I know the internet is the land of hyperbole, especially when it comes to cats. But for real, everyone, anointing this kitten getting a belly rub as “The Cutest Ever Cat Video On The Internet” seems pretty spot-on to me. I dare you to disagree with me. [Love Meow]
The cinematic masterpiece that is sure to be “Fifty Shades Of Grey” is still a long way off (February 2015) but you can get your kinky sex fix now with … wait for it, kittens. Yes, the erotic love affair of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey is reenacted by teeny-weeny beh beh kittehs (and their cat toys). Whoever wrote the puns in one deserves the cat video equivalent of an Oscar.
Today in miserable situations: five abandon kittens zipped inside a suitcase were discovered in Cardiff, Wales. A passerby happened to see the suitcase on a back street and opened it, only to find the nine-week-old kitties peering up from inside. One of them was stuck in the bag’s zipper, another kitty had a sore eye, and all of them had fleas, but they’re lucky to have been found otherwise healthy. The three male and two female cats are now in the care of the animal organization RSPCA, and will likely be put up for adoption shortly. According to the Daily Mail, Rachel Chapman of the RSPCA said “They are lovely kittens …We would rather the person called us first instead of just being irresponsible and abandoning their pets.” She also said the kittens would be available for placement in new homes if their owners don’t come forward. It’s hard for me to imagine that this was an accident (stranger things have happened, I guess) and I sincerely hope that doesn’t mean they intend to ever place the kitties back in the care of whatever colossal asshole got bored of them and dumped them on the street. I think, rather, that the RSPCA is looking for more information to sufficiently punish the creep. It’s one thing to throw helpless kitties on the street when they could be safely dropped off at a shelter, but it’s quite another to leave them trapped in a suitcase with no way to fend for themselves. Ugh, what is wrong with people? If you’re in Cardiff and have any information to share about the kitties or their owner, you can give the RSPCA a call at 0300 1234 999. [Daily Mail UK]
This kitten got herself all worked up about this ceramic cat, but she seems to be missing the fact that her new friend is not real! [Tastefully Offensive]
I don’t know where these Maine Coon kittens came from or how they can manage to match their movements so closely. All I know is that they’re so mesmerized by whatever it is they’re staring at that I can’t decide whether to find it adorable or slightly creepy. Let’s go with adorable. [Tastefully Offensive]
This is the Saddest Kitten Ever, who has yet to be given an official stage name but will surely be the interwebs’ next favorite feline. Grumpy Cat may look cranky, but this kitty looks downright sad. Her human, Ashley Herring, assures us that Saddest Kitten Ever has a wonderful life of kitty bliss, but that doesn’t seem to change her permanently pouty expression. Overnight stardom has fallen into the sad kitten’s lap, with over 370,000 views of her picture on Imgur in just three days. Are those dollar signs I see in those big blue sad eyes? It’s only a matter of time before the interviews with Anderson Cooper and customized t-shirts with this kitty’s face on them turn up. Herring is asking fans for stage name ideas, and names like Bojangles, Nugget, Meowancholia, and Happy have been suggested so far. Meh, I think we can come up with something cuter than that. Watch out celebrity cats, you have some competition! [Refinery 29; Daily Mail UK]