28 is kind of a big deal.
I’m almost halfway through my 28th year and damn, has this been true for me. I moved across the country, dealt with/am dealing with some intense family transitions, lost and gained some very close friends, and feel like I’m on a path of self growth and acceptance that is simultaneously scary and rewarding.
I’d love to hear about what 28 was like for you. Was it challenging, empowering, horrible, wonderful, liberating, enraging, intense, or wholly forgettable? Please indulge my curiosity and share your experience in the comments!
[Photo of 28 via Shutterstock]
Yesterday I tweeted that I was taking an abstract painting class in an effort to cure my perfectionism (more on that later!). I got a reply from a woman I didn’t know with a link to a video. At first I thought it was spam (if you use Twitter, you know that most replies from random women asking you to watch a video are not exactly wholesome propositions), but luckily for me the woman was Jennifer Gresham of Everyday Bright, and the video turned out to be a really inspiring little snippet of wisdom. If you’re a perfectionist, I highly recommend pushing play. [YouTube]
Last week, I dropped my boyfriend off at work at 6 a.m. and took a long walk through the city. I watched the sun rise over the river and pondered the meaning of life. I sipped a coffee and brainstormed some story ideas as I smiled at strangers who passed me on the nearly empty streets. When I got home, I felt so simultaneously calm and inspired that I sat down on my bed and meditated for 10 minutes even though I’m not really sure how to meditate (I always think if my spirit doesn’t levitate over my body I’m doing it wrong). “I am so living my best life right now,” I thought between deep breaths. “I’m meditating before work! Dalai Lama status!”
After I finished kinda-meditating, I felt so energized and inspired that I thought, I’m going to write a super inspiring quote on the dry erase board in my office to keep riding this wave of spiritual enlightenment! So I walked out to my car to grab a dry erase marker I’d bought a few days earlier. On my way, I literally stopped to smell a flower. I felt so happy and calm, you guys. And then I went to go back inside to finish off my perfect morning, and the door knob wouldn’t turn. In my calm, spiritually centered haze, I had locked myself out of the house, 10 minutes before work. I was wearing my high school gym shorts, a transparent tank top, and no shoes. “Shit!” I said loud enough to be heard by the impressionable children at the daycare center two houses down. I no longer felt like the Dalai Lama at all. Keep reading »
Lately I’ve been thinking about the things we believe we can’t do, and how many of them we actually end up doing at some point in our lives. For me, moving across the country and dealing with my brother being deployed are two things that fall in that category. I’m not saying these are the pinnacle achievements of the human experience or anything, but for me, personally, these were two things I never thought I could do, and this year I did/am doing both. I asked the rest of the Frisky ladies to tell me their “Oh my God, I just did that” accomplishments, and it turns out we’ve proved ourselves wrong and pushed our own limits in everything from sex and relationships to skydiving and facing our fears of chickens. Check out our list below, and please share your own in the comments! Keep reading »
Before Beyonce, before Britney, before Mariah and all the others, there was Madonna Louise Ciccone. She’s done a lot through the years, some questionable, some awesome, but all unique and great. Without Madonna, we wouldn’t know about La Isla Bonita or the empowering effect latex has on your sex life. Without Madonna, we wouldn’t have “All The Way” Mae Mordabito from “A League Of Their Own” or everyone’s karaoke standby “Like A Prayer.” In honor of Madge’s 55th birthday, we’re taking a look at the gems of wisdom she’s given us through song. Here are Madonna’s lessons in life and love — in GIFs! Keep reading »
We’ve all been there. Your sister is sunning herself in Hawaii, your bestie is exploring Europe, your Facebook friends are checking in to luxury hotels in faraway lands, your Instagram feed is full of high-contrast pictures of airplane wings, and you’re … sitting at home watching an episode of “Chopped” you’ve already seen three times, feeling increasingly bitter about your stagnant lifestyle. It’s called Vacation Envy, and it can strike any of us at any time, no matter how often we actually travel. It can be triggered by a travel blog, a Facebook status, a coworker returning to work with a deep tan, or the sight of Anthony Bourdain’s smug little face.
How do you recover when you’re always dropping people off at the airport and never getting dropped off yourself? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Read on for some signs that you’re suffering from Vacation Envy, and some practical ways to deal. Good luck! Keep reading »
A couple weeks ago, I clicked on a Twitter link from a website I follow that used to be an interesting mix of entertainment and weird news stories, but has recently devolved into link-baiting sensationalism. The link said something like, “Chinese woman dies in freak accident with runaway shopping cart. Watch the video here!” It was early, I was groggy, and I clicked the link. I don’t know what I was expecting (seriously, what the fuck was I expecting?!), but what I watched was indeed a video of a woman getting smashed against a wall by a runaway shopping cart. It was horrible and extremely upsetting. It was also a wake up call: I hadn’t even had my coffee yet, and I’d already WATCHED SOMEONE DIE — I really, really needed to overhaul my online habits. Keep reading »
Until yesterday, I had been enjoying this summer from the
comfort discomfort of my un-air conditioned, fourth floor walk-up apartment. In May I was all, “I can totally do this! It’s not even hot out yet!” but by July my tune turned to, “I just want to take a cold shower and sit in the dark in front of my fan. No one talk to me.” That’s when I hit rock bottom, as it were, and started looking for opportunities to cool down nearly every place I went.
I was the crazy lady asking for six cups of ice from Starbucks, the eager employee who would stay late just to enjoy extra time in front of an AC. And that was really just the tip of the quickly melting iceberg. Last night I knew I had to buy an air conditioning unit, because these awkward and absurd beat the heat techniques started sounding like heaven to me. Read more on College Candy…