So, it isn’t Hump Day, but this blind item just can’t wait until then.

All the talk this week will be about Goat and Pillow, but as they weren’t married, this is just a breakup and division of assets, both live and inanimate. Far more complex and interesting is the ongoing saga of Chip and Grin, who are now living completely apart with a new agreement signed and sealed. She has the kid/s full time, which was a major triumph for her. Where did she get so much leverage? She found out that her marriage isn’t valid in the US and that Grin is planning on abetting a criminal pal (and alleged lover) of his out of the country and into a private love shack.

While the characters are obvious (Brad, Angelina, Tom, and Katie), the gossip—if true, which, who knows?—is juicy. [Blind Gossip]

• Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are ready for their second baby. [OK! Magazine]
• Lisa Loeb gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday, Nov. 29. [PopEater]
• George Clooney has introduced his Italian girlfriend to his mom. [Us Weekly]

Finally! The mystery of Suri Cruise’s kitten heels is solved. Explains mom, Katie Holmes to “Access Hollywood”:

“They are actually ballroom dancing shoes for kids. I found them for her and she loves them.”

I didn’t realize Suri was a ballroom dancer.

You may have seen photos recently of Suri Cruise running around in a pair of little high heels. She's ... 3. At first, I thought it was a Halloween thing, but she's been traipsing all over the place in them. I won't lie. They are cute. But having worn high heels for years, I know the toll they take on your feet, and I can't help but wonder about the consequences of wearing heels when your age is still in the single digits. (Remember those high heels for babies? Sure, Suri's heels are low, but she's having a hard time walking in them, clearly.

It’s Wednesday, and is it just me, or has work been especially hard as we head towards the calorific holiday season? Just be glad that you won’t be critiqued by millions on your pecan pie-induced weight gain, and when you get too drunk at the office party, you won’t have to read about it on the cover of a magazine the next day. Celebrities aren’t so lucky. But their pain is our gain because their (possibly fictional) dramas are usually more interesting than anything we could make up on our own. And because we love you so much, we’ve read every tabloid that came out today and hand-picked the juiciest stories. Enjoy!

Good question! Allow me to explain. This foursome—some chick who was not credited in the photo notes, Anna Paquin, Jeremy Strong, and Katie Holmes—are part of the cast of “The Romantics,” a movie currently shooting in Long Island. This is of interest because I am reading the book, The Romantics by Galt Niederhoffer (which I bought simply because I loved the cover), and it’s totally awesome, so I’m psyched they’re making a movie, even if Mrs. Tom Cruise is in it. (She’ll be balanced out by Adam Brody, who is hot and also in the movie along with Malin Ackerman, Elijah Wood, and Josh Duhamel.) The story “revolves around eight friends from college who reunite for a wedding. Holmes plays Laura, the maid of honor to Paquin’s Lila, the bride. Laura and Lila are best friends who both have a past with the groom (Duhamel).” Lila, FYI, is kind of an entitled bitch, which makes this tale even juicier. Can’t wait for it to hit theaters next year! [Long Island, NY, 11/11/09]

On a Halloween jog in Boston, where he’s filming “Knight & Day,” Tom Cruise keeps a tight hold of wifey Katie Holmes, lest she make a real run for it. [via Daily Mail]

Oh sweet Wednesdays, alleviating the happy hangovers of last weekend and preparing us for the crazy times that will be this weekend’s Halloween candy-corn binge. Just like the neighborhood kids, your favorite celebrities are also playing make-believe—although not voluntarily—in the pages of this week’s tabloids. Once again, we’ve compiled the super true-ish stories from this week’s ‘bloids for your unembarrassed perusal. Enjoy, cause this week’s are pretty major.

Sometimes we feel like Us Weekly‘s “The Fashion Police” and other similar style critics can be a tad harsh. Also, they tend to have these really boring, conservative styles and we have to wonder what their real fashion credentials are. (Case in point: US Weekly‘s “Top Cops” include random comedian Stefanie Novik and Chet Cannon of “The Real World, Brooklyn.” When did they ever go to design school!?) The Fashion Peacekeepers are here to say, hey, can’t everyone’s styles just get along?

This week, fashion police across the interwebs ragged on the see-through t-shirt with black bra underneath one-two punch Katie Holmes wore to the 16th Women In Hollywood Tribute in Beverly Hills. We’re not always the biggest fans of Mrs. Cruise’s attempts at haute couture, but you can’t say the sheer trend isn’t major right now, and if ever there was a classy way to wear it, this is most definitely the way to go. Besides, she is pulling off the decent exposure look far more than British “It Girl” Charley Uchea did recently. We’re still reeling from that one.

