Following today’s news that the world’s most famous Momager, Kris Jenner, will soon release a Kardashian cookbook, it left us wondering what else the family could possibly monetize? They’ve already created clothing lines, self tanner, fragrances, accessories, lingerie and have been the faces of diet drinks, alcohol, shoes, and even pads for slight bladder leakage. But there are still a few untapped markets left for the Kardashians to bust into. Here are ten products we’re shocked aren’t already Kardashian-sponsored, that totally should be.
“She didn’t mean harm, but when I was around nine I overheard my mom telling her friend I needed a nose job. I was shocked; I hadn’t even thought about it. I’ve grown into my face, but I’ve had makeup artists tell me, ‘You should get a nose job.’ I’m so happy that I never have. I’m proud for losing weight when I wanted to and I’ve never resorted to surgery. I’m not against it – one day I probably will but it would be on my terms.”
The parenting skills of Kris Jenner are unparalleled. This is Khloe Kardashian in Cosmopolitan revealing how Mama Kris had eyes on plastic surgery for her darling child at the ripe old age of nine. That’s nothing but adult “Mean Girls” behavior. I’m sorry, but fourth graders’ bodies aren’t even fully formed yet! There are a lot of (usually awkward) years before someone settles into their adult nose. And I think Khloe’s nose looks just fine! [US Weekly]
Each year, the Kardashians release to the world their family Christmas card. Last year’s card, as you might remember, featured Kim’s poor dead kitten Mercy in a box. This year’s Christmas card, shot by famed photographer David LaChapelle, features poor beleaguered father figure Bruce Jenner — who recently split from matriarch Kris Jenner — in a tube. Meanwhile, the rest of the family dicks — Rob Kardashian, Scott Disick, Lamar Odom and Kanye West — are missing. (Little Mason and Penelope, Kourtney’s kids, are there, but North West is not.) And the Kardashian ladies? Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, Kylie and Kendall all look interchangeable until you zoom in. WHO ZOOMS IN ON A CHRISTMAS CARD? Anyway, I don’t know about you, but I think the image of Kim standing on top of a pile of money really captures the holiday spirit. Closeups after the jump. [via Jezebel] Keep reading »
Free man Bruce Jenner can do whatever he wants now that he’s no longer the human property of Pimp Mama Kris. He can spend all day flying model helicopters! He can install a putting green in his backyard! He can play golf with Angie Everhart! But more than all of these things, Bruce can finally, finally grow that pathetic baby ponytail he’s always wanted, and I must say, it’s coming in beautifully. This, friends, is what freedom looks like. He wears it well. [Photo: Splash News]
What would Halloween be without scary campfire stories? It’s the best time of year to get bundled up, binge on s’mores, and try to scare the shit out of your friends with creepy tales of ghosts, demons, serial killers, monsters, and ax murderers. We thought it was time to give these classic tales a pop culture twist, because really, what’s scarier than Hollywood? Here’s how it works: use whatever standard scary story intro you want (dark and stormy night, friends doing a séance, creepy cabin sleepover, haunted bathroom mirror, etc), and then sub in one of these celebrity-inspired punchlines for the big, gasp-worthy finish: Keep reading »