Tag Archives: kinky

Rihanna Spotted Getting Kinky With Women In Sex Club

It’s no secret that Rihanna really loves her strippers and her desire to touch them often gets her in trouble (She was once kicked out of a club)

The “Stay” singer recently hit up a sex club in Toronto where she came dressed to role play and almost got into a fight with another woman.

If you believe the National Enquirer:

RiRi came into the club in a black cat-suit and bondage-style leather policeman’s hat and pretended to arrest several women, frisking them and even copping feels of their chests to satisfy her gay desires. Read more …

The Soapbox: BDSM Is Not “Consensual Domestic Violence”

Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
Submissive Sex
Newsflash: feminists are not against submissve sex. Read More »
First Time: Spanking Party
spanking photo
This is what happens at a spanking party. Read More »
kinky photo

I don’t want to write this post.

I really don’t want to write this post.

I really don’t want to write this post because all the ways that Slate columnist/link-baiter William Saletan is wrong about BDSM are so numerous and so glaringly inaccurate that I have half a mind not to dignify it with a response.

Alas, here I go:

Saletan asks whether, between 50 Shades of Grey and various colleges starting their own BDSM clubs,  kink is going “mainstream,” as if sexuality is like rap music or the Atkins diet which spreads around the country once it becomes “cool”. He quickly concludes no, BDSM won’t ever be accepted by your Great Aunt Myrtle in Iowa City, because it’s actually “dangerous” — actual quote — and actually “consensual domestic violence” — actual quote.

Sigh.

His viewpoint only serves to further stigmatize what’s barely even taboo anymore,  promoting the Dark Ages/maybe-in-rural-Alabama idea there’s “right” and “wrong” sexuality between consenting adults.

To which I have to say, shut the fuck up, William Saletan. Keep reading »

6 Ways The New York Times (Of All Places) Got It Right About Kinky Sex

"Kink" Trailer
james franco kink
Watch the trailer for James Franco's doc about BDSM porn. Read More »
Fetishes 101
fetish
What's a fetish? What's a paraphilia? This post explains it all! Read More »
First Time: Spanking Party
spanking photo
This is what happens at a spanking party. Read More »
Fat Mike On BDSM
Fat Mike of NOFX
NOFX's Fat Mike talks about his BDSM lifestyle and persecution for kink. Read More »

The New York Times Style section has gotten the memo: 50 Shades Of Grey is a book the ladies be readin’. Cue interviews with various and sundry New Yorkers who are involved in the kink scene, from sexual submissives to fire players. Actually, this article was written by a friend of mine named Matt and even if he wasn’t my bud, I’d still think this article about issues pertaining to kinky sex was a job well done.

Take note, other journalists who write about sex! Here’s six ways the New York Times actually got it right on kinky sex (or, as much as they could in one article): Keep reading »

9 Sex Toys To Try This Valentine’s Day

We all know from Cupid and Hallmark and Victoria’s Secret that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be the sexiest, sultriest, panty-droppingest day in existence.

We also know that’s not actually going to happen.

But you can try, can’t you? Your partner probably isn’t going to turn into Christian/Christina Grey for the night. But that doesn’t mean you can’t introduce a sex toy or three to spice things up. Here’s nine toys we think you might enjoy for a little something-something extra this Valentine’s Day. Let us know how it goes … if you’re willing to kiss and tell.

Hell Yeah, I Love You!
Hell yeah, I love you! Getting love is easy this Valentine's Day. Read More »
Red Lingerie
... for every bust size! Read More »

Fetishes 101: All The Basics About Having A Sexual Fetish Or Paraphilia

Adult Diapers
Adult diapers is a trend for women in Japan. Read More »
Spanking Fetish
woman spanking
"Modern Love" tackles one woman's spanking fetish. Read More »
fetish

“I have a shopping fetish!”

“I have a total fetish for caramel-covered popcorn — it’s my favorite snack!”

“She watches the Kardashians’ shows because she has a weird Kim fetish. She’s wants to dress like her so badly.”

You’ve probably heard a comment like this at least once a week your entire life. These sorts of comments drive me bonkers, because those people are not really referring to fetishes.

Instead, they’re misusing the word “fetish” to describe anything they really like, instead of something that sexually turns them on. I imagine it might be the same way gay folks would feel when a straight-person says to their same-sex friend “I’m gay for you,” when really they just mean their friend is a good buddy.

This is a subject we could all stand to know more about.  Obviously I am not a psychologist or a medical expert of any kind; I’m just a woman with a spanking fetish who is researching official information on the subject on Google and including my own experiences and tips. I highly recommend visiting a sex-positive therapist, specifically a sex therapist, for a professional consult and to sort this stuff out if you or a loved one have a fetish or paraphilia.

