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For The Week Of August 2-8, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

If you want the love and respect you deserve, then be the first one to give it to yourself. You are going to have to set the standards. Not only will this give that special someone clues as to who you really are; it’ll also let you redefine yourself for you. It’ll be fun as hell to be the princess of your own fairy tale, so set your sights high.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Who cares what anyone else wants? Call it selfishness or call it total self-possession, there is nothing wrong with being clear with what you need and what you want. If that person on the other line can’t get with the program, then take it as sign they don’t care as much as they should, then start to prepare your proper punishment and have fun executing!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Just when you are so over something, it comes back to make you wonder if you are really are as “done” as you think. However, don’t try to second-guess yourself, because chances are you have done all you can. If there is going to be a miracle, it won’t be on your part. So just keep looking ahead and know that baggage is just too heavy a burden to bear.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Dream a little dream and then let it go. Yes, let the universe know what you want and then let it take care of things. The only thing you can do now is hope that you have enough karma to get your wish granted and that shortly you’ll be back to feeling like the hot and sexy love muffin everybody knows and wants to do.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Sometimes to get ahead you just have to suck it up, as it takes fighting the right battles to win the war. Getting caught in the injustice of each minute won’t get you anywhere. Too bad, this is the week you are going to have to suck it up for the greater good, but trust you’re doing the right thing. If you do, know that swallowing this wrong won’t be so ba

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

By the end of this week, expect to turn into one of those people you make fun of on the street, all giggles and smiles. Seems there is building momentum on something that’ll fuel your fires in such a way that you’ll feel as if you suddenly have the answer to all the world’s existence. To say the least, you’ll be hot, hot, hot!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

This week marks the start to a fun cycle for you to get your rocks off with hot guys, because your visual senses will be in hot pursuit and have the perfect aim, as there will be eye-candy galore to take in. However, you will have time to soak in this sexy streak, so bide your time. You wouldn’t want to wear out at the beginning, would you?

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Forget trying to fight it and just let your baby take the reins. Yes, as scary as that sounds, it’s a feat you must try and you must be open to accepting the outcome. Chances are, surprise understandings will be learned and a whole new appreciation for that special someone could be just what you need this week to restore your faith in humanity.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Keep your eye on the prize because you’ll have more than a few distractions to steer you away from your priorities, making you feel like you have to find your balance once again. However messy it will get from moment to moment, don’t worry, as the ride will have a few bumps that will surprise you. Seems not everyone around you is as apathetic as you think.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You can dream all you want to, but if the fantasies are actually a mound of excuses, it’s time to recalibrate your point of view and aim for a more substantial target. Not to say having the ability to get lost in a reverie isn’t a luxury to appreciate — it’s nice to have hope. But there is a time to draw the line on all good things. All parties eventually end.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Not to be the bearer of bad news, but you won’t have much control with the upcoming frustrations in your home or with family. There will be an influx of flakiness and broken promises headed your way. Just don’t take it personally, as it’s not meant to hurt. So is life with those you love the most.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Your graciousness will be in top form, giving you the ability to properly play puppet master with your boo. So be cool and a little bit cruel with how you rule, as this is the time to really get your ideas and bigger plans into motion with as little strife as possible. Suddenly, all that you want will sound like an ice cream sundae with a cherry on top.

Ask The Astrosexologist: “How Do I Reignite The Fire With My Aquarius Husband?”

I’m a Scorpio (11/3/79) and my husband is Aquarius (2/19/76). Even though our sex life was never fireworks, crazy monkeys swinging from the ceilings, we were at least consistent. Today, we are not. I love having sex, all kinds. I brought my fire to him and he seemed to get into parts of it. I brought out his inner grrrrrr when we were dating and we’d have fun having sex all over. We got married after dating for six months and now he doesn’t suggest anything. I don’t get a look, a touch, a hint or anything. One big problem is that I’ve never had to make the moves. I’ve always been pursued and I love it! I am more than willing to reciprocate and show the love, but getting there is another issue. I think about it all the time, but I’m not in the mood or get horny just sitting there. I’ve mentioned this to him before and asked if he doesn’t find me attractive or what … I cry thinking about all the amazing sex I’ve had and how it was always waiting for me. Now, I feel horrible about myself that I have to even ask for my husband to want to touch me. I’m 5’10 and a size 6. I’ve stayed beautiful for him, but on the inside I feel like dying. Help me! — Horny

