Here’s some advice, ladies. If you’re taking up with a tabloid sensation—like, oh, Jon Gosselin—it’s probably not a good idea for the two of you to handwrite a contract to each other as a way of foreplay. Radar Online has posted a contract that was supposedly composed and signed by Jon and Kate Major during one of their hotel trysts. In the contract, Kate II specifies that “I, Kate Major, will run any media inquires past Jon Gosselin” and “will not make any negative or disparaging remarks.” In return, Jon pledged that, “I, Jon Gosselin, will employ Kate Major as a personal assistant” and “[she] will receive a percentage of accounts.” Radar says that Kate plans to sue Jon based on this super legally airtight doc. Also complicated—that Kate was recently subpoenaed to testify in TLC’s law suit against Jon. If she tells the truth, can that be considered a disparaging remark? Honestly, I just don’t know whether to believe this thing is real. It’s basically scrawled on a cocktail napkin. [Radar]

When I was in high school I did all kinds of crazy things so I could see my boyfriend without my parents knowing. But now I go in and out the front door like a regular, stable adult. Apparently, Jon Gosselin still hasn’t gotten to that stage. In an interview with Life And Style, Jon’s most recent ex, Kate Major, said, “Jon said he couldn’t be seen having a girlfriend, so he told me to drive to a neighbor’s house after midnight, when the kids were asleep. He said he’d pick me up on his four-wheeler, take me to his house and drop me off again at 6 a.m.” The couple’s first time happened in a New Jersey hotel room, which Kate (shocker) paid for. [Life and Style]

It’s okay, Jon, you aren’t the only sleazebag celeb who’s pulled stunts like this.

Last Saturday night, Jon Gosselin was spotted at a restaurant with a cute blonde. Turns out, she was Star magazine reporter Kate Major, who was writing a story on Jon. They claimed the relationship was strictly platonic. Until Wednesday, when Kate said, “I didn’t mean it to happen, it just did. I went to do a story on Jon and ended up falling for him.” Then came the rumors that the two were partying together in Hamptons, very oddly with Lindsay Lohan’s dad. Then this morning, a message appeared on Star‘s website saying that Major had resigned. So what’s going on here?