Tag Archives: life advice

Make It Work: How To Tackle The Job Search Without Losing Your Shit

Make It Work: How To Tackle The Job Search Without Losing Your Shit

Losing your job sucks. There’s no two ways around it. It’s a really shitty feeling to go into work one Wednesday, sit down at your desk, answer three emails and then be summarily dismissed. Regardless of whether you were fired or let go, it still stings. After you leave the office for the last time, carrying the contents of your cubicle in a box, you wander the streets, unsure of what to do with yourself. You are sure that every person you pass knows that you’re unlovable, unwanted by your former employer, worthless. This is not true. You were simply released from the shackles of one job and are now free to explore other avenues. This can be a time of excitement and change, if you choose. I have been unemployed an awful lot. The first time was a nightmare, the second time was a little better, and the third was long, but ultimately rewarding. I’ve learned some valuable lessons about the job search along the way. Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “My Best Friend Won’t STFU About Her New Boyfriend”

Make It Stop: "My Best Friend Won't STFU About Her New Boyfriend"

My best friend is in a new relationship. I’m really happy for her, but it seems like she ONLY wants to gab about this new fella, who I’ll call Louis. We talk about Louis for—I’m not kidding—hours on end. She doesn’t even ask about how my day’s going, she just talks endlessly about this guy: basically what she loves about him (his wicked sense of humor and kickass bedroom skills) and what she’s hesitant about (his exorbitant student loans, his ex-girlfriend who he swears is “crazy”). Her thoughts on this guy are a faucet that I can’t turn off. These conversations are taking up a lot of my time, which is a problem because between work and school, my free time is at a premium. Louis is sexy! Louis is great! Louis wants to name their (hypothetical children) Clementine and Zachary! That’s all fantastic; but I’d rather be catching up on “Homeland” episodes than hearing about the ins and outs of her new relationship for the millionth time. Please, make it stop!

I understand the rush of finding a new love. You want to scream it from the rooftops: “I found someone who doesn’t suck! Life is good! Now I can one of those people who write #blessed at the end of status updates unironically!” Keep reading »

Make It Work: How To Quit Your Job

Make It Work: How To Quit Your Job

There comes a time in everyone’s career when you will quit your job. You will stand in your boss’s doorway, cock your head and say, “Do you have sec?” You will quietly shut the door. You will sit down in that weird chair reserved for guests and your boss’s jacket, palms sweating, and tell him or her that you have found a new job, or are moving to Sweden, or are starting grad school in the fall. You will tell them that you are very sorry, but the time has come for you to part ways. Your boss will accept this with grace and, if they are a nice boss and a decent person, a congratulations. You will make a plan for departure. You will leave the office that day with the weight of a million hours’ of shitty emails and bad vibes off your shoulders, completely, and for good. Congratulations, you just quit your job! Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “An Old (Married!) Friend From High School Is Putting The Moves On Me On Social Media”

Make It Stop: "An Old (Married!) Friend From High School Is Putting The Moves On Me On Social Media"

I’m in a happy, committed relationship. I just reconnected with a friend from high school who has a spouse and a daughter, and although it was fun to hang out, immediately after we did so, he started flirting with me and talking about how he had feelings for me in high school. It’s clear that he still does, and that’s fine, but I don’t have any feelings for him — or anyone but my boyfriend! Now I feel like I have to avoid him, but he keeps trying to talk to me on social media. What do I do?

There’s no need to jeopardize your happy relationship over some dud’s lame attempt at a cheap ego boost. You could block him, or unfriend him, or do nothing. I love doing nothing as a response because it’s easy and free! Eventually he’ll get the hint.

You could be direct and say, “I’m not interested. Please stop,” but I don’t want to make it more dramatic than it needs to be.

As for me, depending on how comfortable with him, I’d probably make a joke out of it. Like next time you see him out and he starts chatting you up, give him some sass. Keep reading »

Thinking About Quitting Your Job? Follow Karlie Hustle’s Advice!

Thinking About Quitting Your Job? Follow Karlie Hustle's Advice!
How To Quit Your Job

I’m not thinking about quitting my job, but if I was, I would follow Karlie Hustle’s advice to the letter. Hustle recently quit her job at New York City’s Hot 97 radio station — you may recognize her from the VH1 reality show “This Is Hot 97″ — to pursue new opportunities, including launching her own line of wooden bow ties. But she didn’t do it without first making sure that she was in the right financial state and mindset to branch out on her own, and she’s sharing her tips in her regular YouTube series, “How To Quit Your Job.” Honestly, the advice is so to-the-point and solid, I think it’s actually helpful for those who aren’t quitting their jobs, but want to launch a side project or get a better handle on their money. So far, she’s done nine step videos and one check-in video about her own progress since quitting her job less than two months ago. Get inspired by watching above! [YouTube]

Make It Stop: “All The Guys I Date End Up Being Really Self-Absorbed”

Make It Stop: "All The Guys I Date End Up Being Really Self-Absorbed"

I’m 31 and live in Brooklyn. My problem: I keep attracting perfectly nice, smart, but utterly self-absorbed men. I’m a giver and a nurturer. I like listening to other people talk about their problems/interests/days/whatever. I like offering advice and think I’m good at it. I truly am happy to show my partners that I l care for and support them in whatever way I can, but despite the variety of “types” of guys I date — funny nerds! quiet writers! outgoing ad sales dudes! — and the fun we have together, they do very little to offer as much support/attention/interest as I give them. They don’t ask me as in-depth of questions, they aren’t as giving in the bedroom, they don’t seem as concerned or caring when I’m having a hard time. I try to lead by example, and I don’t want be LESS kind/nurturing/supportive as some sort of test or just to prove that I’m not a doormat. I like being a generous person, I just don’t understand why I can’t find a partner who’s as willing to be generous towards me. What am I doing wrong?

The kinds of guys who are attracted to living in New York City—driven, ambitious, self-starters—can be the same kinds of people who can be challenging to date. Sure, they look great on paper (who doesn’t love an employed fella!) but they didn’t always make the most fantastic partners. You know why? It’s because they put their energy and emotion into their career, not their personal life. And they may be willing to share dinner with you, but they aren’t as willing to share their heart. It is incredibly frustrating. Keep reading »

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