A topless photo of Kate Middleton?! I can’t imagine those words in the same sentence together. The French tabloid Closer claims it is in possession of Kate Middleton sunbathing topless in Provence with Prince William. According to Business Insider, the Closer website describes the topless duchess picture thus: “At the chateau, Kate was perfecting her tan and spread SPF 50 sun tan, while William was tapping his fingers on a table. And to avoid streaky tan marks, Kate thought it all the way through … and took off her bathing suit.” Presumably the image was shot by paparazzi on Kate and Will’s recent vacation to France. Unlike her brother-in-law Prince Harry, who was not a whit careful about stripping down naked in front of strangers with cell phones, Kate and Will have taken great pains to keep their private life (and parts) private. I guess, in this day and age, we shouldn’t be entirely surprised that this could happen anyway. [Business Insider]
Stop the presses, because Prince William has actually discussed the babies he will one day have with wife Kate. Specifically, he would like two of them, Wills said today while the couple was touring Singapore as part of Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee. “Someone asked him how many children he would like to have, and he said he was thinking about having two,” a student tells the AP. William has never before specifically numbered his future children, although an heir and a spare isn’t unheard of in royal circles. Read more…
Today in Ew, That’s Too Much Information: Kate Middleton is allegedly pregnant following a “passionate night together” with husband Prince William after the London Olympics. They just looooved the Olympics, I guess! Star magazine’s sources, who appear to be tiny gossips living right inside Kate’s uterus, say the royal couple are “keeping the news close to the vest” but “Kate is convinced it’s happened.” The duchess supposedly knows she is knocked up because “a woman can always tell when the earliest signs appear,” which is a more polite way of saying puking. I am not going to order baby shower supplies from Party Pieces just yet. Didn’t the Olympics just end, like, two weeks ago? It could just be gas, or nerves over her brother-in-law is an exhibitionist. [Hollywood Life]
So obsessed with Kate Middleton’s outfits that you need to own them? There’s a new iPhone app called Kate’s Style List that shows each and every one of Kate’s outfits and directs you where to buy them online. Her gorgeous teal dress from the Olympic Gala in London is out of the question for most of us but Kate’s preppier looks like colored jeans, blazers, and her famous L.K. Bennett nude heels are affordable even if you aren’t married to a duke. Keep reading »
So, by now most of us know that Kate Middleton has a (very distant) cousin named Katrina Darling who is a burlesque dancer. Ms. Darling just posed on the cover of Playboy and some of the words being used by the media to somberly describe how Ms. Middleton feels about this matter are “embarrassed,” “ashamed,” and “disheartened.”
Remember when Prince Harry dressed as a Nazi for Halloween? “Yes,” (probably some of) you say. But do you? Do we? Because it seemed like after the photos surfaced of him in a Nazi outfit, all he was given was a verbal lashing by the press for a week and Prince Charles’ version of Hank Hill’s “Dangit Bobby!” and then it pretty much disappeared. Yes, he apologized. “He made a mistake!” people say.
You know how I make a mistake? Keep reading »