Tag Archives: kim kardashian

Morning Quickies: Khloe Gave Kim’s Marriage “Six Effing Months”

Kardashian Divorce
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It was 72 whole days of wedded bliss! Read More »
Kim's Wedding Bounty
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What Kim should do with the $17.9 million she earned. Read More »
Khloe Loves Lamar
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Khloe "found herself" when she met hubby Lamar Odom. Read More »
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  • Kathie Lee Gifford revealed on air that Khloe Kardashian walked past her at Kim’s wedding and said “I give it six f**king months.” What a lovely sentiment to share on your sister’s wedding day! [AOL TV]
  • Jessica Biel auditioned for “The Notebook” while filming “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” with Ryan Gosling while covered in blood.  [PopSugar]
  • Just because she’s preggo doesn’t mean Beyoncé will stop wearing crazy-ass heels. [Celebitchy]
  • Elisabetta Canalis is now boinking Mehcad Brooks from “True Blood.” Clooney and Mehcad Brooks? What’s your secret, woman?! [US Weekly] Keep reading »

Salman Rushdie Tweets A Limerick For Kim Kardashian

Kim's Wedding Bounty
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What Kim should do with the $17.9 million she earned. Read More »
Babyonce Tweets!
Beyonce's fetus has its own Twitter account. Read More »

Pulitzer Prize winning novelist Salman Rushdie took a break from Tweeting about smart stuff (like which Phillip Roth novel is best … I vote for American Pastoral!) to weigh in on Kim Kardashian’s divorce in limerick form:

“The marriage of poor kim #kardashian was krushed like a kar in a krashian / her kris kried, not fair! why kan’t I keep my share? / But kardashian fell klean outa fashion.”

So this is what it looks like when highbrow and lowbrow make a Twitter baby. Absolutely delightful! I feel like Kim should consider hiring him as her publicist. He could write limericks instead of press releases.

Mind Of Man: An Open Letter To Kim Kardashian

Where Are The Men?
John DeVore on where his kind are hiding. Read More »
Kim's Wedding Bounty
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What Kim should do with the $17.9 million she earned. Read More »
Kardashian Divorce
kim kardashian and kris humphries photo
It was 72 whole days of wedded bliss! Read More »

Dearest Kim,

I realize this must be a difficult time for you. I know it is for me.  When I heard of your recent divorce from Kris Humphries, I wondered if I was naïve to still believe in love. But I do believe in love, Kim. Which is why I think you should look at this recent romantic setback as an opportunity. What I’m about to suggest might seem crazy. But love is crazy, Kim. Love wears pants made out of bubble-wrap and a bath mat cape. Love hides under your bed and eats stale snack cakes. When you sleep, love kisses your eyelashes and draws hearts on your forehead with lipstick. Keep reading »

Kris Jenner: Kim Kardashian’s Ring Isn’t Worth $2 Million!

November 2, 2011

Tabloid Bombshell Smack Down: Which Headline Won?

Kim's Wedding Bounty
kim kardashian divorce photo
What Kim should do with the $17.9 million she earned. Read More »
Jessica Mummy-To Be
Jessica Simpson is pregnant for sure. Read More »

Some weeks in the blogging world are known as “slow news weeks.” Those are weeks devoid of pregnancy announcements, sex scandals, and A-list divorces. And there are other weeks when tabloid stories are breaking like waves in a hurricane. Yesterday, we enjoyed a double story break with the announcement of the end of Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries and Jessica Simpson’s “mummy” confirmation. When big stories break, it’s always strategic. Whenever a celebrity wants to hide something, they make an official statement after the weeklies have dropped.  If they’re vying for media attention and blog love, they go public just in time for the story to make the cover of the upcoming issue. So it’s a gain a week, lose a week principle. Keep reading »

Hot Links: Chris Brown’s Bulge, More Kardashian News & LeAnn Rimes Is Pregnant!

