So, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got married today, and they are both really pretty and talented (okay, he’s really talented, and she’s really pretty). But you know what? We can’t get a boner up for this. They might just be the most dull celeb couple ever. Timberlake called his lady “a really, really, really special person,” which is nice, you know? But also so dispassionate-sounding. I mean, longterm, this probably bodes well for their marriage, but who among us wasn’t secretly hoping that JT would eventually get back together with Britney Spears? Now that’s passion. [People]
Let’s start with the good: Jessica Biel‘s subtle, glowy makeup at the NYC “Total Recall” premiere is gorgeous and ethereal, her hair is as close to perfection as it can get with the distracting fringe, love the reptile pumps, and that ring must have cost a grand heap of “Sexy Back” royalties. This look almost — almost — gets it so right, but she had to go and make a goddamn travesty of a lovely dress by throwing on an inexplicable matching lace cape! Whyyyyy, Jessica? Did JT insist? Are you taking a page out of Natalie‘s book and getting married beneath a chuppah directly after the premiere, which would explain the need for covered shoulders? Were you just cold? How cold? Was Colin Farrell cold, too? Do tell.
“I’ll be honest: [Justin] has better taste than I do … When I walk out of the closet after getting dressed in the morning, I’ll go like this [turns palms upward as if to say, 'Well?'] And he goes like this [shakes his head no]. Then he picks again. It’s hilarious.”
–Oh yes, Jessica Biel, it sounds totally hilarious. A laugh riot. Ugh, you guys are so boring. [People] Keep reading »
What does every single dude that’s ever starred in a romantic comedy have in common? Well, they’ve all been impersonated by this guy, and they’ve all been in a movie with Jen Aniston.
Jessica Biel may have finally gotten ladies man Justin Timberlake to commit, but she’s no dummy — along with the rock on her finger, Jessica is apparently locking Justin into a prenup that he’d be stupid to break. According to Radar, Jessica will get at least $500K if Justin ever cheats on her — an insurance policy that is no doubt related to rumors that he’s strayed a few times throughout their relationship. Apparently, Jessica isn’t 100 percent trusting of J.Tim just yet, so she wants a few cheat-free years of wedded bliss before she’ll pop out any babies — especially since “Jessica figures if she gets fat during pregnancy, he’ll cheat again.” How … romantic. Call me crazy, but $500K seems a little low, no? I mean, Justin is a huge star with a LOT of money in the bank. I would have gone for $1 million per! [Radar]
In the grand scheme of celeb prenups, Jessica’s cheating clause is pretty tame. Celebrities are masters of manipulating prenuptial agreements to cater to their lifestyles. Here are a few of the weirdest stipulations.
Jessica Biel has yet to confirm her engagement to Justin Timberlake with a ring, but it seems she was flashing around some impressive bling Saturday night. Us Weekly reported the “7th Heaven” actress attended a “Saturday Night Live” after-party with Timberlake, who appeared in a few sketches that night with host Maya Rudolph. Read more…
Look, I am not one of those people who is nostalgic for the good ol’ days of “Saturday Night Live,” when the Coneheads and Pat were making everyone laugh. No, I like “SNL” now. But that doesn’t mean it always cracks me up. Usually I watch the show on Sunday mornings, with my coffee and New York Post, and I smile and maybe a giggle or two pops out. But when Maya Rudolph hosted the show this weekend — featuring special guests Amy Poehler and Justin Timberlake — I cracked the hell up.
Above, Blue Ivy Carter meets Prince, Taylor Swift, Brangelina, and Bon Iver, portrayed perfectly by Timberlake. And after the jump, more sketches I loved. Keep reading »