Tag Archives: life advice

Make It Stop: “An Old (Married!) Friend From High School Is Putting The Moves On Me On Social Media”

Make It Stop: "An Old (Married!) Friend From High School Is Putting The Moves On Me On Social Media"

I’m in a happy, committed relationship. I just reconnected with a friend from high school who has a spouse and a daughter, and although it was fun to hang out, immediately after we did so, he started flirting with me and talking about how he had feelings for me in high school. It’s clear that he still does, and that’s fine, but I don’t have any feelings for him — or anyone but my boyfriend! Now I feel like I have to avoid him, but he keeps trying to talk to me on social media. What do I do?

There’s no need to jeopardize your happy relationship over some dud’s lame attempt at a cheap ego boost. You could block him, or unfriend him, or do nothing. I love doing nothing as a response because it’s easy and free! Eventually he’ll get the hint.

You could be direct and say, “I’m not interested. Please stop,” but I don’t want to make it more dramatic than it needs to be.

As for me, depending on how comfortable with him, I’d probably make a joke out of it. Like next time you see him out and he starts chatting you up, give him some sass. Keep reading »

Thinking About Quitting Your Job? Follow Karlie Hustle’s Advice!

Thinking About Quitting Your Job? Follow Karlie Hustle's Advice!
How To Quit Your Job

I’m not thinking about quitting my job, but if I was, I would follow Karlie Hustle’s advice to the letter. Hustle recently quit her job at New York City’s Hot 97 radio station — you may recognize her from the VH1 reality show “This Is Hot 97″ — to pursue new opportunities, including launching her own line of wooden bow ties. But she didn’t do it without first making sure that she was in the right financial state and mindset to branch out on her own, and she’s sharing her tips in her regular YouTube series, “How To Quit Your Job.” Honestly, the advice is so to-the-point and solid, I think it’s actually helpful for those who aren’t quitting their jobs, but want to launch a side project or get a better handle on their money. So far, she’s done nine step videos and one check-in video about her own progress since quitting her job less than two months ago. Get inspired by watching above! [YouTube]

Make It Stop: “All The Guys I Date End Up Being Really Self-Absorbed”

Make It Stop: "All The Guys I Date End Up Being Really Self-Absorbed"

I’m 31 and live in Brooklyn. My problem: I keep attracting perfectly nice, smart, but utterly self-absorbed men. I’m a giver and a nurturer. I like listening to other people talk about their problems/interests/days/whatever. I like offering advice and think I’m good at it. I truly am happy to show my partners that I l care for and support them in whatever way I can, but despite the variety of “types” of guys I date — funny nerds! quiet writers! outgoing ad sales dudes! — and the fun we have together, they do very little to offer as much support/attention/interest as I give them. They don’t ask me as in-depth of questions, they aren’t as giving in the bedroom, they don’t seem as concerned or caring when I’m having a hard time. I try to lead by example, and I don’t want be LESS kind/nurturing/supportive as some sort of test or just to prove that I’m not a doormat. I like being a generous person, I just don’t understand why I can’t find a partner who’s as willing to be generous towards me. What am I doing wrong?

The kinds of guys who are attracted to living in New York City—driven, ambitious, self-starters—can be the same kinds of people who can be challenging to date. Sure, they look great on paper (who doesn’t love an employed fella!) but they didn’t always make the most fantastic partners. You know why? It’s because they put their energy and emotion into their career, not their personal life. And they may be willing to share dinner with you, but they aren’t as willing to share their heart. It is incredibly frustrating. Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “My BFF Won’t Stop Competing With Me And Copying Everything I Do!”

Make It Stop: "My BFF Won't Stop Competing With Me And Copying Everything I Do!"

Make It Stop is a new weekly column in which Anna Goldfarb — the blogger behind Shmitten Kitten and Shlooby Kitten — tells you what’s up. Want a fresh take on a stinky dilemma? Email anna@shmittenkitten.com with the subject “Make It Stop.” She’ll make it all better, or at least make you laugh. Girl Scout’s honor.

This week, we’ve got a competitive, copycatting best friend and a overly chatty coworker to contend with… Keep reading »

10 Tips For College Ladies (From A Recent College Grad)

10 Tips For College Ladies (From A Recent College Grad)

Life would be so much better if we could have a yearly chat with our past, present and future selves, where we share pressing details about the future and give ourselves necessary advice. Sadly, that is not the case and we often go through new, life-changing experiences — like college — with little help or guidance. Luckily, we do still have the opportunity to learn from those who have done it before and are willing to impart some gems of knowledge gained through experience. Since I could not share these tips with myself back when I was in college, I figured I’d do the next best thing: share them with The Frisky readers. Keep reading »

4 Essential Travel Tips For The Chronically Anxious

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4 Essential Travel Tips For The Chronically Anxious

So if we’re not all clear on the fact that I deal with sometimes-crippling anxiety as a result of PTSD yet, let’s just put that out there now. I tried to cure it by going on a big adventure, thereby exposing myself to constant emotional stimulation/isolation and it turned out to be an unsuccessful ploy that made me want to just hole up at home for several months straight (which, basically, I did).

The thing is, there are still good reasons to travel, on occasion. In June I went to Madison for father’s day; I went to New York last month to see the final weekend of Kara Walker’s Domino installation and meet some writing colleagues in person (note: Amelia and Jessica are cool online but even cooler in person), and then toward the end of the month I went to Colorado for a family reunion (/introducing the beau to the fam). I’ll be going to Austin probably three times in the next year, for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and SXSW; and Michael and I have talked about maybe visiting DC and Philadelphia next year because they’ve got free museums and museums are life (OK, that’s my reason if not his).

In other words, I like traveling. But it still makes me feel like I’m drowning, though: When I was in New York I got so overwhelmed by the whole hostel experience that I had to beg a couch from a friend (who was happy to oblige, thankfully), and I had panic attacks in Colorado induced by a feeling of both spending way too much time with the people I love and not being productive enough work-wise (yes, this merits a panic attack — think fear of failure/rejection), in addition to just not being at home, in my safe space. Slowly but surely, the more I travel, the more I’m learning what I can do to enjoy myself and have an enriching experience while not going crazy. Keep reading »

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