“It was passionate. We’re playing Joan Jett and Cherie Curie and they’re best friends in the film and became really close in real life. And that’s something that went down back in the ‘70s.”

—Dakota Fanning on the kiss she shares with co-star Kristen Stewart in the upcoming biopic “The Runways.” I like how Dakota makes the ‘70s sound like ye olden times. [ShowbizSpy]

The media loves shy, awkward, lippy Kristen Stewart. Yes, we love her! She’s shell-shocked and seemingly reticent, yet she still says the darnedest things. This week on “Conan,” she snapped our attention right back where it belongs—on her—as she overshared: “I think it’s weird that we have underwear with Taylor’s face on it.”

Here are some more of Kristen’s best quotes.

We don’t mean to sound harsh here, but it’s probably wise for Kristen Stewart to buckle down and get a stylist, or at least replace the one she’s presently working with, if she has one. She’s been looking a bit off at “New Moon” events all week, but when it comes to this getup, we can remain silent no more. Look closely at this very odd dress and notice the ill fit, unflattering silhouette and see-through panels that reveal her panty line and side boobs. What in the hell is going on here? Yes, the sheer trend is, like, a thing now, but it’s definitely one of those proceed-with-caution trends. We’re not even sure The Fashion Peacekeepers could find anything positive to say about this frock. It’s just puzzling.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are looking a lot less chummy today then they did holding hands at the airport. Man, these kids deserve an Oscar for looking miserable on the red carpet. [Madrid, 11/12/09]

Further proof that the worst-kept “who effing cares?” secret in the world is true: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been photographed holding hands. [Paris, France, 11/10/09]

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are being even more confusing than usual this week. The December issue of Harper’s Bazaar hits newsstands soon, featuring the pair on the cover and in a hyper-romantic photo spread. The cover story is essentially all about their relationship—their first meeting (auditioning for “Twilight” and being thrown into a make-out scene together) and who is more romantic (Rob, apparently). Heck, for half of the story, the two even play the “Newlywed Game,” answering questions about who spends more time on their hair, who is more egotistical, and who is more superstitious. But wait, what’s this? In an Entertainment Weekly roundtable interview yesterday, Kristen got crazy worked-up and dropped a few f-bombs when asked about whether they are dating. Yeah, it’s really hard to understand why people want to know when you FAN THE FREAKING FLAMES.

Check out the photos and the best quotes from these interviews after the jump.

• Robert Pattinson denies rumors that he and Kristen Stewart are dating in the December issue of Vanity Fair. Also in the story, he says he thinks he resembles a cartoon character and that one of his legs is longer than the other. [Vanity Fair]—This could be the first time the Tiger Beat crowd will rush to purchase a copy of Vanity Fair.
• Lindsay Lohan and Gerard Butler reportedly got cozy in Morocco on Sunday night, locking lips on the dance floor and then leaving together. [NY Daily News]—If this is true, Gerard is totally taking advantage of Lindsay, who still seems to be getting over Sam Ronson.
• Some people are saying Kate Hudson, who is dating Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez, is a good luck charm for the team. Also, a source told Us Weekly that A-Rod is “less of a jerk” and “more free-spirited” now that he’s with her. [Us Weekly]—If he’s become less of a jerk, she’s a real miracle worker.

“[Robert Pattinson’s character in “Twilight”] is actually a really good parallel to fame. As a vampire, he has a sad, desolate life—fame is the same. [...] I don’t want to be a movie star like Angelina Jolie. Nothing about being a celebrity is desirable. I’m an actor. It’s bizarre to me that everybody’s so obsessive.”

— Kristen Stewart tells BlackBook what she really thinks about fame.

Oh sweet Wednesdays, alleviating the happy hangovers of last weekend and preparing us for the crazy times that will be this weekend’s Halloween candy-corn binge. Just like the neighborhood kids, your favorite celebrities are also playing make-believe—although not voluntarily—in the pages of this week’s tabloids. Once again, we’ve compiled the super true-ish stories from this week’s ‘bloids for your unembarrassed perusal. Enjoy, cause this week’s are pretty major.

