kink - Page 2

The Most Ridiculous Assumptions People Make About Being Kinky

Let’s set the scene: I’m 23, drinking chai in a charming coffee shop. Sitting across from me is a gloriously burly guy in a leather jacket (and, as I know from his Fetlife photos, also in possession of two equally glorious full sleeves of serpent tattoos).

Then the conversation veers from what we… More »


My Strange First Day Working In An Erotic Massage Parlor

I was not impressed at all with the lack of notice for my first appointment.

I barely had time to rush back to the little basement dressing room, change into shoes that weren’t completely ratty and gross, and gather my nerves before I got the text message from “Marjorie” informing me that my… More »


Everything Joe & Melissa Gorga Might Want To Know About Actual Dominant/Submissive Relationships, But Are Too Afraid To Ask

It’s difficult to walk away from an episode of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” without thinking to oneself, “Every single one of these women needs massive amounts of therapy” … yet we do it in a way that keeps us TiVoing their table-flipping drama week after week. But a new book published by Melissa Gorga, called LoveMore »


Ranking Cosmopolitan’s “12 Kinky Quickies” Sex Moves On A Scale Of 1 – 4 Handcuffs

Couples who engage in kink in the bedroom are happier and more secure in their relationships, according to a study cited in the October issue of Cosmopolitan. Girl, you don’t have to tell me this! BDSM sex, when it is safe, sane and consensual, is pretty amazing for all partners.

But hold up… More »


Study: 50 Shades Of Grey “Perpetuates” Abusive Relationships

50 Shades Of Grey is still a thing people are talking about, I guess?  But the latest news isn’t casting rumors for the big screen adaption of E.L. James’ kinky sex trilogy — it’s a pearl-clutching new study that warns 50 Shades “perpetuates” abusive relationships.

The Journal of Women’s Health published a study… More »


Our Biggest Regrets About College Sex

College! It’s all about exposure to new ideas, learning skills for your future career, and, oh yeah, ceaseless romantic floundering. After high school, higher education is likely the last time you will be around so many people of your own age all the time. Who could blame you for sleeping with some a few many… More »


The Soapbox: Feminism Deserves Better Than “Sex-Negative Vs. Sex-Positive”

As a feminist, kinky person and sex commentator, I am the target audience for Jillian Horowitz’s xoJane essay “I’m a Sex-Negative Feminist” — and that’s exactly the point. Part of the site’s “Unpopular Opinion” series, I can only surmise that the essay, like others before it, was written largely with the intention of… More »


Radical Feminist Interview On Thought Catalog Takes Potshot At Sex-Positive Feminism & Kink, Questions Consent

Last night, I was reading a piece on the blog Thought Catalog in which writer Marie Calloway interviewed two young women about the current state of “radical feminism.” I read it not only because feminism is my beat, but also because the current understanding that I have in my mind about radical feminism is based… More »


The Soapbox: On Abuse Within Kink (Or This One Time Some Really Bad Stuff Happened To Me)

Recently I went home with a kinky man after our first date. The experience phased in and out of being consensual throughout the night. I distinctly left his apartment feeling violated and I continued to feel violated for several days after.

We found each other online because both of us were interested in… More »


The Soapbox: BDSM Is Not “Consensual Domestic Violence”

I don’t want to write this post.

I really don’t want to write this post.

I really don’t want to write this post because all the ways that Slate columnist/link-baiter William Saletan is wrong about BDSM are so numerous and so glaringly inaccurate that I have half a mind not to… More »


6 Ways The New York Times (Of All Places) Got It Right About Kinky Sex

The New York Times Style section has gotten the memo: 50 Shades Of Grey is a book the ladies be readin’. Cue interviews with various and sundry New Yorkers who are involved in the kink scene, from sexual submissives to fire players. Actually, this article was written by a friend of mine namedMore »


9 Sex Toys To Try This Valentine’s Day

We all know from Cupid and Hallmark and Victoria’s Secret that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be the sexiest, sultriest, panty-droppingest day in existence.

We also know that’s not actually going to happen.

But you can try, can’t you? Your partner probably isn’t going to turn into Christian/Christina Grey for the night. But… More »


The 6 Geekiest Sex Toys Ever

We live in the sexiest time ever. For most of history, condoms were hollowed-out sheep guts, “getting lucky” meant not contracting a plague, and the more insane religions insisted that even masturbation was a sin (despite the fact that jerking off is the literal fucking definition of “enjoying yourself without bothering anyone else”). Any god… More »


Girl Talk: What I Learned At An Orgy

I didn’t physically prepare for my first orgy. My husband and I talked about boundaries and asked the friends who invited us about party etiquette. But I didn’t put much thought into what I looked like because I wasn’t planning to do a whole lot. I wanted to meet people, maybe kiss and fondle a… More »


Watch The Trailer For “Kink,” James Franco’s Documentary About BDSM Porn

When he wasn’t otherwise occupied writing poems about the president, James Franco has been busily producing a documentary about Kink.com, the premiere web site for BDSM porn. “Kink,” which is debuting now at the Sundance Film Festival, explores the production company that runs Kink.com and their film shoots in San Francisco’s Armory. Franco and his… More »


Fetishes 101: All The Basics About Having A Sexual Fetish Or Paraphilia

“I have a shopping fetish!”

“I have a total fetish for caramel-covered popcorn — it’s my favorite snack!”

“She watches the Kardashians’ shows because she has a weird Kim fetish. She’s wants to dress like her so badly.”

You’ve probably heard a comment like this at least once a… More »


Gina The Chimp Only Wants To Watch Porn (And Us Humans Are Rather Fond Of It As Well)

Sometimes I feel bad about wild animals enclosed in zoos. But I feel slightly less bad for Gina, a chimpanzee at the Seville Zoo in Spain, who spends her days watching porn on TV.

Gina’s TV has lots of different channels, but the only ones that this frisky primate watches are the ones… More »


Yes, Master! Harvard Students Now Have A BDSM Sex Club

They have the best and the brightest in the country and now they have a bondage, dominance and sadomasochism club, too.

Harvard University students are in the early stages of convening an official campus club — like, say, the school paper or the French club — centered around a shared interest in BDSM… More »