Tag Archives: kink

The Most Ridiculous Assumptions People Make About Being Kinky

Kinky Sex Myths
Five myths about kinky sex from "50 Shades Of Grey." Read More »
Be Sex Positive!
Eight ways to be positive you're sex positive. Read More »
On BDSM
kinky photo
BDSM is not "consensual domestic violence." Read More »

Let’s set the scene: I’m 23, drinking chai in a charming coffee shop. Sitting across from me is a gloriously burly guy in a leather jacket (and, as I know from his Fetlife photos, also in possession of two equally glorious full sleeves of serpent tattoos).

Then the conversation veers from what we do for a living to something more intense. He takes my hand, gently stroking the back of it, and indicates the deeply unsexy red burn line on my wrist.

“And is this from doing one of your… scenes?” he whispers in a voice full of anticipation.

“Nah,” I say. “I burned myself making muffins this morning.”

The devastation on his face is so remarkable that I wish I had taken a picture. It was like I’d farted right before he was about to come, AND kicked his puppy in the face.

Next, he asked me if I’d like to have sex with him in his car, which was currently parked on a busy street during the height of tourist season. I ended the date right then and there and sulked my way through the rest of my tea, alone, wondering how something that seemed so promising could go so wrong in the span of 15 minutes. Was it unreasonable to assume that I didn’t need to be constantly projecting submissive vibes during a first date? And certainly other kinksters made muffins, right? Keep reading »

My Strange First Day Working In An Erotic Massage Parlor

I was not impressed at all with the lack of notice for my first appointment.

I barely had time to rush back to the little basement dressing room, change into shoes that weren’t completely ratty and gross, and gather my nerves before I got the text message from “Marjorie” informing me that my client was at the gate of the apartment complex. When I finally let my client in, though, I was a bit confused by his look of shock. Read more on The Gloss…

Everything Joe & Melissa Gorga Might Want To Know About Actual Dominant/Submissive Relationships, But Are Too Afraid To Ask

Melissa Gorga and Joe Gorga

It’s difficult to walk away from an episode of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” without thinking to oneself, ”Every single one of these women needs massive amounts of therapy” … yet we do it in a way that keeps us TiVoing their table-flipping drama week after week. But a new book published by Melissa Gorga, called Love Italian Style, filled with her  so-called ‘marriage advice tips’ crosses into the realm of seriously disturbing.

Clearly the Gorgas have a traditional-style marriage. That does not suit everyone’s tastes. However, Melissa Gorga doesn’t simply fulfill the traditional feminine role in her marriage by cooking meals, cleaning the house and being primary caretaker of the children. As Amelia wrote about yesterday, she advises satisfying your husband’s sexual desires at all times, fashioning herself into his own personal “puttana [Italian slang for "whore"]” in the bedroom, lest her husband be driven to cheat. She explains how Joe is liable to be less angry at her for making mistakes when she’s been putting out.

Then there’s the part where Gorga gives a thumbs-up to marital rape:

Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says “no,” turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.

There’s the playful, “wink-wink-nudge-nudge” no that I hope Melissa Gorga is referring to. Then there’s the “no means no” no that makes turning your wife around and ripping her clothes off rape. Gorga doesn’t elucidate any difference. Nor does Gorga seem to find it disconcerting, as Jezebel pointed out, that Joe is prone to “violent outbursts” — like breaking a baby’s highchair — that cause her to “modify her own behavior” to please him. Still, Gorga repeatedly writes that marriage should based upon respect. Keep reading »

Ranking Cosmopolitan‘s “12 Kinky Quickies” Sex Moves On A Scale Of 1 – 4 Handcuffs

Couples who engage in kink in the bedroom are happier and more secure in their relationships, according to a study cited in the October issue of Cosmopolitan. Girl, you don’t have to tell me this! BDSM sex, when it is safe, sane and consensual, is pretty amazing for all partners.

But hold up for a second. This article was in … Cosmo?! Yes, really, it was.  Cosmopolitan has a well-deserved and iconic place in pop culture history as a place for women to read sex tips, but definitely is not known as the forefront of kink.

Even if the magazine didn’t talk about safe words or the difference between kink and abuse, I appreciate they are trying to include more types of alternative sexuality in their almost-always vanilla and heteronormative sex tips. So I took a look at Cosmo‘s “12 Kinky Quickies” article with a critical eye. Here are my bonafide kinky assessments on their recommended moves: Keep reading »

Study: 50 Shades Of Grey “Perpetuates” Abusive Relationships

"50" Causes Divorce
kinky woman
Couple divorces because husband won't reenact "50 Shades." Read More »
Kinky Sex Myths
Five myths about kinky sex from "50 Shades Of Grey." Read More »

50 Shades Of Grey is still a thing people are talking about, I guess?  But the latest news isn’t casting rumors for the big screen adaption of E.L. James’ kinky sex trilogy — it’s a pearl-clutching new study that warns 50 Shades “perpetuates” abusive relationships.

The Journal of Women’s Health published a study earlier this week entitled “Double Crap! Abuse And Harmed Identity In 50 Shades Of Grey” by professor Amy Bonomi of Michigan State University and two other professors. The study, which focused on the first eight chapters of the first book in the series, found, according to Bonomi, that “50 Shades Of Grey perpetuates dangerous abuse patterns.” Keep reading »

Our Biggest Regrets About College Sex

Almie On Hookups
Almie Rose on hooking up in college
Almie Rose on hooking up in college. Read More »
Crushin' On Your Prof
Crush on your college professor
An anatomy of a crush on your college professor. Read More »
Schooled! Week
Schooled 2013
We've got you covered for college. Read More »
Our Biggest Regrets About College Sex

College! It’s all about exposure to new ideas, learning skills for your future career, and, oh yeah, ceaseless romantic floundering. After high school, higher education is likely the last time you will be around so many people of your own age all the time. Who could blame you for sleeping with some a few many of them?

But just like those student loans that you’ll be paying off until retirement (haha, in this economy, do you think retirement will still be around when we’re old?), there’s going to be some sex you regret. Sex you wish you hadn’t had. Sex you wish you had had. Sex that you don’t want to tell anyone about except the anonymous comments section of The Frisky.

After the jump, here are our worst sex regrets from college. It’s only fair that you share your own!  Keep reading »

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