A topless photo of Kate Middleton?! I can’t imagine those words in the same sentence together. The French tabloid Closer claims it is in possession of Kate Middleton sunbathing topless in Provence with Prince William. According to Business Insider, the Closer website describes the topless duchess picture thus: “At the chateau, Kate was perfecting her tan and spread SPF 50 sun tan, while William was tapping his fingers on a table. And to avoid streaky tan marks, Kate thought it all the way through … and took off her bathing suit.” Presumably the image was shot by paparazzi on Kate and Will’s recent vacation to France. Unlike her brother-in-law Prince Harry, who was not a whit careful about stripping down naked in front of strangers with cell phones, Kate and Will have taken great pains to keep their private life (and parts) private. I guess, in this day and age, we shouldn’t be entirely surprised that this could happen anyway. [Business Insider]
Stop the presses, because Prince William has actually discussed the babies he will one day have with wife Kate. Specifically, he would like two of them, Wills said today while the couple was touring Singapore as part of Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee. “Someone asked him how many children he would like to have, and he said he was thinking about having two,” a student tells the AP. William has never before specifically numbered his future children, although an heir and a spare isn’t unheard of in royal circles. Read more…
Today in Ew, That’s Too Much Information: Kate Middleton is allegedly pregnant following a “passionate night together” with husband Prince William after the London Olympics. They just looooved the Olympics, I guess! Star magazine’s sources, who appear to be tiny gossips living right inside Kate’s uterus, say the royal couple are “keeping the news close to the vest” but “Kate is convinced it’s happened.” The duchess supposedly knows she is knocked up because “a woman can always tell when the earliest signs appear,” which is a more polite way of saying puking. I am not going to order baby shower supplies from Party Pieces just yet. Didn’t the Olympics just end, like, two weeks ago? It could just be gas, or nerves over her brother-in-law is an exhibitionist. [Hollywood Life]
So obsessed with Kate Middleton’s outfits that you need to own them? There’s a new iPhone app called Kate’s Style List that shows each and every one of Kate’s outfits and directs you where to buy them online. Her gorgeous teal dress from the Olympic Gala in London is out of the question for most of us but Kate’s preppier looks like colored jeans, blazers, and her famous L.K. Bennett nude heels are affordable even if you aren’t married to a duke. Keep reading »
So, by now most of us know that Kate Middleton has a (very distant) cousin named Katrina Darling who is a burlesque dancer. Ms. Darling just posed on the cover of Playboy and some of the words being used by the media to somberly describe how Ms. Middleton feels about this matter are “embarrassed,” “ashamed,” and “disheartened.”
Remember when Prince Harry dressed as a Nazi for Halloween? “Yes,” (probably some of) you say. But do you? Do we? Because it seemed like after the photos surfaced of him in a Nazi outfit, all he was given was a verbal lashing by the press for a week and Prince Charles’ version of Hank Hill’s “Dangit Bobby!” and then it pretty much disappeared. Yes, he apologized. “He made a mistake!” people say.
You know how I make a mistake? Keep reading »
I’m not trying to throw shade, but Pippa Middleton royally needs some help with her beauty game.Why does she have to go around in Forever 21 Couture with a deep orange Travolta tan and a face you can see your reflection in (contrary to rumors that old Pip loves herself a good powder session) while her oh-so-lucky sister the Duchess gets to be the darling of commoners and fashion editors alike? Not fair!
That Middleton family is just oozing with style.Duchess Katherine is the epitome of classy chic, sister Pippa always looks trendy and appropriate, and now, their distant cousin Katrina Darling has emerged on the scene with her own unique and risque aesthetic. Which really is to say, Katrina’s a burlesque dancer who’s on the cover of one of the most famous porn magazines ever, wearing some sexy black lingerie. I don’t know about you, but I kind of love the fact that Kate Middleton’s cousin is on the cover of Playboy.
All you have to do is take one look at their hair to know they’re related. The hair on their head! God. You’re gross.
Katrina and Kate are technically second cousins once removed (Kate’s great grandfather is the brother of Katrina’s grandmother), but still, you can see some resemblance. From their shiny, luxurious locks to their wide-set eyes and big smile, Kate and Katrina have many an enviable feature. It’s no wonder Katrina’s gaining some fame. Read more …
All right, you all know I’m a Pippa Middleton apologist. I feel for Pippa. I think she’s gotten the sh-t end of the scepter since Kate Middleton because Mrs. William Wales and the world’s golden girl. I know there are stories that she’s a social climber and trying to capitalize on her sister’s fame but I just don’t see it all the way out here in the middle of America so I don’t focus on that. What I will focus on is the fact that Kate’s brother, James Middleton,was just snapped with Hollywood D-lister and hot mess, Mischa Barton, and there’s no slap on the wrist. And it got me thinking. Do Kate Middleton and the royal family hold Princess Pippa to a higher standard? Read more…
When Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, isn’t all glammed up for events, I think she is so freakin’ adorable. Is that disrespectful to say of a future princess? I just mean that she looks so relaxed and smiley, like a fun normal girl with exceptionally shiny, voluminous hair, that I want her to be my best pretty princess friend. Bonus points for looking downright fabulous in Yves Klein blue! So if we did happen to become best pretty princess friends, which is almost entirely possible, I would gently advise her to loosen up the vise grip on the black eye pencil, and steer her in the direction of a thin, clean liquid line on the upper lid. There is no reason that anyone, especially a girl as lovely and as married to Prince William as Kate, should be wearing such heavy-handed liner to a daytime sporting event (oh, just the Olympics). However, I will note that she is clearly magic, because she’s sitting in the sun and that stuff is not budging. I would die to know what’s inside Kate’s makeup bag, but I feel pretty confident that she will never, ever tell. That skin! It’s gotta be the bee venom.