Remember last week when we shared a deep thought from Levi Johnston‘s Twitter page, and Wednesday night when William Shatner did a dramatic reading of Levi’s tweets? Well, those words were not actually written by our favorite Alaskan hunk. That’s right, Levi has a Twitter imposter, just like Tina Fey and “Hour of Power” televangelist Robert H. Schuller. Levi’s lawyer is on the case—he’s demanding that Twitter take the page down and that Conan O’Brien, who introduced that William Shatner segment with the sentence “All real ... we did not make these up,” retract the segment. Sorry, I understand if you need a good cry now. [Huffington Post]

We are a nation obsessed: with Levi Johnston‘s penis, apparently. The Daily Beast digs deep, wondering: “Can Levi Johnston Save Playgirl?” Methinks not. Along with many other magazines, Playgirl all but tanked last year, thanks to plummeting advertising rates, decreased circulation, and the proliferation of online adult content. But the Playgirl brand lingers, and the company plans to reinvent the magazine in the new millennium, courtesy of a series of high-profile spreads. Daniel Nardicio, a consultant brought in to lead the charge, hasn’t previewed what Levi has to offer; although, he adds, “We wouldn’t turn away Levi if he had a small penis.” How generous. Which male celebrities have bared their bods for Playgirl during its illustrious past? Get an eyeful in the slide show. [The Daily Beast]

My weird obsession with Levi Johnston has only been made that much more die-hard ever since I discovered his Twitter. Unfortunately, Levi recently made his feed private (unlike his soon-to-be-seen wang), but not before my beloved Captain Kirk William Shatner got a hold of the best ones for a reading on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien.”

Oh, no! Frisky favorite Levi Johnston is having some type of penis-related existential crisis prior to his upcoming nudie Playgirl pictorial. The New York Post reports that Levi is worried about the size of his pecker. “We hear that the father of Sarah Palin’s grandson has been telling folks at the magazine he is worried about how his manhood may look during the shoot.” What if he’s a grower, not a shower? What if when he takes it all off, he doesn’t measure up? The purported shoot location is, unsurprisingly, an ice rink (nice, er, puck?), and rumor has it Levi is worried the chill may cause some unflattering shrinkage. Levi’s man-friend Tank says it ain’t so, but perhaps an on-set fluffer would be in order? [New York Post]

Levi Johnston has more than a foot in his mouth and a soon-to-be-revealed snake in his pants—he’s got wit too! [Twitter]

As you, my pervy friends, already know, Levi Johnston is posing this month for Playgirl. While it remains to be seen whether or not he’ll do full-frontal, just yesterday, the young Johnston tweeted, “Would you show your WANG for $35,000?” Now that’s a big sum of money; we're not sure how much per inch that would work out to for Levi -- but would it get you to take it all off?

“We have purposefully ignored the mean spirited, malicious and untrue attacks on our family. We, like many, are appalled at the inflammatory statements being made or implied. Trig is our ‘blessed little angel’ who knows it and is lovingly called that every day of his life. [...] Consider the source ... Those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention.”

—Sarah Palin responds to comments Levi Johnston made on CBS’s “The Early Show” yesterday that she has referred to her infant son, Trig, who has Down syndrome, as “retarded.” [via People.com]

Attention Levi Johnston: show us your wang in Playgirl or go back to your kid in Wasilla. We’re tired of you complaining publicly about Sarah Palin, especially since you don’t have any new dirt!

Thank God someone is here to ask the really important questions in life. [Twitter]

I know you’re all sitting on the edge of your seats waiting to see whether Levi Johnston, Sarah Palin’s grandbaby-daddy, is gonna go full frontal in his upcoming Playgirl spread, but I have some bad news: you’re going to have to wait a little longer. Levi tells Star magazine he hasn’t yet decided whether he’ll show his johnston or not. “I don’t know. I’m going to decide that on the fly. I want to keep it classy. I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.” Oh, come on, Levi, why start worrying about regret, now? Asked what his ex-fiance and mother of his baby, Bristol Palin, thinks about his Playgirl shoot, Levi replied: “We don’t really talk anymore,” before quickly adding, “except about the baby, my son. That’s about it.” [via NY Daily News]

Well, at least according to this imaginative artistic rendering created by illustrator Drew Friedman. But, really, why not? We here at The Frisky are waiting with bated breath for Sarah Palin‘s grandbaby-daddy Levi Johnston to take it all off for Playgirl. Why wouldn’t his mother-in-law-never-to-be be a little curious about what the young buck looks like in the buff? Of course, who knows how much he’ll actually show in the magazine spread. If he pulls a Burt Reynolds, his package may remain a mystery to us and the vice president who wasn’t. [The Daily What]

I see London, I see France, I’m gonna see what’s in Levi Johnston‘s underpants. He’s going to be taking it all off for Playgirl! Levi’s lawyer said yesterday it’s a “foregone conclusion” that he’ll pose for the mag and that the images will be online by the end of the year. He also revealed that Levi’s hired a personal trainer and is working out three hours a day, six days a week to get ready for the photo shoot. Though judging from photos we’ve already seen, maybe he doesn’t need that much work? [People]

I thought Sarah Palin was the nutty one, but Bristol‘s baby daddy, Levi Johnston, is now hawking nuts—yes, nuts—in a groan-inducing sexually provocative commercial for Wonderful Pistachios. Clever, Levi, but I am still holding out for Alaska’s finest to pose for nudie pics!

