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For The Week Of July 21-27, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’re a lady that’s always ready for anything. However, fate has other ideas for you this week and the first thing to go will be your judgment. Throw caution and your panties to the wind, as being naughty is the only way you’ll know how to respond to new places and faces. Love it as your mind and body gets reeled around situations never quite imagined before.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

When it comes to friends, you don’t mind blending in the crowd, being the supporting member or the one that’s, “all for one and one for all.” Well, no more. The spotlight is calling your name and it’s time to trump those bitches with one up on them that’ll make them all putrid with envy and idolizing the ground you walk on. Sweet sensation no more, valiant vixen all the way.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Who you are and who the world thinks you are do not match up. In your mind, sensitivity and uncertainly loom way more than apparent on the outside — and it should stay that way. This week, you’ll be in a prime position to start negotiating a better deal in life and love. Use that poker face of yours to get what you want. People will be too scared to say, “No.”

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Reality is not a place you thrive in and thankfully; you won’t have to spend much time in there for the next few weeks. As of the 23rd, life will be rolling at a much faster pace with many more exciting chances to fly farther off the ends of the earth and live the impossible. The best news of it all, you’ll finally have a competent co-pilot that’ll know what buttons to push.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Your house of sex, death, mystery and transformation is lighting up and turning up the drama to the umpteenth degree, heightening your senses to astronomical levels of love, lust and power. To say the least, you’ll be getting your kink on and releasing all the tension that’s been making you clumsy. Yes, all your upcoming tawdry antics will be realigning your chi.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

No matter what stress come up in your life, it won’t matter. You’ll be able to stick needles in your eyeballs and not feel a thing, as the divine power of love will be taking you and your baby through a magical journey to never before adventures that’ll have you both knowing that if it’s you and him against the world, all things are possible.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Once the honeymoon ends, the pounds start rolling on. You’ve seen it happen before and you should be damned to let it happen again — to you and your boo. Comfort is great, but not if it’s making you complacent. Let vanity drive your egos and athletic competition fuel your libidos by jumpstarting fitness routines as part of your couple’s shtick. Harder bodies, hotter sex.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Love, it can make you crazy. You know you like your life to have order — however; don’t start skimping on the excitement to get it. Sure, your current lover man might not be able to fill the boots you do, in terms of militant authority and command, but he can make you laugh and for that, it makes him worth his weight in gold. Seriously, lighten up!

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Hopefully you live alone and don’t have to deal with an overbearing ego out to get too possessive or bossy on your ass. If you do happen to find yourself in that predicament, know the only way you can combat that power and get the peace back in your life is to turn up the chaos and have him realizing the level you are operating now is compromising.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Beware of what you fess up to this week. Your words have power and to the wrong ears, you can be promising way more than you want to deliver. Save yourself the efforts of having to join a witness protection program and don’t talk a bigger game than you want to play. Psychos are abound and their target is you.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Dating like a label whore isn’t going to make you happy or feel any cooler. Sure, superficial hotness is a novelty you can’t help but indulge in when the opportunity arrives, but you know that empty calorie romance blows. So, keep this in mind when a hot, but vapid stud enters into the scene. Sure, do him, but don’t convince yourself you can love him.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

All that saving for a rainy day comes to an end today, when you just say, “F’ it,” and throw the self-discipline out the door. Whatever you’ve been holding yourself back on, thinking it’s good for you, just isn’t. Extravagance, flamboyance and absolute drama are your thing and without it, you aren’t really being you. Don’t deny your destiny!

For The Week Of May 12-18, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Test new waters out. Leave your comfort zone behind. Whatever sexy stranger arrives or new challenges come your way, hop on it fast. Switching your routines and doing a 180 is in your stars. The less you hold onto the past, the more you’ll find you’re no longer who you thought you were, but someone way bolder, sexier and powerful.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’re the original “turn the other cheek” girl. You hate confrontation so much; you often get the raw end of the deal. Thankfully, karma has had your back all along and rewards for your compassion arrive. Magically, a major issue with your sweetie that you’ve been passively aggressively nagging about disappears. Seems their listening skills do work.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Competition turns you on. To heat up the boudoir, start cock battling with your baby over career and money. Although you generally do work as a team, that unspoken fight for ultimate power has always been an underlying aphrodisiac in your relationship. This week, it goes to a new level, with one pulling ahead faster than the other — most likely you.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

All the paranoia you feel about your new plaything fades. Sit back and let them do all the talking. Drop subtle hints — they’ll pick them up. In their verbiage spillage, they’ll confess everything — how they feel, what they want and what they are capable of. Of course, this won’t be direct, so listen between the lines and trust it’s all in your favor.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

On one had, lust will make you feel as if you’re hopped up on uppers 24-7. However, when it comes to articulating those feeling to the other or anyone, you somehow fall short. So, to avoid any complications, show your affection through actions rather than language. You’ll get a lot farther climbing on top to express what exactly it is that you feel.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

If you live with your honey, expect the a-hole levels to soar to new heights. Your love will get bossier than normal and hard-pressed to compromise equally. Thankfully, your social calendar is going to fill fast. So, if they want to hang around and be a s***, there’s no better time — as the house will be completely empty for them to hear themselves whine.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you have to tell a few little lies to get you what you have to, who cares? In the scheme of things, it’s all-good. After all, it’s not like it’ll harm anyone and if curbing the truth to make everyone a little more comfortable, then so be it. Of course, if the most comfortable one is you in a bed with that special someone, even better. After all, all is fair in love and war.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Lavish you and your lover with all the decadence reachable in your realm. Let go of boundaries and gorge on the finer things in life. Having spent too much time trying to “do the right thing” and disciplining yourselves to be who you aren’t is no longer a fun experiment. Turn back to the gluttons you are and realize it’s a bond that’ll keep your love alive.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Money is the number one issue couples toil over. Plus, you’re the sign of security, magnifying the dilemma. Although you’ve been trying to play it cool with your honey’s frivolous spending habits, quit it. Besides the anxiety dampening your libido and building the resentment, it’s also unnecessary. Speak out, offer suggestions and pull those purse strings. They’ll get it.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your brain will feel too scrambled to think straight. You’ll see too many options and like them all. Feel free to it talk out. You’ll find the one that boggles your mind the most and has your mind looping about endlessly will be the one you will want to go with. After all, it’s curiosity that drives you — and once you make up your mind, the rest will unfold beautifully.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Don’t wait around for understanding and appreciation. Being genuine with random acts of kindness means doing it and letting it go. Expecting anything in return is only asking for a let down. Besides, your partner can’t be on your wavelength all the time and understand the sacrifices you make. If you want to please anyone right now, make it yourself.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’re not an idiot. You know life can’t always be the way you want it to be, not all the wishes you desire come true and the ones that do don’t always feel as salacious as you dreamt. However, you’re a pro at playing the game and projecting that idyllic image. So, for now, fake it until you make it. Think of this as the ultimate testing of your belief in the laws of attraction.

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