We’re so bored of our own text messages. The only people who text us regularly are our mothers. Hi mom! We love you, but blergh. We wonder what kind of sexy text messages celeb couples are exchanging … hmmm. They must me more titillating than ours. Or at least more entertaining.
After Scarlett Johansson debuted her new tattoo, Amelia and I both didn’t get it. We had an in-depth conversation about it, where we came to the realization that the reasons we didn’t like it were: A) it was exactly the kind of tattoo we expected Scarjo to get (the same way we expected her to release a Tom Waits cover album) and B) something about it seemed like she was trying too hard to demonstrate her street cred (the same way her Tom Waits cover album did).
We say this as two tattooed women who both have Chinese character tattoos we’re embarrassed of. I have two other tattoos, which I love because they have deep meaning to me. Maybe “Lucky You” has deep meaning to Scarjo, who knows? That’s not important. What’s important is this: Scarjo and her “Lucky You” tattoo inspired a much longer reverie about other celebrity tattoos we are expecting to see any day now. When they come true, just remember, we called it first.
Oh, excuse us for interrupting your private moment, Kim and Kanye. Wait, never mind, you’re out in public playing grab ass, why are we apologizing? Kim is the one who’s known for her famous fanny, but it seems she has a fondness of her own for the junk in Kanye’s trunk. She’s really up there, isn’t she? Is she holding on that tight because she’s afraid of falling in the rain? Careful, girl.
We’ve noticed quite a few famous folks who can’t help showing their feelings for the fanny by giving their partner a little love tap or a big squeeze. Maybe they’re just double checking that their babe’s butt is still there? Click on for photos of celebs latching on to a badonkadonk. Brace yourself—this slideshow is full of dangerous curves.
On this week’s episode of “What We Missed,” The Frisky staff obsesses over the new TLC show “Extreme Cheapskate,” gets all science-y and shit over the story of a woman who grew a new ear on her forearm, feels sorry for Kim Kardashian (because Kanye West is kind of a bad boyfriend), and laughs at an awesome parody of the “Women Who Rock” trope. Check it out above and weigh in on these stories in the comments!
A foolish part of me thought for a hot second that Kanye West‘s influence on the wardrobe of his “Perfect Bitch” would actually have a positive effect on Kim’s trademark “all things tight” style. I can now honestly say I liked it better before, because what in the actual fuck is this? Kanye West’s idea of a really great outfit, is what. Terrifying. Nightmares. [Photo: FameFlynet]
The only thing that surprises me about an alleged Kanye West sex tape is that it has taken this long for one to be made public — Kanye gives off the vibe that he videotapes every sexual encounter, doesn’t he? Radar Online is reporting that a 20-minute-long sex tape of Kanye with an “unidentified female” who says “at the beginning of the video that she’s 18 years old” and resembles Kim Kardashian with her curvy body and long, black hair, is being shopped around. Radar, who watched the sex tape in its entirety, says Kanye and the woman have sex without kissing and use a condom while doing the deed. (Good for you for having safe sex, Kanye!) Yeezy also makes eye contact with the camera during the film, signifying he knows the video was being shot. Frankly this is the most underwhelming news ever, although I am somewhat skeeved out that he’s 35 years old and banging an alleged 18-year-old. Again, not surprised. [Radar Online, Dlisted] [Image: Splash News]
We all know Kanye West declared his love for Kim Kardashian—and dissed Kris Humphries—in his recent song “Theraflu,” but it turns out the rapper has actually been sending Kim secret messages via song for years. Like, since 2009, sources “extremely close” to Kanye tell TMZ. One example, from that year’s “Knock You Down,” which came out while Kim was dating football star Reggie Bush:
“You was always the cheerleader of my dreams / To seem to only date the head of football teams / And I was the class clown that always kept you laughing / We were never meant to be, baby we just happened.” Read more…