This video spoof from Funny or Die, starring Kate Beckinsale, Judy Greer, and Andrea Savage as Republican women who want government out of their banks and schools, but in their vaginas, is, frankly, hilariously sad because of how true it is. [Funny Or Die]
My parents are cool. Very cool. In fact, in some ways, they are cooler than I am. They know they all the hot restaurants in New York City, and they’ve been to every new play. They stay out late at jazz clubs, and put together ensembles with the ease of stylists. Their apartment looks like a page out of Dwell.
However, when I was a teenager, I was absolutely mortified by my parents. I remember one time, I was a few minutes late meeting my dad, who had agreed to pick me up from a school dance. Because he didn’t have all day to wait around for me, he walked on into the gym to find me. As I saw him stroll through the pathetically ballooned gymnasium, I felt a tsunami of shame rush over me. As if having parents was something none of my friends and classmates could possibly relate to. I still can hear the awful tenor of the voice I used when my mom once dared to ask me if I’d done my homework when my cooler, older friends came to pick me up to go to a party one night. “Mooooom, you’re embarrassing me!” It’s a teenage refrain.
So I was felt a little better to hear that Kate Beckinsale, admittedly one of the coolest women in the world, has a teenage daughter who is thoroughly embarrassed by her. Keep reading »
“We’d sort of had a little bit of an argument and [my mom] was leaving and my make-up artist had given me for Easter – I don’t know why – this enormous penis … a rubber one … it was quite wobbly. It was definitely decorative. It wasn’t functional. I kept on stashing it in my trailer and I thought, ‘I’m just gonna put it in her hand luggage when she goes to the airport and maybe that’ll somehow cheer us up,’ so I did that … I was gonna let it get to that point but my make-up artist was so horrified that I’d done it … I had to call her up and say, ‘Look, I’m really sorry, but just look in your bag.’ She went, ‘Oh my God, Kate, I can’t believe you’ve done it. What am I going to do with it?’ … I think she had to somehow dump it at the airport … I do like a penis joke. Doesn’t everybody? We have a tradition in my family now. Whenever I visit my mother’s house I always have to leave a banana and two apples, or whatever fruit she has, in a penis state in her fruit bowl just so she thinks of me when I’ve gone.”
– Kate Beckinsale on the penis prank she played on her mom. I respect Kate’s story. I strongly encourage humor of this sort. Fake penises, farts in jars, I love it all. The more, the better. My inner age is eight, by the way. [Starpulse]
“If you’re any kind of a human, you know the title is utterly ludicrous. But I like the idea of it, too. I do. I’m feeling that I must earn this. I need to go out and become much better at pole dancing or something.”
– Actress Kate Beckinsale, Esquire‘s latest sexiest woman alive, on her new title
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This week on “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” guest star Dean McDermott (Tori Spelling’s hubby) had on toenail polish! Say what? Both he and Kate Beckinsale’s director husband, Len Wiseman, have been seen strutting around LA in sandals to show off their colorful polish. But with around 30% of salon clients being male, they’re not the only bros getting their feet professionally pedicured. As hotel spa director, David Erlich, says, when it comes to treating your tootsies, “Men are the new women.” Yeah, the mantyhose, bras, garter belts, and girdles for men sorta hinted at that…
Hey guys! Head on over to The Frisky‘s MySpace Page and take the Celebrity Soulmate Quiz. Mine turned out to be Will Smith (for men) and Kate Beckinsale (for women), but I was super jealous when Designer Emily got Brad Pitt AND Angelina Jolie. Lucky! Who’s your Celebrity Soulmate? [Psst! And while you're on our MySpace page, befriend us, okay?] Keep reading »
