Two of my most major dating anxieties are A) having nothing to talk about and B) the first kiss. I fear having nothing to talk about, not because I don’t have anything to talk about, but if I’m sitting across from an uncommunicative human for an hour, I will feel compelled to fill up every second of that hour with words. And for those of you who similarly fear awkward silences, you know how much energy it takes to fill an entire hour with words. It’s soul sucking.
That was a tangent. I’m really here to talk about first kiss anxiety, which is way, way more serious. I think there are two schools of thought on first kisses: Those who think a bad first kiss indicates incompatibility and those who believe that kissing is not all-important. If you’re a member of Team Kissing Is Not All-Important, it’s all-important for me to be up front and tell you that we don’t have anything to talk about. A bad first kiss is enough to put me off the person … forever. So, when I’m on a date, and we do have stuff to talk about, I am then free to live in fearful anticipation of that first lip lock. I understand that everyone has different kissing styles and preferences, and there is a spectrum of what may be considered enjoyable, but I’ve consulted with other women, and they agree with me, there are certain kinds of kisses that are universally unwelcome. After the jump, some kinds of first kisses that will render romance DOA. Don’t be an offender. Keep reading »
In all my dating years, I never thought much about kissing styles, and never put much weight into a great first kiss. But recently, I’ve had a couple of experiences that leave me wondering … how important is kissing compatibility?
In my opinion, most first kisses are a little awkward. I think it’s natural to need a little practice before two sets of lips can find their perfect rhythm. And I would never deny a guy a second date because he kissed outside the lines, or because we clumsily knocked teeth. (I would wonder, however … “Is his mouth just that much bigger than mine? Or, does he have very big teeth?”) Read more …
A good kiss makes you feel all melty and tingly. However, a bad one? Well, let’s just say that kisses are not like pizza—the meh ones are pretty awkward. Adding a camera in the bad kissing equation can bring about disastrous results. Think: Tipper and Al Gore at the Democratic National Convention in 2000. Or: Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley kissing on stage at theMTV Music Video Awards in 1994. Or: Most recently, John Travolta and Kelly Preston trying to convince us that they are a real heterosexual couple at the “Savages” premiere. It ain’t working. Does John know he’s supposed to put his lips on her lips, not in them? You can tell they haven’t been practicing their lip lock very often. Or EVER.
Behold, our slideshow of more awkward celebrity kisses.
Photo courtesy of WENN
So, you’ve been going out for a while now. You’re really feeling this guy and you can tell there’s a mutual attraction. The vibes … my God, the vibes. He drops you off at your door, smiles that little smile, says he had a great time and leaves. No kiss. Ugh!
Is it your breath? Do you have a cold sore? Well … why won’t he kiss you?
It all depends upon the makeup of your guy. Some men are shy, awkward little devils. They can be so shy, in fact, that they have to be lured in to kissing you, while others are macho and bold and will kiss you on the first date. Read more …
Let me start by giving you two conflicting pieces of information: 1) I consider myself heterosexual, and 2) At the age of 13 – while in the violent throws of puberty – I saw the iconic Vanity Fair cover featuring k.d. lang in a three-piece suit alongside a leather bathing suit-clad Cindy Crawford, and thought k.d. was the single sexiest thing that I’d ever seen.
For the moment, let’s put these seemingly conflicting bits of information off on the theory of sexuality that goes, “It’s not some hard and fast thing. It’s a spectrum. And we all fall on different places upon it.” You’re 85 percent straight, 15 percent gay, let’s say. Or 60 percent gay, 40 percent straight. Or maybe 95 percent gay, 5 percent straight. Anyway, you get the point. As for me, I’d like to simplify my own sexuality by saying I think of myself as 70 percent straight, 30 percent gay. I’ve always been attracted to men, always figured that a traditional heterosexual future was ahead of me, but that image of k.d. lang, you see, it knocked something loose within and set me on the path to Barbara. Or, as I like to refer to her: Babs. Keep reading »
My sister introduced me to the guy I’ve been dating for some months now. Our relationship could be summarized in two simple statements:
When I first saw him, my heart skipped a beat.
When he stuffed his tongue in my mouth, my eye twitched. Keep reading »