I have mixed feelings about Levi Johnston. On the one hand, he’s hot. But on the other, he’s one of those people who just won’t go away. So I’m laughing pretty hard at this hilarious song “Levi Johnston’s Blues” by Ben Folds and Nick Hornby. In the tune, the musician and novelist rip into the Alaskan big papa, portraying him as ignorant, childish and just plain ridic. Ben and Nick poke fun at the Palins while they’re at it. My fave line: “I get on my dirtbike and ride to my girl’s. I’m gonna lay down the law and tell her what’s goin on. I’m a #&@$% redneck I like to hang out with the boys, play some hockey, do some fishin’ and kill some moose.”

The Vanity Fair “Me and Mrs. Palin” article by Levi Johnston—which he appears to not have “written” so much as dictated to the editors—is the juiciest, gooeyiest, gossipiest smear I’ve ever sunk my teeth into. Did you know Sarah Palin wanted her and the First Dude to secretly adopt Bristol and Levi’s baby, Tripp, so no one would know her teen daughter had been pregnant?!?! Or that Cindy McCain offered to let Bristol and Levi marry at the White House if McCain won?!?! Allegedly.

But beneath all the gossip that supports the theory that, yes, these chuckleheads and their hunting gear are just as ridic as we’ve always thought they were, Levi (and the Vanity Fair editors who approved his piece) tells another story: Sarah Palin is a bad mother and wife. As much as I dislike the Alaskan ex-governor’s character as a politician, that particular story is not one that’s fair to tell.

And he also spills the beans. In the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, Levi Johnston says that there wasn’t much parenting in the Palin household, that Sarah wanted to keep Bristol’s pregnancy a secret and then adopt the child when it was born, and that she quit her job as governor so she could make triple the money writing a book. Do we believe him? Maybe. Regardless, it will make for a very entertaining read! [Vanity Fair]

Sure, Levi Johnston is easy on the eyes, but can the hockey hunk write? We’re guessing probably not. Why, then, is Vanity Fair publishing a piece by Levi titled “Me And Sarah Palin” when there are real journalists who would die for a byline in the national magazine? Clearly, Levi is dumb as rocks, but his handlers have brilliantly steered him off-course from D-list celebrity nude pix doom to the respectable pages of VF. Levi’s cover story is not online yet, so we have to wait for whatever fresh angle Bristol Palin‘s baby daddy could possibly cast on Alaska’s ex-guv. But we already know she’s shady as hell, alright? [Vanity Fair]

I am not the only one with a raging crush on stupid-hot Levi Johnston. After Levi told a reporter that he would consider going nude for the right price, StraightCollegeMen.com—a gay porn site which features straight men, uh, nekkid and stuff—wrote an open letter to the Alaskan stud, offering $25,000 for a “solo jerk off video.” Officially a hot commodity, New York-based gay blog Queerty.com, upped the ante by offering him double. Will Levi drop trou and get down to business for $50K? Or will another, higher offer come in? We’ll keep you posted. [BuzzFeed]

I bet no one saw this coming: Levi Johnston, Sarah Palin’s grandbaby-daddy, admits that he’d totally pose naked for the right price. “It depends on the money, man,” he says from his hometown of Wasilla, Alaska in a Skype interview with Bravo’s Andy Cohen. Any chance the “right price” could come from a gay publication? Cohen reminds Levi he’s become somewhat of a “gay pin-up boy.” And since he escorted gay icon Kathy Griffin to the Teen Choice Awards last week and then appeared with her in a hilarious segment on “Larry King Live” the next night, we bet his gay following has only quadrupled in the last few days. “I think it’s great, man,” Levi says. “Um, I just like my fans. Just another person.”

As we told you yesterday, Kathy Griffin and Sarah Palin‘s grandbaby-daddy, Levi Johnston, are, like, totally Demi and Ashton 2.0. Well, they escorted each other to the Teen Choice Awards Sunday evening anyway, and last night they appeared together on “Larry King Live” to dish about their date, and you know what? I think we may have underestimated ol’ Levi.

Kathy Griffin is a tough broad to handle and, albeit with a little help from his “chew,” Levi can totally hold his own with her. “Well, you’re a lot to take care of,” Levi says in his slow, sheepish drawl when Kathy berates him for his bad habit and then goes on to make sexually suggestive comments for the duration of their interview. I know Kathy loves her gays, but Levi makes such an excellent straight man to her goofy-crazy, she might want to consider taking him on the road. Forget “My Life on the D-List,” I want to see these two starring in their very own version of “The Newlyweds.”