The bloating of Thanksgiving and the bloodshed of Black Friday are behind us, and now Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s celebrations are ahead of us. It’s the most joyous time of the year, right? You’re ridiculously happy and emotionally stable right now, aren’t you? Not so much? Yeah, me neither. For one thing, we’re down to about three hours of cold, gray daylight every day. Seriously, yesterday I thought I’d pop out for a walk at the reasonable time of 3:45, but it was already so dark I would have needed one of those spelunking headlamps to safely navigate my neighborhood streets. At the risk of sounding like an emo poem I wrote in 7th grade, constant darkness outside is enough to make me feel constantly dark inside.
Whether it’s family drama, bad weather, relationship problems, financial issues, cabin fever, or some crappy combination of all of the above, a lot of people I know are having a rough time right now. How can you navigate the hyper-joyful holiday seasons when you’re not feeling so merry yourself? Well, here are 8 things to try… Keep reading »
As a shy and insecure girl, I know that those traits have totally hindered me. Combined with an acute case of social anxiety, they made my adolescence and most of my college years a horrific blur of self doubt and thwarted potential – from missing out on friendships to not applying to the colleges I really wanted to go to for fear of rejection and/or starting my life from scratch. While being terrified to order in restaurants or raise my hand in class were definitely impediments, my social life suffered the most. I always sucked at making friends – I never thought I was worthy of the company of the girls I admired and that stopped me from pursuing or encouraging overtures. Even after finally forging platonic bonds, talking to guys always paralyzed me. It was such that the first guy who ever deigned to kiss me drunkenly admitted that he usually found me intimidating and unapproachable.
I didn’t realize that I was coming across this way, and it made me re-evaluate my thoughts and my behavior. Eventually, with time and concerted effort to change my thinking, I started to become more comfortable around dudes, thus increasing the frequency of sexy time occurrences. Gaining confidence can be such a struggle, but you can totally do it. Read more…
Travel is good for us. Leaving familiar surroundings pushes us out of our comfort zone, introduces us to new cultures and experiences, and allows us to view the world–and our own life–with a different perspective. Basically, any time you get a chance to travel, take it. As you check things off your travel bucket list, take a gander at this list of seven kinds of trips every woman should take in her lifetime. And tell us: how many have you done so far? Which journey are you most excited for? Keep reading »
I believe that traveling is always a good experience (even a terrible vacation will give you stories to tell for years to come), but who you choose to travel with will make a big difference in what kind of experience you have. A cross-country road trip with your three best friends will be very different than a cross-country road trip with your dad, for example. And that dream trip to the Great Wall of China? Should you go it alone or take your boyfriend along? Click through to find out the pros and cons of different travel partners, and please share your own travel partner preferences in the comments!
This piece is part of The Frisky’s How To Deal Week, in which we’re tackling mental health issues.
I suppose in some ways I was destined to become a control freak. I was born into a proud dynasty of control freaks. My family is Italian, and growing up it was made very clear to me that a woman’s job is to keep everyone–especially the men–in line. Not only was I the oldest child, I was the only girl with three younger brothers, so I had a big job to do. If one of my brothers did something dumb, I could expect a call from my grandma asking why I’d “let him act that way.” “You have to control your brothers,” my great aunt would tell me as she rolled out biscotti dough. “If you don’t, who will?” Keep reading »
This summer, my younger brother is getting married. (I would like, before going any further with this subject, to state in no uncertain terms that I very much like the young lass he’s chosen for his bride.) When he got engaged, I immediately started working on my plan for what I’d do if I were still single when his big day came; as it happens, the Single Older Sister at the Younger Sibling’s Wedding is a rather frequent occurrence.
As luck would have it, I no longer need this plan – but here it is; I can only hope will provide you with the littlest bit of entertainment/assistance, should you need it. Keep reading »
I wasn’t always good at negotiating. As a writer, I was usually just delighted to be getting paid anything at all, so if I was told a freelance rate or a starting salary was standard or set in stone, I took it and I liked it, with the kind of deranged enthusiasm that you only have at the beginning — until a few years ago, when I walked into my boss’ office and quit my job. I didn’t have another full time job lined up; I quit so I could freelance full time.
Suddenly, I had to hustle. I was pitching stories sometimes multiple times a week, and negotiating a rate for each and every one. I wasn’t great at it at first—it was scary to ask for more money even when an assignment clearly called for it. But I did, again and again. Soon, I had it down—I was successfully negotiating for a higher rate more often than I wasn’t, I found a steady freelance gig I could count on for steady cash-flow, and by the end of my second year freelancing, I was raking in more than I had ever made when I had a full time job.
Anyway, so just wanted to share all my good fortune. Hope you guys are good, we should totes get together for a drink sometime, byeeeee.
Oh, wait, you wanted some advice for how you can become a better negotiator too? Sure, I’ve got that.
Keep reading »
Are you ready for Mother’s Day? No? Here are a few gift ideas if you need some last-minute help! Thank you for tweeting and emailing us the lessons your mother taught you — but don’t forget to tell her this Sunday!