• Kelly Bensimon of “The Real Housewives of New York City” is slated to appear in the December issue of Playboy. [Dlisted]—Are lopsided breasts a fetish now?
• Villagers in the town of Pataudi near Delhi have accused Julia Roberts of interrupting one of their most important religious festivals, Navratri, with the filming of “Eat, Pray, Love” at their temple. [BBC]—I don’t really know how things go in this village, but I’d assume the temple officials (if there are any) would have known when the filming would occur before agreeing.
• Sylvester Stallone, like a lot of other celebrities, is tinier than he tries to portray. Check him out next to his children. [City Rag]

Who isn’t  “Real Housewife” Kelly Bensimon running from? [NYC, 7/20/09]

So basically, Kelly Bensimon went on a shopping trip with The Daily Beast for stuff she already owns. (Gold $370 Gryphon shorts? Wore them to a Kim Kardashian party! “Sexy rocker chick” miniskirt from Intermix? It’s already packed for this weekend’s trip to Miami! An “Alaia meets Pocahontas” belt? Just snapped it up!) Seriously, every photo she’s in, Kelly’s pawing a dress or an accessory that’s presently hanging in her closet. So what’s to talk about then? If you ignore the actual “shopping” part of the shopping trip, Kelly offers up some of her usual nuggets of complete and utter nonsense. Gems after the jump!

Today’s New York Times Style section covers the rise and possible bail out of It Girl fashion model Agyness Deyn. Will she pursue acting? Singing? Will she leave modeling altogether? Well, you won’t get any straight (or even vaguely specific) answers from her, not even on the more benign questions. (It seems she’s gone to the Kelly Bensimon school of question answering—talk in circles about unrelated topics and hope the interviewer doesn’t notice!) But, as the NYT reporter suggests, does she actually have nothing going on upstairs, or is it just a way to fend off a line of questioning, remain elusive and thus intriguing to most everyone? You decide. Some Agy gems, after the jump!

There’s drama, drama, drama over the next season of “The Real Housewives of New York City.” While Kelly Bensimon, the newbie housewife-that-everyone-loves-to-hate, is officially on board, the original cast members––Bethany Frankel, Alex McCord, Ramona Singer, and Jill Zarin (there was no mention of LuAnn de Lesseps)––are rumored to be stalling on signing their contracts for the third season because they’re holding out for six-figure deals. Aren’t these women already loaded?! I hope these six-figures are going to Creaky Joints, the arthritis charity the Housewives threw a benefit for last season.

• Kelly Bensimon of “The Real Housewives of New York City” has been ordered to perform two days of community service as a plea deal stemming from misdemeanor assault charges from an incident with her boyfriend. [PopEater]—Don’t expect her to put her name on any invitations.
• Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr looked like they took a bath in some orange goop before attending Shane West’s birthday bash. [Perez Hilton]—Jessica’s orange skin isn’t the only tragedy. Homegirl shouldn’t go partying if she knows her roots will sweat out.
• Chris Brown’s ex-girlfriend says Rihanna bloodied his face the night of the altercation. [Media Takeout]

On last night’s episode of “The Real Housewives Of New York City,” Kelly Bensimon attempted to tear Bethenny a new you-know-what for daring to call her “Madonna” at the arthritis charity meeting. Bethenny, as you may recall, was appalled that Kelly wouldn’t put her name on the invitation (Kelly doesn’t lend her name to anything), which just added to her general dislike of the latest housewife.

[Note: Personally, I think the [soon-to-be-former] C(o)untess LuAnn had Kelly added to the show so she would seem less evil in comparison. Totally worked, FYI, as LuAnn seems like Mother Theresa to me now.]