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In Bed With … Brad Pitt

STAR STATS
Born: December 18, 1963. 6:31 a.m., Shawnee, Oklahoma
Sun Sign: Sagittarius
Ascendant: Sagittarius
Moon: Capricorn
Venus: Capricorn
Mars: Capricorn Keep reading »

Ask The Astrosexologist: Can A Scorpio & A Virgo Find Love Online?

I have been emailing and talking on the phone with a man across the county who I met through a group online. His birthday is 9/10. I was born on 11/15. We get along great, enjoy the same things and I’ve developed very warm feelings for him. He says he looks forward to meeting me, as we are both traveling to meet with other members in our group next year. But I sometimes get mixed messages from him, which makes me sad, since we have been communicating for six months everyday. Then he will call me, even if I don’t call him. Do you see a romance developing? – A Drowning Water Sign Keep reading »

For The Week Of December 22-28, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

As long as you’re in party mode, nothing will go wrong. This is your time to let loose and free yourself. If this means getting wasted and fessing up to your crush or spilling the beans to your baby on your nasty fantasies, go for it. The outcome will be better than expected. Taking chances will bring you just rewards, so play the game and win those prizes.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

With the new moon and sun happening in your family sector, this will give you the best luck when it comes to dealing with the crazy relatives. If this includes bringing your baby home to meet the parents or vice versa, it’ll go swimmingly as the whole idea of being one cozy little clan will happen better than you possibly could imagine.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

If your holidays entail a short trip, then color yourself happy as good times will come your way in the form of new and interesting types crossing your path, offering lots of worthwhile conversation and charming flirtations. While they might be more of the fleeting variety, they’ll be enough to be a nice warm Yule log roasting in your open fire.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Don’t underestimate the power of wealth. If your sweetie isn’t spending the cash literally or metaphorically on you this holiday, take it as a bad sign. Sure, there is a recession going on, but if your present underwhelms, it’s a direct translation of his feelings. After all, thought, care and sentimentality are free and priceless.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

This is your time to hop on top of any pressing matters that have been stressing you out and ride that sucker into your control. This will give you the biggest feeling of satisfaction you’ve had in a long time, as enthusiasm to be in the moment will return and that feeling of joie de vivre sparkles in your once again. Reward yourself with new f*** me shoes.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Holiday madness will force you to want to retreat and go into soul-searching mode by the end of the week. Seems the barbaric ways of the people around you will be inducing you into a subtle coma that’ll have you needing private time to recoup for the second round of cheer. Avoid the guilt, as you’ve put in your penance. Yes, you’ve earned your freedom of hermitdom.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

It’s going to be all about the love you give others, which might wind up being a little thankless early on, but chances are a surprise is coming for you that’ll prove that all your nurturing and nagging has paid off as someone close to you will be giving you something you’ve always wished and dreamt of.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Your fame is on the rise, but don’t let it go to your head. Not to say you don’t deserve all the accolades for a job well done, but not if this means taking on a snotty attitude because that won’t fly well with your honey who will be more than willing to take the role of authority and spank you back into your place. Of course, with such a firm hand, it’ll be a punishment that’ll please.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Expect one of those legendary holidays that deepen you and your boo’s bond, elevating your relationship to a more spiritual level that’ll have you feeling like you’ve been slipped a ruffie. Cast your apprehension aside, as all the doubts and questions you have in your mind will magically get their answers as the rest of the year unravels.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Lucky devil, your house of sex is lighting up big time. It seems a new man is about to come into your life to shake your feathers in a way you’ve never quite had before, bringing out a more intimate side to you that has you feeling more intense. You know it, this mystery man will be a chock full of surprises, ones that can even make you blush.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your relationship’s commitment factor will be your major focus, as big decisions are coming down to the wire. Yes, this is going to be one of those make or break moments that’ll have you feeling the pressure. Luckily, the chances are it’ll be sweet and perfect, so make sure you have the full on hair and make-up happening because these moments will be Kodak moments.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

All your vices will be wearing thin, making you feel exacerbated by the old ways and ready for a change. Call it your own X-mas Carol moment, but something will jog your mind, throwing you into a future tense mode and forcing change. Yes, sudden break-ups and breakdowns are expected, but at the end, you’ll be victorious.

In Bed With … Fabrizio Moretti

STAR STATS
Born: June 2, 1980, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Sun Sign: Gemini
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Capricorn
Venus: Cancer
Mars: Virgo Keep reading »

Ask The Astrosexologist: Should I Wait Around For My Cancer Man To Commit?

