Tag Archives: kinky

On Making The Case For Kink As A Sexual Orientation

Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
Submissive Sex
Newsflash: feminists are not against submissve sex. Read More »
Kinky Sex Myths
Five myths about kinky sex from "50 Shades Of Grey." Read More »
kinky 081814

Today on Slate.com is an excellent piece about why “kinky” should be considered a sexual orientation. Writer Jillian Keenan posits how we define a person’s sexual orientation should include what kind of energies turn a person on — dominant or submissive, for example — because for people like Keenan and myself, our sexuality is more complicated than just the gender and genitalia of the person to whom we are attracted. Keep reading »

Sometimes I Wish I Hadn’t Written So Much About Sex

sex parties email

A few months ago, Amelia and I were talking about rape threats against women who write online. It seems like it happens to feminist writers Zerlina Maxwell, Amanda Hess and Jessica Valenti every day. Amelia asked if any readers have threatened to rape or otherwise harm me. The honest truth is that it only happened once — on Twitter a few years ago. The man had zero followers and had only tweeted a handful of times, all of which were incendiary remarks or threats against other liberals. I didn’t suspect he posed a serious threat to my safety, so I just blocked him. Do I even have to say I’m grateful that this was the one and only time some stranger threatened me?

That one incident isn’t the complete picture, though. A better question to ask in order to illustrate the at-times unsavory experience of being a feminist writer online would be about the kinds of inquiries I get on social media or in my inbox. Nearly every single day, a man emails asking me personal information about my sexuality, for an invitation to a sex party, or straight-up propositions me for sex. Keep reading »

Fetish Fitness With A Dominatrix Takes “No Pain, No Gain” Literally (NSFW)

fetish fitness
"Have You Been Smoking Every Day?" "Yes, Mistress"

For some fitness-conscious submissives in Australia, working out is synonymous with getting off thanks to dominatrix/personal trainer Mistress Anna. The Sydney dom coaches kinksters who work out in collars and gimp masks, ordering pushups to kiss her black latex  high heels and administering a spank when necessary. She even finds ways to incorporate kinky toys into the workout for these BDSM-loving blokes. As seen in this video for SBS, Mistress Anna’s clients include a crossdresser, a “little” (an adult who enjoys infantile play), and a variety of subs. Nipples clamps on the row machine might not be everyone’s idea of a workout, but for these “pain sluts,” it kills two birds with one stone. Count me among the reluctant exercisers who hate going to the gym — perhaps I just need  stricter disciplinary regimen, wink wink. [Images depicted in this video might not be everyone's taste!] [SBS.com. AU]

My Strange First Day Working In An Erotic Massage Parlor

I was not impressed at all with the lack of notice for my first appointment.

I barely had time to rush back to the little basement dressing room, change into shoes that weren’t completely ratty and gross, and gather my nerves before I got the text message from “Marjorie” informing me that my client was at the gate of the apartment complex. When I finally let my client in, though, I was a bit confused by his look of shock. Read more on The Gloss…

Ranking Cosmopolitan‘s “12 Kinky Quickies” Sex Moves On A Scale Of 1 – 4 Handcuffs

Couples who engage in kink in the bedroom are happier and more secure in their relationships, according to a study cited in the October issue of Cosmopolitan. Girl, you don’t have to tell me this! BDSM sex, when it is safe, sane and consensual, is pretty amazing for all partners.

But hold up for a second. This article was in … Cosmo?! Yes, really, it was.  Cosmopolitan has a well-deserved and iconic place in pop culture history as a place for women to read sex tips, but definitely is not known as the forefront of kink.

Even if the magazine didn’t talk about safe words or the difference between kink and abuse, I appreciate they are trying to include more types of alternative sexuality in their almost-always vanilla and heteronormative sex tips. So I took a look at Cosmo‘s “12 Kinky Quickies” article with a critical eye. Here are my bonafide kinky assessments on their recommended moves: Keep reading »

Study: 50 Shades Of Grey “Perpetuates” Abusive Relationships

"50" Causes Divorce
kinky woman
Couple divorces because husband won't reenact "50 Shades." Read More »
Kinky Sex Myths
Five myths about kinky sex from "50 Shades Of Grey." Read More »

50 Shades Of Grey is still a thing people are talking about, I guess?  But the latest news isn’t casting rumors for the big screen adaption of E.L. James’ kinky sex trilogy — it’s a pearl-clutching new study that warns 50 Shades “perpetuates” abusive relationships.

The Journal of Women’s Health published a study earlier this week entitled “Double Crap! Abuse And Harmed Identity In 50 Shades Of Grey” by professor Amy Bonomi of Michigan State University and two other professors. The study, which focused on the first eight chapters of the first book in the series, found, according to Bonomi, that “50 Shades Of Grey perpetuates dangerous abuse patterns.” Keep reading »

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