Tag Archives: libido loss

Sex With Susannah: I Have Zero Libido!

I am a 25-year-old in my first long-term relationship. We have been dating for nine months, and it is going swimmingly. He is smart, kind, and generous. Here’s the problem: I have zero libido. I mean zero. I don’t want sex, I get no pleasure out of having sex (nor out of masturbation), and I certainly can’t orgasm. However, I WANT to want sex and enjoy it (duh!). This is causing relationship problems — he is frustrated that he can’t get me off, and I am frustrated that I can’t get off (not to mention worried about what the hell is wrong with me). I have never had sexual responses with anyone, including myself, so this definitely isn’t his fault, although he feels like it is. The doctor tells me it’s in my head. The sex therapist tells me that if I haven’t been abused, my problem must not be real (thank god I have not, although I maintain that my problem is real). There are no other sex therapists in my town, and most books seem directed at post-menopausal libido loss. What can I do?! I am frustrated and stressed about this (which I’m sure doesn’t help), but I need help. – Love’s Libido Lost

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