Kim Kardashian looks classy and put-together, with all errant body parts neatly tucked in and a skin color more closely resembling that of a human being than a leather satchel. Dare I say she even looks… expensive? For a woman worth hundreds of millions who usually looks as if she blew her $20 allowance in the clearance section at Charlotte Russe, then picked up a couple extra accessories and makeup tips from the traveling circus on the way home, this is highly unusual. And good. It’s good. Thanks, Kanye.
We’re so bored of our own text messages. The only people who text us regularly are our mothers. Hi mom! We love you, but blergh. We wonder what kind of sexy text messages celeb couples are exchanging … hmmm. They must me more titillating than ours. Or at least more entertaining.
After Scarlett Johansson debuted her new tattoo, Amelia and I both didn’t get it. We had an in-depth conversation about it, where we came to the realization that the reasons we didn’t like it were: A) it was exactly the kind of tattoo we expected Scarjo to get (the same way we expected her to release a Tom Waits cover album) and B) something about it seemed like she was trying too hard to demonstrate her street cred (the same way her Tom Waits cover album did).
We say this as two tattooed women who both have Chinese character tattoos we’re embarrassed of. I have two other tattoos, which I love because they have deep meaning to me. Maybe “Lucky You” has deep meaning to Scarjo, who knows? That’s not important. What’s important is this: Scarjo and her “Lucky You” tattoo inspired a much longer reverie about other celebrity tattoos we are expecting to see any day now. When they come true, just remember, we called it first.
Oh, excuse us for interrupting your private moment, Kim and Kanye. Wait, never mind, you’re out in public playing grab ass, why are we apologizing? Kim is the one who’s known for her famous fanny, but it seems she has a fondness of her own for the junk in Kanye’s trunk. She’s really up there, isn’t she? Is she holding on that tight because she’s afraid of falling in the rain? Careful, girl.
We’ve noticed quite a few famous folks who can’t help showing their feelings for the fanny by giving their partner a little love tap or a big squeeze. Maybe they’re just double checking that their babe’s butt is still there? Click on for photos of celebs latching on to a badonkadonk. Brace yourself—this slideshow is full of dangerous curves.
On this week’s episode of “What We Missed,” The Frisky staff obsesses over the new TLC show “Extreme Cheapskate,” gets all science-y and shit over the story of a woman who grew a new ear on her forearm, feels sorry for Kim Kardashian (because Kanye West is kind of a bad boyfriend), and laughs at an awesome parody of the “Women Who Rock” trope. Check it out above and weigh in on these stories in the comments!