“I’m used to being with bad boys, jocks, and jerks, so the day I met this sweet, easy-going guy, I fell hard right away. But my first red flag should have been the fact that he cheated on his ex-girlfriend with me. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. He was following that, “Don’t ask, don’t tell policy,” I guess. He broke up with her shortly after we hooked up. He claimed she was ‘evil.’ By May we were exclusive. Now our relationship is long distance. We see each other once a month. We talk all the time and the times we are together are amazing. He’s in the army and now he is moving even farther away. He wanted me to move and be with him, but I have a good job and I also have a son. It would be hard to just up and move across the country. I told him if he ever proposed to me, I’d move in a heartbeat. It’s been almost eight months. He claims I’m ‘the one,’ says he has no doubts about us and doesn’t want to lose me, but he isn’t ready for marriage. I’ve been putting off accepting a good job and buying a house because I’ve been thinking that we will be together. I’ve been waiting and it’s not happening. He says it’s not that he’s not sure about being with me, he’s just not sure about marriage. Should I wait it out? Or move on without him? The long distance relationship is killing me! He told me he has no idea when he will be ready. My birthday is 09/22/1986 and his is 06/24/1986. – Torn Virgo Keep reading »

For The Week Of December 15-21, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’re under no obligation to do anything you don’t want to. After all, why fight the selfish, lazy, and irritable mood that’s how you honestly feel? Bah humbug all the way, but you’re not the only one feeling the slump. When it comes to connecting over misery, you’ll find complaining is an effective and joyous method of foreplay.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Bitching will get you heard, and the louder the better. No more sitting on the sidelines, trying to play perfect in your partnership, as that isn’t going to make you happy at the end of the day. This isn’t to say your honey isn’t out to please, but when you don’t say a thing, how will he ever know what to do? He may be cute, but smart? Not always.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’ll finally hear words you want to hear, but where that’ll lead won’t be what you’d assume. It seems a new can of worms will open, leading you down another dramatic path that has more questions than answers. At least the power to decide your fate is back in your hands, and that’s as good as you can ask for at this point.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

The bottom line on your current prospect is if you’re not feeling the love by this week, call it quits, as you’ll never get to that level of intimacy you crave. Yes, your optimist is getting the better of you, and to think your latest deeper than he is would only be wasting your imagination. Better to spend your time in bed catching up on sleep.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

If your baby can’t get with your current program, then it’s time to listen to those voices in your head and reconsider past compromises you’ve made as a favor to him. Time to see the bigger picture and realize you’ve been getting the shorter end of the stick. Llike any red-blooded lady, if you’re going to be stuck with any side of the a stick, you need it big. Don’t settle.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

When it comes to friends, it makes life a lot easier when they’re enablers. This week, when life brings a new batch of weirdos to court you, feel free to call in the peanut gallery to get their assessments. Chances are they’ll find just the right way to paint a fun and enticing picture. After all, if your love life can’t be rewarding, it should at least be entertaining.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

New loves are not your old ones. Sure, the past matters in building your future, but when you short-circuit and hold someone new accountable for past sins of a prior relationship, that’s called head-tripping. Resolve your issues before getting in too deep with another. The emotional luggage you’re carrying is a cross too heavy to bear for you and any other trying to get near.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Your idealism will be percolating with all sorts of grand visions of your holidays, which can be a source of great inspiration or damnation, depending on the expectations you place on those around you. However, chances improve if you use your expansive imagination, as it seems those around you won’t be on par with your agenda.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Midweek, there’ll be a blip of something that could be remotely romantic in your life, but otherwise this isn’t the perfect moment for love. Surprisingly enough, you won’t care, as you’ll be far too consumed with work and trying to get all those errands done on time to be free enough to enjoy getting properly sloshed and sexed during the holidays.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Secrets are going to pour out, and skeletons in closets that you didn’t think you had will blindside you. Thankfully, this will come just in time to show you that your latest catch isn’t as dull as you had assumed and actually has some edge. Now, with gossip and drama back at your disposable, you’ll be feeling in your element once again.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Finally, you’ll feel as if the universe has some sympathy for you, as that contentious side of your honey will subside and be willing to call a truce long enough to discuss compromise. However, just because he’s talking the right words, until he backs it up with action, don’t sigh that breath of relief quite yet.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

People can badger you all they want and you can ignore them — but when your boo starts throwing his two cents in on the way you should be living, that’s when you have to break out the diva speeches and tell him to stop projecting his crap onto you. While there might be some truth in his accusations, there are other, less rude ways to nag, without killing your holiday buzz.

