Condoms, the wonder rubbers, keep the sex safe like a superhero protecting a city. But there’s such a thing as condom Kryptonite. Before you get scared of imminent doom in the bedroom, here are six tips to stop your condoms from being rendered powerless.

1. When you’re cookin’ in the bedroom, never use oil-based lubricants like vegetable shortening, cold cream, or Vaseline. In addition to being a bit greasy, they can actually damage the latex. Only use water or silicone based lubricants and slip slide away!

I took a Women’s Studies class in college where we had to make a clay model of the way we viewed our bodies. Mine was extremely misshapen. But clay models aren’t just for burgeoning adults exploring their political self identity—they’re also for horny couples looking to try the Kama Sutra! The “Sculpta Sutra” is a claymation kit designed as a “fun, hands-on way for partners to learn more about adventurous love making.” The kit comes complete with enough dough to make two “very flexible sex instructors” who, with the help of a handy dandy guidebook featuring over 30 positions, will tell you everything you need to know about the ancient art of doing it. The kit does not come complete with an artistic gene, however, so your Position #14 may still look like mush. [BaronBob.com] [Link contains clay penises so is therefore NSFW.]

Cosmopolitan’s articles can induce so much puke, sometimes I think the magazine is making me bulimic.  The sex advice usually applies to girls who drink too much at frat parties or bored housewives who just can’t figure out their husband is gay, but this month there’s a gem that can put any woman on top of her game.  How many times have you bent like a pretzel to impress your partner?  Well, now it’s time for you to hump him with his knees to his chest.  Ha!  The Kama Sutra sex position of the week—with the least sexy name, The Erotic Accordion—is actually pretty hot.  First step: Try to not get hungry for Mexican food when they call a penis a “hot tamale.” Step 2: Get your man fetal, but lying on his back.  Step 3: Straddle him, then lower yourself down and start the low-ride. [WARNING: This thigh workout is not for the faint of Stairmaster.] Now, go make some beautiful accordion music together! [Cosmo]

Left foot blue! This bed sheet (about $40, imported from England) lets you play an adults-only version of Twister. Stretch first. [Karmasheetra.com]