Keep this royal wedding barf bag handy on April 29th, 2011, every time you’re reminded 1) how much this is costing the British taxpayers, and 2) you’re not the one about to become a princess. It should have been me, Prince William. It should have been me! [Creative Review UK] Keep reading »
Royal wedding memorabilia has reached a new level of tastelessness: Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is selling Prince William and Kate Middleton-themed condoms! Instructing randy Brits to “lie back and think of England” because “like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion,” the condoms are sold in royal purple packages with a picture of the happy couple on the front. But some folks are not amused. “This is completely tasteless and rather hurtful,” Ingrid Deward, editor of Majesty magazine, told Orange News. “Prince William has a great sense of humor but this is a step too far.” Alas, Crown Jewels warns customers their condoms are only “heirloom products” and do not actually protect you against pregnancy or STDs. Maybe you could hang them on the wall next to your royal wedding heirloom plate that says “It should have been me!” [Orange] Keep reading »
Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting the Lifetime movie treatment. Yup, sometime in April before their April 29th wedding, Lifetime will air a movie about their courtship. According to Entertainment Weekly, Nico Evers-Swindell of “Law & Order” and “NCIS: Los Angeles” will play Prince William, Ben Cross of “Chariots of Fire” will play Prince Charles, and the actress to play Kate Middleton has not yet been cast. No matter, this movie is totally going to be better than “The Craigslist Killer”!
Now, we all know that in Lifetime movies, someone dies a horrific and untimely death. I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen in this movie. (Except for the Princess Di part.) But we can imagine what kind of ridiculous Lifetime-esque plots, full of passion, intrigue, and even more passion, that they could come up with … Keep reading »
Planning a royal wedding is no joke—Kate Middleton has resigned from her post at her parent’s party supply company to attend to all the assorted details of her April 29th nuptials. Already, we’re a little worried that the event might be stuck in the ’80s—Kate is wearing Diana’s decade-of-decadence engagement ring, the couple’s engagement photos look eerily like the ones Princess Charles and Diana took back in the day, and the wedding is going down in Westminster Abbey which … booorrrring. And now we hear that the Buckingham Palace staff has sent out save-the-date notices to the royal families of Europe—by fax machine. I mean, couldn’t they just have sent carrier pigeons? [OMG News, People] Keep reading »
Prince Charles is rumored to have a servant who squirts his toothpaste on his toothbrush. But Prince William and Kate Middleton will forgo such extravagances — for three years at least. The engaged couple will do their own laundry and cook their own meals for the remainder of the prince’s RAF military service, according to a royal source. That’s how long the couple intends to live on weekends in a cottage William rented in the town of Anglesey. “Prince William is not into extravagance and, like any other young officer in the armed forces, that is how he chooses to live his life,” said the source. “He and [Kate] live without domestic staff and they wouldn’t do it any other way. That’s the life they want to lead.” Of course, William and Kate have 24-hour body guards protecting them, but otherwise they live without maids or butlers. At least these kids don’t have any full-time staff; somehow I don’t imagine Prince William scrubbing his own toilet once a week.
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Tada! Here is Prince William and Kate’s Middleton kinda sweet official engagement photo, shot by Mario Testino. Because we know you were sooooo over that pic of Kate in the blue dress. Also, her ring doesn’t look nearly as gaudy here. [People] Keep reading »
Kate Middleton is not the only tall brunette with shiny-shiny hair to die for. A British pharmaceutical assistant, Kate Bevan, 21, who bears a striking resemblance to the princess-to-be, has quit her job to become a full-time Kate Middleton look-alike. “I went out to buy a sandwich and I was stopped four times by people in the street,” Kate Bevan told People. (Because the fiancée of the future king of England totally goes out and buys lunch on her own.) “Nearly everyone who comes through the pharmacy door makes a comment and gawps in total shock,” she added. She is now taking dialect lessons to lose her West Midlands accent and sound more like the posh princess-to-be. We know Elvis impersonators warble “Heartbreak Hotel” and chomp on peanut butter and banana sandwiches. But what does a princess impersonator do — wear big silly hats? Roll around in piles of priceless jewels? [People] Keep reading »
Britain apparently has a nation full of Emn Haddad-Friedmans. Who is Emn Haddad-Friedman, you ask? She was the bride who planned her wedding for July 31st in Rhineback, New York, the same weekend as Chelsea Clinton. Weddings are stressful enough without worrying the Clintons stole your caterers! After Prince William announced his engagement to longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton and set the wedding date for April 29, 2011, couples across Britain who chose the same day started fretting. Some Brits are really nutso about the royal family and the prince’s wedding will be a big enough deal to skip weddings of people they actually, you know, know. Personally, I think if someone chooses to stand outside Westminster Abbey for a peek at Kate’s bridal gown, or parks in front of the telly for the televised ceremony, it’s one less d-bag’s dinner and drinks you need to pay for. [BBC] Keep reading »