• Kristen Stewart reveals to Interview how she is terrorized by paparazzi and afraid to leave her hotel room. [Popeater]
• National Review writer John Derbyshire spews crap about women’s “baby batter” and turning back suffrage. [The Huffington Post]—Hurrah, conservative misogyny!
• Dreamboats Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig‘s Broadway play, “A Steady Rain,” has broken the record for the highest weekly gross for a production that isn’t a musical with $1,167,954. [New York Times]—Obviously this play with this cast is from heaven. And heaven should let me have a seat inside the pearly gates.

I don’t know about you guys, but this has already been the longest week ever and I could use a vacay. But since that’s out of the question, we’ll have to take a vacation with our minds. What better way to do that than indulge in some trashy tabloid drama? We did the dirty work and packaged the headlines in short, easy-to-read blurbs, cause we like you that much!

It’s Wednesday, which means the week is half over and you’ve made it through hump day. But even more importantly, new ‘bloids just hit newsstands. Lest you have to actually buy them, here’s the juiciest and, uh, most ultra-true stories from each.

“It’s an independent movie that nobody would normally see and now it’s like, ‘Oh, let’s go see Bella in this stripper movie—it’ll be crazy!”

—Kristen Stewart on her new movie, “Welcome to the Rileys,” where she’ll be playing a 16-year-old prostitute opposite James Gandolfini

• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were photographed at a concert in Vancouver recently, and it’s quite easy to assume they’re doing the nasty. [Dlisted]—The body language says it all.
• ”True Blood” actress Kristin Bauer says she thinks Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin will have children in the future because Anna is so good with Stephen’s children from another relationship. [E! Online]
• Hailey Glassman says Jon Gosselin was her “first love,” and she has also revealed that she started dating him a month before he and Kate announced their separation in June. [Us Weekly]—Too bad he hasn’t expressed the same feelings.

It doesn’t take much to get “Twilight” fans in a tizzy. This new 14-second teaser trailer for “New Moon” is certainly doing the trick. What does the trailer show us? To, uh, not have high expectations for the acting and dialogue in this flick. OK, fine. We won’t judge it on this tiny snippet. But I think we can all agree that the highlight here is Taylor Lautner‘s bod. He’s over 18, right?

Kristen Stewart is looking so dang hardcore lately. She’s either sartorially-inspired by her role in “The Runaways” as Joan Jett or simply a method actress. Either way, we wonder how the hell she could sit through the Teen Choice Awards in this Rock & Republic dress without sustaining any serious injuries. [Los Angeles, 8/10/09]

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart couldn’t hide their nerd love at a ComicCon conference for “New Moon.” Girl, if he still wants to bone you, despite the mullet, you know it’s L-O-V-E. [San Diego, 7/24/09]

Several tabloids this week did Michael Jackson tribute issues, which is to be expected. But there’s so much other trashy celebrity drama that we need to catch up on! We’ve practically forgotten all about Jon and whatsherface or Rihanna and so-and-so. I never thought I’d say this, but I kinda need more diverse hubbub in my life (no offense MJ), so thank goodness this week hit a few of our favorite drama mongers.

Robert Pattinson‘s rumored secret lover, Kristen Stewart, should consider going into hiding. She’s already getting hate mail from Twilighters for dating the sexy vampire man. Now, an Australian tabloid is reporting that Stewart is actually carrying R-Patz’s baby. The paper’s source said, “When [Stewart] worked out she was late, she obviously started to thinking that she could be pregnant. And because of the timing, she thinks Rob could be the father.” A picture of Stewart rocking a baby bump is also shown. Of course, there’s no word yet from the reps on whether this is true. But what do you think about the possibility of a “New Moon” love child? [NY Daily News]