Welcome To Hell: The Saturn Return

Karma is a bitch; that’s the cliché you intensely learn as you hit the period of your life roughly between the ages of 27 and 31, as Saturn, the planet of reckoning, enters back to the position it was when you were born, throwing you into existential angst, creating merciless upheaval and forcing you to own up to who you are and your potential or sinking pitifully to the bottom. Everything you need to know about the Saturn Return, after the jump… Keep reading »

In Bed With … Ed Westwick

Born: June 27, 1987, Stevenage, Hertfordshire, England, UK
Sun Sign (Basic Self): Cancer
Ascendant (Social Façade): Unknown
Moon (Emotions): Cancer Keep reading »

Ask The Astrosexologist: Aquarian Can’t Trust Her Pisces Man

“I am an Aquarius woman who has been with a Pisces man for four blissful months. Around the end of the fourth month, I was confronted by his other girlfriend whom I didn’t know existed. After hearing everything that went on and being so filled with fury, we both plotted and schemed to bring him down. But then, this man assured me that he had “emotionally” ended things with his girlfriend, that he never had sexual relations with her after meeting me and was planning to end it. We both agreed to bury the incident and try working on the relationship again.

The problem is, I continue to doubt and accuse him of lying to me when he is out with ‘friends’ and he can’t get over the things his other girlfriend told him about. She told him everything I said in anger and the things we plotted. Since then, he has not loved me the same and continually brings up the past every time we argue. I really love this man and want to work things out, but I wonder if things will ever be the same again. I feel as if my emotional walls are building back up and I am growing tired of my suspicion and his keeping a record of every wrong move. My birth date is 2/2/79, 9am, Korea. Please help.” – Ready to Give Up Keep reading »

For The Week Of December 8-14, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Not everyone is as together as you, but you can’t penalize another for it. This week, there may be hope if you’re willing to take control and show him the way. Frustrating and aggravating, for sure. Rewarding and touching, surprisingly so. Seems something about his neediness will be endearing and something about your bossiness will be extra saucy.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’ll have to tune out a lot when it comes to getting the romantic week you deserve. As it’ll go, there’ll be many opinions spewed and many demands made that won’t bode well with your state of mind. However, the visuals will be to your liking and as long as you approach the matters as objects d’art having its nuances they’ll be no pain.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Negotiations with you and sweetie are going to get tough in many ways. Besides seeing another side to that someone you didn’t think could exist, it’ll also bring out a feeling inside of you that you hate. All in all, an emotionally stressful time that’ll have you needing to spend a lot of money on useless things.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your freakiness is about to turn up a few notches as they’ll be a friendly someone that’s been close to you this whole time that’ll unleash his and inspire you to spill all your secrets as if you were the fountains of Trevi — and like that historical spot, if you throw your two cents in, you’ll get what you ask for.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Nobody is perfect and although you know it, you somehow can’t seem to accept it. So, instead of trying to fight yourself and convince yourself that the impossible can happen with this person, remove yourself from the situation where you have these expectations and vindicate yourself. Out of sight is soon out of mind.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Listening to your human sex toy bitch all day blows, especially when he doesn’t pay attention to all your worries and woes. If you’re going to get any satisfaction this week, it’ll be through more private and personal affairs. Tune out the world and focus back on you. If this means plugging in a more loyal friend, at least it’s guaranteed to satisfy without talking back.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Burn the sage and clear the negative vibes from your home. The energy has gone straight up sour. Refresh the mood to revitalize your inner vixen. Although this might sound ridiculous now, do it and in a few days you’ll see your pad return to being party central with your body as the altar in which many will want to worship. After all, what do you have to lose?

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Not everyone can be your honey and not everyone can be just a friend. If it were that easy, there would be far less books on the shelves in stores today. So, instead of frustratingly trying to make sense of a star-crossed situation, accept you can’t put a circle in a square and do what you must. Only you can draw this boundary and the chalk is in your hands.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your misguided generosities have burned you before, but you never seem to learn. This time around, you have too much to lay on the line for just any pretty face that you think you can save. Pull the purse strings shut now and put your love where it’ll matter, as in anywhere, but with him. If he’s worth it, let him sort it out and then try to win you back.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You’ve exhausted explaining your point of view. If that special someone isn’t seeing it, you might have to question his intelligence and weigh out how important the issue at hand truly is versus how dear that oblivious person is to you. However, if you give them the chance to express to you without words what they do understand, you might just find a compromise.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your wild side will be out needing to be satiated. Unfortunately, your logic will be tugging at you, trying to censor your behavior and leaving you one big ole confused mess. Luckily, you’re in the right place at the right time to take cues from your boo, as listening will be bring you the sweetest nectar.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Battles with your baby that you never thought would end are going to. Call it a miracle or a hard won truce, but your peace of mind will get restored. Love it and don’t question it. In fact, best to move ahead quickly to erase the trauma from your minds. If possible, go for a spontaneous weekend love-fest. From there, all things will be possible again.

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