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You may not care that right now, as you read this, the heir to the English throne might be crowning out of Kate Middleton’s vagina. But guess what? You don’t have to care. I’ll care for you. Yes, the British royal family is my guilty pleasure. They’re just a clique of funny-looking rich people with no real power and yet their drunken nightclub stumbles, silly hats and romantic foibles are endlessly fascinating to me. With Kate about to give birth to a baby — third-in-line to the throne! — any minute now, it’s as good a time as any to brush up on your royals.
Can’t get enough of the Royal Baby madness? With Kate Middleton now officially in labor, Celebuzz has rounded up 10 additional stories from around the world to help take your mind off things until that little one is born. Enter the world beyond hyperemesis gravidarum over at Celebuzz….
It’s finally happening! Kate Middleton has been admitted to St. Mary’s Hospital in London in the early stages of labor. Obviously, there’s no word on what the baby’s name or gender will be yet: Kate seemed to indicate she was having a daughter but Prince Harry has reportedly been telling people the royal couple is expecting a boy. Either way, Kate and her newborn will spend the first six weeks of the baby’s life living at the Middleton family’s home. The newborn will be third in line for the throne, regardless of his or her gender, after Prince Charles and Prince William. We’ll be updating this post as more info comes in about the impending birth. [People] [Photo via Getty]
You can’t put a price on the birth of a child—unless you’re the British economy, and the child is an heir to the throne. The royal baby, due in July, will bring some $376 million into Britain’s retail coffers, according to a Center for Retail Research report. That’s thanks to all the baby-related stuff hitting the shops, from “Pitter Patter” nail polish to royal baby showers for non-royal moms. Meanwhile, the Middleton family company, Party Pieces, is selling a new baby range. Read more on Newser…
The royal baby is due to slide down the royal vagina any minute now and Britain is ready. Specifically, British gamblers are placing bets on everything to do with the child: name, gender (a boy according to Prince Harry, a girl according to some lady who claims Kate Middleton spilled the beans), its hair color, even whether it’ll have hair at all. Daddy did start balding in kindergarten, you know. Gambling website Paddy Power sent these four creepy giant babies around London-town to drum up press for their bets and cause nightmares in small children. Clearly they succeeded at both. If you were hoping for another Prince Hot Ginge in 18 years, I hate to break it to you that the odds are 11 to 4. [AdWeek] [Photo: AdWeek]
“A princess should be sexy. She is young, she is beautiful – I would like to create something special for her, but nothing too bold. I would like to prove to the world that Roberto Cavalli can dress a princess. Maybe I would use a print, keeping it young, sophisticated and sexy. Just because you are queen or princess it doesn’t mean you can’t be sexy.”
– Cinderella, watch out. If Robert Cavalli was your fairy godmother, that beautiful blue ball gown would have been a cleavage-bearing bandage dress. As if our dear Duchess of Cambridge didn’t have enough to worry about (it’s not like the heir to the royal throne is growing inside her or anything), she now has to be a “sexy,” according to Cavalli. Keep reading »
Kates Moss and Middleton effectively share nothing in common aside from a first name and a nationality: one is a renegade party girl and supermodel, the other a refined, perfectly vanilla royal wife and full-time perfect blowout-haver. And yet! The results of a poll formulated by Britain’s largest online beauty retailer, feelunique.com, show that the polar opposites snagged the top spots in the running for the UK’s most influential beauty icons.
Moreover, Middleton has knocked Moss out of the prime seat by almost double, with 30 percent of the poll’s responders citing the Duchess as the inspiration behind their beauty purchases. Says the site’s editorial director, who happens to be named NEWBY HANDS (????!), “Kate and Kate represent two sides of really modern women and between the two of them they cover all style and lifestyle tastes. … Despite their differences they are both aspirational and fascinating.” But, you know, Moss forever and ever and ever amen. There is only one Kate in London, am I right?
Of course, this raises the question — which side are you on? Do you skew towards Kate Moss’s insouciant tousled hair, smudged smoky eye, and nighttime red lip, or Kate Middleton’s black liner, flawless curls, and healthy bronzed skin? [Telegraph]