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For The Week Of July 26-August 1, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll have had enough of playing the nice gal, as you’ll see that no matter how much you give or how much you sacrifice, you won’t be getting back your due — and it’s not like you haven’t made enough excuses either. Thankfully, this week a lightning bolt “a-ha!” moment is coming and will start putting you back on track to sanity.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

It’s not always about what you should do. Sometimes it’s about what you’ve already done well and celebrating that, as those are the things that’ll move you onto the fast track. Working smart doesn’t have to mean working hard in that conventional sense. It’s time to understand hard work isn’t about trying to convince yourself you’re doing the right thing.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Big shifts will slowly start to appear, so pay attention to the symbols. This week, nothing is going to seem so linear, so when you get a strange feeling about something but don’t want to say it, for fear of ruining it, trust you are onto something. However, no matter how psychic you are feeling, know there are still a few twists and turns that even you won’t see coming.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Bigger voices will be trying to talk over you. While your first response is to blast them out of the water by being even louder, reconsider. It seems that someone will have something meaningful and important to say, but you have to be paying attention. While their delivery could be better, realize perfection can’t exist every minute.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Your latest spin at love has you reeling. Now, time to take a pause and set other priorities into play. This week, setting your sights on new career goals will be you best bet, as nothing like power will ignite your confidence and libido with such fervor. After all, boss lady is a role in which you thrive — in and out of the boardroom.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Who cares how dorky your tastes are? We all get off with our own kinks, but for those who try to knock yours, realize they are just big fat haters. Whatever, it’s not like you’re running for the popular vote anyhow, so enjoy stepping out and walking to your own beat. Thankfully, that first step is the hardest and from there, it’ll be cake.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Your creativity will be flowing, making you feel as if your brain is glowing. So make the most of it by surprising your boo with something special that’ll make him coo. The sex will be so hot don’t be shocked if he proposes on the spot! But even if that exact thing doesn’t hold true, something just as majorly magical will happen to you.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Friends aren’t perfect. But that particular friend who’s been getting on your nerves will stretch your last one and it might be time to delete them forever. This will cause much rejoicing in your household. The drama it releases will make you feel light on your feet and as horny as a goat — making your baby the double winner this week, as he probably hated that bitch too.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Just giving someone a look isn’t going to cut it. So, as a hot stranger comes onto your scene, don’t hesitate to turn into the welcome wagon and put your name into his suggestion box. Not to say you have to do all the hunting, but make him curious enough to want to come get more. If you lead him, he will come.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Romance is in the air and all you have to do is breathe it in. That’s right: someone who instantly clicks with you, makes you laugh, makes you think, and can even make you sweat in all the right places. While this sounds too good to be true, the catch is that it might just be two ships passing in the night … but who knows? Planes, trains and automobiles can keep any magic alive.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Sex is only half of the story. Even though it is like finding a needle in a haystack to find someone truly compatible with your vibe, if they can’t fulfill anything anymore, don’t try to keep hope alive. While he can read your body, he just doesn’t have the brains to read your mind and while this seems hard to swallow, trust there are better things out there to wrap yourself around.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Whatever you and your baby are at odds over is going to reach a tipping point, but the good news is that chances are it’ll be to your favor. Seems your diplomatic ways will somehow light a bulb in his mind and get him more on your page. Not to say all is going to be paradise instantly, but at least you’ll have something to work with.

Ask The Astrosexologist: Strong Aries Wants To Bounce Back From Bad Ex

I am an Aries woman and have been sleeping with an Aquarius guy for the past two years. To make a long story short, I fell for his “I’ve-fallen-in-love-with-you-but-can’t-date-you-due-to-xyz-obligation.” He made promises of us being together in wedded bliss once he finished school and stressed his “dutiful son” role came before anything else, including his friends and me.

Over the course of this time, I’d break up with him often, but would return after he apologized and vowed eternal love, soon to be sleeping with him again. Then, just a couple of weeks ago, I reached my breaking point. I played detective and found out that he has about five other women he’s “in love with.” He’s told them all that they’re the ones and they’re meant to be together. One of these is a married woman and leaving her husband for him. After the shock, I confronted and dumped him immediately.

