Tag Archives: kink

Sometimes I Wish I Hadn’t Written So Much About Sex

sex parties email

A few months ago, Amelia and I were talking about rape threats against women who write online. It seems like it happens to feminist writers Zerlina Maxwell, Amanda Hess and Jessica Valenti every day. Amelia asked if any readers have threatened to rape or otherwise harm me. The honest truth is that it only happened once — on Twitter a few years ago. The man had zero followers and had only tweeted a handful of times, all of which were incendiary remarks or threats against other liberals. I didn’t suspect he posed a serious threat to my safety, so I just blocked him. Do I even have to say I’m grateful that this was the one and only time some stranger threatened me?

That one incident isn’t the complete picture, though. A better question to ask in order to illustrate the at-times unsavory experience of being a feminist writer online would be about the kinds of inquiries I get on social media or in my inbox. Nearly every single day, a man emails asking me personal information about my sexuality, for an invitation to a sex party, or straight-up propositions me for sex. Keep reading »

Fetish Fitness With A Dominatrix Takes “No Pain, No Gain” Literally (NSFW)

fetish fitness
"Have You Been Smoking Every Day?" "Yes, Mistress"

For some fitness-conscious submissives in Australia, working out is synonymous with getting off thanks to dominatrix/personal trainer Mistress Anna. The Sydney dom coaches kinksters who work out in collars and gimp masks, ordering pushups to kiss her black latex  high heels and administering a spank when necessary. She even finds ways to incorporate kinky toys into the workout for these BDSM-loving blokes. As seen in this video for SBS, Mistress Anna’s clients include a crossdresser, a “little” (an adult who enjoys infantile play), and a variety of subs. Nipples clamps on the row machine might not be everyone’s idea of a workout, but for these “pain sluts,” it kills two birds with one stone. Count me among the reluctant exercisers who hate going to the gym — perhaps I just need  stricter disciplinary regimen, wink wink. [Images depicted in this video might not be everyone's taste!] [SBS.com. AU]

Lingerie Fashion Week: FYI By Dani Read

Are you a siren in the sack? Dani Read’s lingerie aims to empower women with luxury lingerie for the kinkiest of games. We couldn’t resist the hand-painted florals paired with bold leather details featured at this years Lingerie Fashion Week.

Keep clicking to check out the entire erotic collection and follow The Frisky Instagram to see runway photos!

The Most Ridiculous Assumptions People Make About Being Kinky

Kinky Sex Myths
Five myths about kinky sex from "50 Shades Of Grey." Read More »
Be Sex Positive!
Eight ways to be positive you're sex positive. Read More »
On BDSM
kinky photo
BDSM is not "consensual domestic violence." Read More »

Let’s set the scene: I’m 23, drinking chai in a charming coffee shop. Sitting across from me is a gloriously burly guy in a leather jacket (and, as I know from his Fetlife photos, also in possession of two equally glorious full sleeves of serpent tattoos).

Then the conversation veers from what we do for a living to something more intense. He takes my hand, gently stroking the back of it, and indicates the deeply unsexy red burn line on my wrist.

“And is this from doing one of your… scenes?” he whispers in a voice full of anticipation.

“Nah,” I say. “I burned myself making muffins this morning.”

The devastation on his face is so remarkable that I wish I had taken a picture. It was like I’d farted right before he was about to come, AND kicked his puppy in the face.

Next, he asked me if I’d like to have sex with him in his car, which was currently parked on a busy street during the height of tourist season. I ended the date right then and there and sulked my way through the rest of my tea, alone, wondering how something that seemed so promising could go so wrong in the span of 15 minutes. Was it unreasonable to assume that I didn’t need to be constantly projecting submissive vibes during a first date? And certainly other kinksters made muffins, right? Keep reading »

My Strange First Day Working In An Erotic Massage Parlor

I was not impressed at all with the lack of notice for my first appointment.

I barely had time to rush back to the little basement dressing room, change into shoes that weren’t completely ratty and gross, and gather my nerves before I got the text message from “Marjorie” informing me that my client was at the gate of the apartment complex. When I finally let my client in, though, I was a bit confused by his look of shock. Read more on The Gloss…

Everything Joe & Melissa Gorga Might Want To Know About Actual Dominant/Submissive Relationships, But Are Too Afraid To Ask

Melissa Gorga and Joe Gorga

It’s difficult to walk away from an episode of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” without thinking to oneself, ”Every single one of these women needs massive amounts of therapy” … yet we do it in a way that keeps us TiVoing their table-flipping drama week after week. But a new book published by Melissa Gorga, called Love Italian Style, filled with her  so-called ‘marriage advice tips’ crosses into the realm of seriously disturbing.

Clearly the Gorgas have a traditional-style marriage. That does not suit everyone’s tastes. However, Melissa Gorga doesn’t simply fulfill the traditional feminine role in her marriage by cooking meals, cleaning the house and being primary caretaker of the children. As Amelia wrote about yesterday, she advises satisfying your husband’s sexual desires at all times, fashioning herself into his own personal “puttana [Italian slang for "whore"]” in the bedroom, lest her husband be driven to cheat. She explains how Joe is liable to be less angry at her for making mistakes when she’s been putting out.

Then there’s the part where Gorga gives a thumbs-up to marital rape:

Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says “no,” turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.

There’s the playful, “wink-wink-nudge-nudge” no that I hope Melissa Gorga is referring to. Then there’s the “no means no” no that makes turning your wife around and ripping her clothes off rape. Gorga doesn’t elucidate any difference. Nor does Gorga seem to find it disconcerting, as Jezebel pointed out, that Joe is prone to “violent outbursts” — like breaking a baby’s highchair — that cause her to “modify her own behavior” to please him. Still, Gorga repeatedly writes that marriage should based upon respect. Keep reading »

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