Ever since Katie Holmes cut her hair super-super short, I’ve been waiting with bated beauty breath for her to start in on that awkward “growing-out” hair phase. Well, that time is finally here, folks, and we can all learn a thing or two from her on the hair front. (And got to hand it to her—unlike every other celeb out there, she has resisted the urge to throw a crapload of extensions on to fix the problem.) Here are six tips on how to grow out your hair chicly, after the jump.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes took their little tyke, Suri, out for a walk in Boston, MA yesterday, where the average temperature was 51 degrees. Katie dressed appropriately. Suri, in her short, sleeveless sundress, bare legs, and peep-toe heels, was not. Is that cup of Starbucks coffee keeping her warm?

“He usually likes everything, but sometimes I’ll walk out and he’ll say, ‘I think that dress might be wearing you. You don’t need that.’ Tom has great taste.”

—Katie Holmes on husband Tom Cruise in the November issue of Elle. Pardon me, but what straight man—besides Rachel Zoe’s husband Rodger—says “that dress might be wearing you”?

Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, and son Connor go for a jog on a lovely day in Boston. [Cambridge, MA, 10/4/09]

Katie Holmes wants you to know she’s so much more than just a pretty face actress. Recently, she shimmied and sang her way through “So You Think You Can Dance,” and now she’s launching a clothing line—just like her former bestie Posh Spice! Unlike Posh, who went at her clothing line solo, Holmes has linked up with her stylist, Jeanne Yang, to create this “premium designer” line. The collection, Holmes & Yang, will focus solely on women’s wear and kids’ clothes. Both mothers began designing clothes “for friends and their children,” as Yang told InStyle earlier this year. Now, they’re expanding their brand to the masses—and, hopefully, we can afford it. No word on price points yet, but if where it’s sold is any indicator (exclusively at celeb-shopping haven Maxfield’s in Los Angeles), it won’t be cheap. [WWD]

• Katie Holmes and her stylist Jeanne Yang are teaming up to create a fashion line for women and kids. [OK! Magazine]—The children’s line is reportedly inspired by Suri’s fashion sense, which means it will include lots of princess dresses and won’t be affordable.
• Jon Gosselin accused estranged wife Kate of “trying to cry it up for the cops” when she called 911 and broke down after he wouldn’t let her inside the gate of his house. [People]—Even if she did put on a sob fest, it didn’t work; Kate was sent home as Jon had custody of the kids that day.
• Jennifer Aniston will be singing and playing an instrument in her next film, “The Goree Girls.” [Us Weekly]—Is anyone else a little afraid to hear this?
• While Leonardo DiCaprio snuggled up with his new model galpal, ex-girlfriend Bar Rafaeli got on with her life by shooting the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. [Popeater]—After Leo sees this issue, he might regret their breakup a little more…
• “Scrubs” star Sarah Chalke has confirmed she’s expecting her first baby in the winter with hubby and entertainment lawyer Jamie Afifi. [Just Jared]—Congrats to the cute couple!

With the mega success of the first “Sex and the City” movie, everybody in Hollywood probably wants a part in “Sex and the City 2.” But clearly only the chosen ones can have their dream come true. Rumor has it that a very lucky Katie Holmes is one of those selected. She has been approached to play “a really ballsy, high-powered company executive who tangles with Samantha” in the sequel. Holmes is doubtlessly crossing her fingers and toes that Tommy boy gives his stamp of approval. Because she and Victoria Beckham would have so much fun on set. [NY Post]

Last night on “So You Think You Can Dance,” Katie Holmes—yes, Mrs. Tom Cruise—performed a dance routine as an homage to Judy Garland and also to promote The Dizzy Feet Foundation, which provides art scholarships to children and teens. The charity is cool, the performance was meh. She looked fabulous and I think she does have a real presence on stage, but her dancing is only OK and her lip-syncing was, uh, off at times. Check it out above.

In an interview with People, hunky “True Blood” vampire Stephen Moyer said that he and his girlfriend/co-star, Anna Paquin, box together for fun. “I like the sport and she likes the blood,” he said. Apparently, Anna can hold her own in the ring. “She won’t stop until she’s gnawed your stumps off. I tell you, my girl is hardcore,” said Moyer. [People]

Wow, this is a little weird. We wonder if these two are confusing their real relationship with their “True Blood” romance? Either way, they are not the only couple that has strange, vaguely kinky, relationship rituals. After the jump, a few other couple with strange habits.