Of course, his first reaction was to bluff. Then he blocked my calls and threatened me with a lawsuit. Finally, he has e-mailed me to say that we were never together, I’m crazy, and I broke up with him all the time, so he had to move on. So, my question isn’t about him, because he’s a complete prick. My love question is for me: what’s wrong with me? I am an Aries woman; aren’t I supposed to have more pride and strength? He has been the only man I’ve let emotionally abuse me. I’ve never dealt with a cheater before; why do I yearn for his e-mails, just so we can argue? Why am I an emotional-cutter? – Too Numb for a Witty Name

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In Bed With … Taylor Lautner

VITAL STATS:
Born:
February 11, 1992 in Grand Rapids, Michigan
Sun Sign: Aquarius
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Taurus
Mercury: Aquarius
Venus: Capricorn
Mars: Capricorn

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For The Week Of July 19-25, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Holding back your secrets will backfire on you now and could lead to you looking less confident to that certain someone. The holes in your story won’t add up, which could lead to them filling in those gaps with their own whacked-out stories. So, if you want to be free already, just let it out and embrace your freakiness.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

An issue you were facing at the beginning of the year may start to creep back into the picture. While you think you can handle it all on your own, avoid that. Call in the back-up: it’ll be having a strong support team with many points of view that will help you see the bigger picture and the most innovative solutions. Plus, it’s best not to be alone right now.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your star status is going to be coming through, as opportunities that take you far from your comfort zone arrive and will test how open-minded and flexible you truly are. Dreams aren’t always cracked up to be as fantastical as you want them to be, as strings attached always wind up throwing in a little bitter to the sweet.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

On one hand, you will be taking a giant leap forward in your personal development, but in your love life, a dark shadow will be cast. It seems that whom you are running with won’t be able to keep up and the passive-aggressive ways they will decide to act out will be the hair that breaks the camel’s back. Oh well, cheers to the survival of the fittest!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Making agreements with your boo is half the battle. Too bad enforcing them is where the real work has to take place. This week, seems you haven’t read all the fine print, as what you thought you were getting isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. A difference in semantics has you wondering what kind of idiot your honey can be.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Things will heat up — you will be taking a giant step to a deeper commitment with your baby and getting closer to the life you dream of. However, don’t sabotage yourself by asking too many questions, as some things won’t have answers and other issues can only be solved in their own time. Right now, it’s about walking through the fire, not over-analyzing it.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Sex is the metaphor for a relationship. So if you’re getting your rocks off in a fun and fab way routinely, you have nothing go worry about. If not, time to put more effort in to make it happen, as not everything comes on a silver platter. No one is that entitled: it’s not good for the soul and, certainly, it’ll never make you a good lay.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Just when you thought you’ve made your mind to go one way, this week will have you doing a sudden 180 and wanting to try another way. No one has ever pegged you as predictable, but this might even be a shock to you. Of course, the real surprise is what will make you want to change your trajectory.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’ll be at your luckiest if you let your past be your guide to your future, which means don’t try to give anyone or any situation the benefit of the doubt now. You’ve learned your lessons and it’s time to put that knowledge into play. As it goes, burn you once, shame on them; burn you twice, shame on you.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

When it comes down to who and what you can trust, you’re going to have to get down to business and ask smart questions. Friends won’t be much help, not because they’re being shady, because they’ll be just as confused as you. As for your honey, be ready to read between the lines. This week, people around you will be more about saying what you want to hear than the truth.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

This week might leave you tossing and turning, as career and home life get disruptions that make you want to run for cover. Whatever the trauma, know the solution is a slow one, but one that will have positive and lasting results. Until then, hit the spa, stores, salon, etc. Yes, if this means spoiling yourself silly to maintain your balance during this rocky pass, then so be it.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Time to put up your hands and stop the insanity. Enough of hearing people’s ideas on how you should be living and what is best for you, because last time you checked, they were more messed-up then you ever were and it’s time to point that out. So while this isn’t the sexiest thing to do with your mouth right now, at least it will provide some form of satisfaction.

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