But for a basic 101 on fetishes and paraphilia, here are some commonly asked questions and answers:

Keep reading »

Modern Love Tackles One Woman’s Spanking Fetish

First Time: Spanking Party
spanking photo
This is what happens at a spanking party. Read More »
Tales Of A Kinky Feminist
bdsm
You can be a kinky feminist and flawed human being. Read More »
Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
woman spanking

The New York Times Style section usually emits more groans from me than cheers. Remember that piece about how bangs are “in”? And how women wear dresses? So I was ecstatic this week to see the Modern Love essay is by Jillian Keenan, a woman with a spanking fetish who is struggling to come out about it to her boyfriend. The essay touched on the struggles female spankos face from a judgmental and/or misunderstanding public, namely that we all must have suffered sexual abuse (not true) or must be gravely damaged in some way (also not true). And I was particularly delighted that 50 Shades Of Grey got only a brief mention. Keep reading »

True Story: I Can Be A Kinky Feminist & A Messy Human Being

Misunderstanding Kink
Some folks don't understand kink is not sexual abuse. Read More »
Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
First Time: Spanking Party
spanking photo
This is what happens at a spanking party. Read More »
Fat Mike On BDSM
Fat Mike of NOFX
NOFX's Fat Mike talks about his BDSM lifestyle and persecution for kink. Read More »

A few years ago ….

Today, in 2012, I avoid him as much as I can. But my friend (?) Richard used to joke (?) that I only called him when I broke up with my boyfriends. Kinda true, kinda false. Regardless — a few years ago — I don’t even call him this time, I just end up at his apartment for some small party.

He scents the pain in me, and suddenly we’re in a back room, alone. One of the reasons he’s so good at this is that he smells vulnerability like a shark smells blood. I don’t remember whether I ask him to hurt me, or he just grabs me. “Something’s close to the surface,” I tell him, while he leaves bite-shaped bruises on my upper arm. He knows me; he doesn’t leave bruises in places I can’t cover with a t-shirt.

“What is it?” he asks, and I choke on it. I’m already starting to cry. We’ve only been doing this for a moment.

“Red,” I say. The safeword. I’m sobbing. “Red.” Richard stops immediately. “Tears,” I say. “Tears were close to the surface.” Keep reading »

Target Selling “American Horror Story” Rubber Man Suit This Halloween

S2 Creepy Promos
Season two of "American Horror Story" looks pretty creepy already. Read More »
S2 "Horror" Casting
American Horror Story
Your definitive guide to casting on "American Horror Story" season two. Read More »
House For Sale
house from American Horror Story photo
The real house from "American Horror Story" is on the market. Read More »
Gimp Suit Secrets
evan peters photo
"American Horror Story" star Evan Peters on wearing the gimp suit. Read More »
Rubber Man suit Target Halloween

If someone showed up at my apartment one night in the Rubber Man suit from “American Horror Story,” I would be thrilled for a kinky night of fun with Zachary Quinto or Evan Peters.  But if that night is October 31st, it’s just some fucking trick-or-treater who shopped at Target this Halloween. BUZZKILL. But, hey, the gimp suit is only $42.49: plenty of money leftover for duct tape and ping pong paddles. [Target.com via Twitter.com/DylanMcDermott]

Frisky Q&A: Phone Sex Operator Sabrina Morgan Talks Kinky Sex, Dirty Talk Tips & Melon Humpers

"For A Good Time Call..."
Watch the trailer! Watch »
First Phone Sex
A dude tells us about his first phone sex session. Read More »
How To Talk Dirty
Guys love a filthy mouth. Read More »

Be honest: “For A Good Time, Call …” has made you just a tiny bit curious about what it’s like to work a phone sex line. Is it just pervs who call up and pant into the phone before hanging up?  Are all the women who do it just paying their way through grad school?

We went to Sabrina Morgan, a 28-year-old phone sex operator in San Diego, for the real story. She got involved in phone sex back in 2005 and was kind enough to answer some questions over email. Everything you want to know about dirty talk, stocking fetishes and melon humping, after the jump!

Keep reading »

NOFX’s Fat Mike Talks His BDSM Lifestyle, Persecution For Being Kinky

Misunderstanding Kink
Some folks don't understand kink is not sexual abuse. Read More »
Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
Be Sex Positive!
Eight ways to be positive you're sex positive. Read More »

“I haven’t always been open but I always felt lucky that there was something in my life that I felt passionate about. I think most people don’t feel that way about sex. But yeah, I’ve had a dungeon in my house for the past 20 years. … Both me and my girlfriend [who is a dominatrix] are kind of missionaries. I think it should be talked about. It should be out in the open because people don’t enjoy their desires enough. You’re allowed to do whatever the fuck you want as long as it’s consensual. You might as well live out your fantasies and not be ashamed of it.”

I’ve never listened to NOFX, so I had never heard of Fat Mike (aka Mike Burkett). But now I’m kind of in love with his mind right now. The singer spoke to VICE about a new record and had a whole conversation about being kinky and into BDSM — that’s bondage, dominance and sadomasochism. Everything he’s saying here is stuff I’ve wanted to scream from the rooftops. After the jump, he talks about the persecution of BDSM as a “deviant sexuality.” Keep reading »