Kardashian Divorce
kim kardashian and kris humphries photo
It was 72 whole days of wedded bliss! Read More »
Kim's Wedding Bounty
kim kardashian divorce photo
What Kim should do with the $17.9 million she earned. Read More »
  • How do I put this delicately? Chris Brown is both a big dick and has a big dick. He just wishes the latter made up for the former. (You’ll have to click over to the link for the full photo.) [Crushable]
  • Well this is convenient: Kim Kardashian never got around to changing her last name of Humphries, which means she won’t have to change it back when their divorce is official! From now on, I am going to suggest that everyone wait more than 72 days before changing their names and call it “The Kardashian Waiting Period.” [TMZ]
  • Kris Jenner — that’s Kim’s mom and manager — says Kim didn’t “make a dime” off her wedding, to which I say, “Bitch, pleeeeeasssssse, and I am pregnant with Ryan Gosling’s baby.” [TooFab] Keep reading »

Morning Quickies: Dash Store Becomes A Kardashian Marriage Vigil

Kardashian Divorce
kim kardashian and kris humphries photo
It was 72 whole days of wedded bliss! Read More »
Kim's Wedding Bounty
kim kardashian divorce photo
What Kim should do with the $17.9 million she earned. Read More »
Dash store vigil photo
  • The Dash store in New York City (i.e. the boutique owned by the Kardashians) became a vigil last night, involving flowers, Us Weekly covers, and signs posting Sarah McLachlan lyrics. [Fashionista]
  • Kris Jenner will appear on “Today” tomorrow morning to address Kim’s divorce. A source tells The Hollywood Reporter that Kris Jenner insisted Kim Kardashian file for divorce on Monday, so it would make it into the weekly gossip magazines for this week. [The Hollywood Reporter]
  • The 16 best Twitter reactions to Kim Kardashian’s divorce. [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »

7 Crucial Pre-Marriage Questions (That These Celeb Brides Failed To Ask)

I definitely don’t consider myself an expert on marriage, but by virtue of being a semi-expert on celebrity marriages — with an emphasis in “rumors surrounding the cause of their demise” — I have learned some valuable lessons about matrimony. For example, part of figuring out your compatibility in the long-term with your potential spouse requires asking a few simple but crucial questions. Questions these seven celeb brides failed to ask. Don’t make the same mistake!

Evening Quickies: Two Prevailing Theories On Kim Kardashian’s Divorce

Kardashian Divorce
kim kardashian and kris humphries photo
It was 72 whole days of wedded bliss! Read More »
Kim's Wedding Bounty
kim kardashian divorce photo
What Kim should do with the $17.9 million she earned. Read More »
  • Behold, two prevailing theories on Kim Kardashian’s divorcefrom husband-of-72-days Kris Humphries — beyond, you know, their irreconcilable heigh differences: 
  1. She’s not so into the “being married entails compromise” thing. A source told the New York Post,  ”Kim didn’t want to change her lifestyle once she was married” and kept carrying on with personal appearances and filming her 612 various reality shows. [Page Six]
  2. Kris Humphries wanted to move to Minnesota. I guess Kim had no interest in opening a Dash in Minnepolis-St. Paul because she refused to move to Kris’ home state. “One of the main points of contention in the marriage was where the couple would live after all of the wedding madness finally died down,” TMZ claims. Hmm. Something to figure out before you get hitched, cherubs. [TMZ]

Keep reading »

12 Super-Short Hollywood Marriages

Well, the love story of Kim Kardashian and, uh, that one guy whose name we barely bothered to remember, has come to a conclusion. Kardashian is filing for divorce, allegedly because her basketball playing husband, Kris Humphries, wanted to live in Minnesota, while she, of course, cannot imagine leaving the paparazzi-filled streets of Hollywood. Kardashian released a statement, saying:

After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.

Indeed, it probably wasn’t in the plan to end their marriage quite this soon, but Kim luckily has nearly $18 million in crisp dollar bills she made off the wedding to mop up her tears. (Unless, of course, she actually decides to follow any of our suggestions and donates her bounty to a good cause.)

Married for only 72 days, Kim’s (second!) marriage joins a long line of short celeb marriages. Keep clicking to see some of the other speedy celebrity marriages that met an early demise.

Keep reading »

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