“Experts” are constantly telling us how to do things: How To Find Your Soulmate In 5 Days, How To Brew Your Own Beer, How To Write The Perfect Love Letter and so on. But I’m convinced the kids of the world should really be the ones running it, what with their impartial insights and inability to bullshit. Lucky for those of you who need some help with the ladies, some smart kid has written a no-fail guide on “How To Pick Up Chicks” (which he spelled ‘Checks,’ but this has nothing to do with banking). This, my friends, is how it’s done. [Reddit]
Oh, great, there’s a new weight loss app for kids. That’s awesome. I know I would’ve loved that when I was a kid.
You know what was the best thing about my childhood? Everything that didn’t have to do with being hyper-aware of my weight and what food I was or wasn’t “supposed” to eat. Like, seriously, everything else. I loved school, I was in community theatre, I took art classes, I played dress-up with my sister, I listened to music, my family went to museums, we road tripped, I had awesome adventures with my friends. But I was very tall, kind of stocky (genetically), and overweight on top of that. Not extremely overweight, just chubby. But it was treated like a fucking crisis, both by my parents and doctors and by my peers, who called me the Pillsbury Dough Girl, poked my stomach, and then got mad at me when I didn’t accordingly feel like going “hm-hmmm!” Keep reading »
“Elmo can see that Miss Lupita’s skin is a beautiful brown color!”
That’s Elmo learning all about skin when “12 Years A Slave” actress Lupita Nyong’o visited “Sesame Street.” They talked about touch and tickling, but the most heartwarming part of their skin conversation is loving their skin color. I hope all the kids who watch Elmo and Lupita learn to love the skin they’re in, just like her. [YouTube]
This little girl’s perfectly pleasant game of peekaboo was ruined when her dad decided it would be oh so fun to shave his beard off. Whether she didn’t recognize her dad without that beard or just thought he looked super gross without his facial fuzz, she was not having it. Hey, at least she knows how to be direct. [Jezebel]
Nothing brings joy to our hearts and barren wombs like “Apparently Kid”! And his appearance on “Ellen” yesterday did not disappoint. Noah Ritter — the five-year-old boy whose interview with a local newscaster went viral for his strong opinions about carnival rides and adorable overuse of the word “apparently” — took some time out from kindergarten to visit Ellen DeGeneres. Noah filled her in on his new favorite word and the perils of walking to the bus stop. Someone get this kid an agent! [YouTube]